#you know those squeezy things you put into drinks

[doubletaileddoubletrouble]

I do not feel telling the peanut gallery that you have a hard time noticing poison is a good idea... Fox.

We do have a physical form and an unnecessary amount of freedom, and as has been displayed a general lack of care for your safety

Hey! I would notice! Maybe. Hopefully. I should probably go make a device for that or something tomorrow.

I just realized I've been drinking a caffinated drink for the last 3 hours, and I was planning on going to bed an hour ago... fuck. Guess I can go make that now.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

A vaguely jazzy-sounding remix of a pop Christmas song was playing softly, and lights were glinting off an abundance of cheap silver and lilac garlands. Plucky plastic white pines adorned with sparkly rainbow-shaped ornaments dotted the entire place. It was a relatively classy establishment eleven months of the year, and Steve thought that the exception was quite adorable. There was something comforting in tacky, especially in a gay bar.

He immediately spotted Bucky sitting at the counter. He chuckled at himself, at the way his chest still did that glowy, squeezy feeling it did when he saw Bucky after some time, or even after no time at all. Sam had teased him on the way back from the trip, guessing exactly what had Steve excited like a puppy at the prospect of going home. It had been just a few days, really, and he knew Bucky was comfortably home in New York, enjoying leisure time. But he still couldn’t wait to be with him again.

Bucky looked so soft in his loose hair bun and cozy knit sweater, sipping something creamy-colored from a margarita glass, and Steve lingered for a few moments to observe him, feeling a warmth in his chest that wasn’t from stepping indoors from the winter open air, and eventually reached the counter.

“What’s a guy as handsome as you doing all alone in here?” he asked as he sat on the stool next to Bucky.

A brief flash of surprise appeared on Bucky’s features, and then a smile bloomed across his face, lightening up his eyes, and it was the most beautiful sight in the world.

“Oh, my husband is on a work trip,” he replied with a delighted grin.

“And leaves you here on your own? So close to Christmas? You should dump him.”

Bucky laughed. “Maybe I should, but he’s kind of a big important guy, and it’s kinda sexy.”

Steve chuckled. “Is that so?”

“M-mh,” Bucky nodded, wrapping his arms around him. “Also, I don’t actually care about Christmas, but don’t tell him this, ‘cos he’s a romantic and loves all this stuff.”

“Mmm,” Steve just replied. It wasn’t completely true that Bucky didn’t care about Christmas, because he might be Jewish, but he was like a cat, and shiny ornaments and twinkly lights had him enchanted. Those and the food. In a different world, a lifetime ago, he’d help Steve’s mom with putting up the decorations, claiming it was to take the burden off Steve, who at that point of the season would inevitably be waging a war against his lungs, but the truth was that he was ecstatic about it.

“So how was the trip?”

Steve smiled. “It was alright. Sam did most of the talking, which is good, he’s more diplomatic than I am.”

“Diplomatic is not a word I’d use for either you or Sam, but a rabid raccoon would be more diplomatic than you, so I can believe it.”

Steve chuckled as he sank a hand in the hair just above Bucky’s neck. “You’re beautiful.”

Bucky beamed softly and leaned forward to press his lips against Steve’s. Bucky was still a bit cautious with showing affection in public, but in gay bars he let all his guards down, just like they’d always done. Steve, on the other hand, had the constant urge to just be as obnoxious as possible with their affection, which was probably further proof that there was something irrevocably broken with his sense. But there was something inside of him that screamed to shove their love in the world’s face, to force people to see them. He felt a little glee at paparazzi pictures, even if he wasn’t supposed to, but inside of him a little voice said, look at us, look at us, see us, see, see .

“You still have things to do before the holidays, or—?”

“Nope. I’m free to give my full, undivided attention to this really hot guy I know.”

Bucky grinned. “Lucky him.”

Steve pressed a gentle kiss against his mouth.

“What are you drinking?”

“I asked the bartender to make me something yummy and creamy and christmassy.”

“You asked for eggnog in a margarita glass?”

“So? It’s Christmas. No point in living in a majority Christian country if I cannot take advantage of it.”

KEEP READING ON AO3

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Ep 36 The banning of snacks and sweet drinks displays from next to cash registers.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. Ok, today lets get straight on with it. Joe  could you please...

J: Yes, lets have a look at this news. Snack and sweet drinks displays next to cash registers banned in Berkeley, California, USA. In the university city of Berkeley, northern California, a law has been passed this week banning the sale of junk food next to cash registers in supermarkets. According to local media, this is the first of its kind in America. The law, unanimously voted for by Berkeley City council, targets cheap, unhealthy products next to cash registers which 'encourage impulse buying, and burden parents of children who want them', with the aim of promoting  healthy lifestyles. Products with over 5g of added sugar or 250mg of added sodium, and drinks containg a lot of sugar or artificial sweetners have been banned from sale next to cash registers. The ban will come into effect from next March. In the city of 120,000 people it will be imposed in 25 large scale supermarkets. The progressive city Berkeley, on the outskirts of San Francisco has been taking health initiatives before now. In 2014 they imposed a tax on soft drinks, and according to a survey from last year, consumption of soft drinks had halved by 2017.

K: Its true though, the cash registers over there have so many snacks near them.

J: They do, don't they?! They are really colourful. But banning it by law is really stepping in, isn't it?

T: Yeah.

J: The supermarkets aren't stopping it through self-restraint, its been forbidden by law, so if they do it will they be penalised?

T: Yeah, wow.

J: I think this is a warning that in America this kind of health damage caused by excessive additives and sugar in food is becoming a serious problem.

K: Yeah, people just end up picking it up.

J: When im waiting in line at the supermarket, its the same in Japan...in the convenience store in Japan, I wait till the last moment and always end up picking up those little Tirol chocolate squares.

K: Oh yeh, they have those out, don't they?

J: They do! Don't those chocolates just call out  to you at the last minute? I always end up buying a few.

T: I  buy 'Bikkuriman'. For the sticker.

J: Oh yeh. Still?

T: I just sometimes get the feeling like I want to open it. I reminds me off old times, haha. I throw it away straight away though.

J: Kaoru, what about you?

K: I don't buy that stuff.

J: Oh, you don't?

K: No, I just buy what I was intending to buy before I went. If Im walking around the store and I see an interesting new product or something, I might buy it, but the stuff near the cash register seems more like left over produce to me.

J: Ah, close to expiring?

K: Yeh, it looks like they really want you to buy it, so they put it there. I don't really feel like picking it up.

T: Ah, I see.

K: But in supermarkets they have gum and stuff near the registers, don't they?

J: Yeah.

K: I do buy gum.

J: Ahh, yeh...Kami? What do you think?

Kami: I pick all of it up.

T: Nice, Kami.

Kami: I get tonnes. 1000yen worth.

T: Haha

Kami: Maybe 500yen, not 1000.

K: Do you like sweets, Kami?

Kami: Yeh, i do. I pick them up straight away. Um, there's often drinks on display too, right?

J: Yeah.

Kami: If there's cola or fanta, I will buy both.

T: Haha

Kami: If I go to buy tea, I will buy all that.

K: You like sweet stuff, right?

J: Yeah.

Kami: No, its not that. Its just that it all looks delicious. It makes you forget *1

T: I see, yeh.

J: In that sense, its part of the store's strategy.

T: Yeh, Kami seems like he would hate that kind of strategy, but he still falls for it.

J: Yeh, he seems like he would be opposed to it, but he still buys tonnes, right Kami?

Kami: Yeh, I really jump on the bandwagon.

K: This stuff must sell a lot.

J: Yeh, I think so. This kind of food looks visually fun, right? Colourful and stuff. Kids get pulled in by it. Like, 'I wanna eat this!'. Its pretty amazing to pass a law in this. That would be impossible in Japan, right?

T: I feel like Japan has more freedom. I had the image since I was small that America is the country of freedom, but recently if you look at America, there is ban after ban...it seems like life there is getting more restricted. And in Japan, even with covid we can still go outside, or go to restaurants and stuff. It made me think Japan is quite free. Its a weird feeling.

J: Ahh, the rules in America are stricter?

K: Overseas, they were quite strict about indoors. Japan is only just getting like that recently, right?

J: Yeh, America was a lot quicker to regulate indoor smoking.

T: Its like that with alcohol too. When one of my best friends was in America during his student days, he once wore a Budweiser tshirt and he was told, 'Its illegal', and he had to change it. I thought that was pretty strict when I heard.

K: You can't carry it around with you either, can you?

J: Yeah, you have to put it in a bag.

K: I stepped outside a venue without knowing this while I was holding a beer can once, and I was told that isn't allowed.

J: Yeh, yeh, yeh. Well, it does depend on how you look at it. Its often said that in Japan, rather than having rules...well, in America there is a kind of society that is governed by rules, but in Japan its more about community, so rather than having rules, peer presure is very strong. People worry about what others think. Its very Japanese, 'other people are saying this, so...', or 'other people are doing this, so...'. People adapt themselves to that first of all.

T: I wonder which style is better?

J: Yeah. They are both different.

T: Its not nice being told by the government to stop something, is it? I understand the reasons though.

K: Well, people do protest that kind of thing.

Kami: But I think this law is good.

J: It is good.

Kami: I think its really good, because you can finish up without buying stuff.

K: Well, it is good.

Kami: Its really good. I thoroughly agree with it.

K: Kids won't pine for sweets either.

J: Yeh.

Kami: I do think its good to buy sweets for kids though.

J: Oh really?

K: Yeh, but just not there, right?

Kami: I wanted sweets when I was a kid.

K: Me too.

T: Yeh, me too.

Kami: I really wanted all those sweets by the register when I was a kid, but I never got them.

K: There are those socks full of snacks at Christmas, right? I wanted one of those.

T: Yeh, me too.

J: If you think about what made you excited as a kid, basically its the sweet shop, right?

K: Yeh, I used to go there.

J: Whenever I ate sour plums and stuff from the sweet shop, my tongue went bright red *2

K: They were crunchy, right?

J: Yeh! I would drink up all the syrup.

K: Haha.

J: I bet that would be no good under that tax in Berkeley.

T: Yeah.

K: Ahh, sweet shops...

T:???

J:???*3

K: I still feel like eating those kind of sweets sometimes.

J: Yeah. There aren't many sweet shops around these days, in the Tokyo area.

T: Yeah, there aren't.

K: But there are sections in other shops that sell those kinds of sweets.

T: A long time ago there was an izakaya in Sangenjaya that only served sweets as beer snacks.

K: Oh, there was, wasn't there?!

T: Yeh. I went a couple of times, cause its unusual, but sweets...

K: You can't withstand it?

J: After you become an adult, right? At first you are like, 'Woah, so nostalgic', but ..

T: Yeh, it gets boring.

J: You start to think halfway, 'this needs to be more tasteful!' Uh, in the precincts of Kishibojin there is apparently Japan's oldest sweet shop or something still there. Its a famous old man, or old woman who runs it.

K: I recently went to Kawagoe.

T: Oh, Little Edo!

K: Yeh, there is a sweet shop street there. The people there were amazing. Well, I mean they were all wearing yukatas and stuff, and eating.

T: Its made me want to go to a sweet shop!

J: Ah, there is a tonne of good places to eat there, isn't there?

K: Oh, is there? In Kawagoe?

J: Yeh.

K: As for sweet shops, the ones that have a downtown feeling are the best. 

J: Yeah.

K: Its nostalgic, going to the sweet shop in the evening, and getting those colourful squeezy things to drink...

J: Yeh!

K: And eating sweets at the same time.

J: Which was your favourite sweet, Kaoru? From the sweet shop?

K: From the sweet shop? I liked Curry rice-crackers, and 5yen chocolate, and those gummy type things in a box, that you pick up with a little stick.

J: Oh yeh.

K: I used to eat that kinda stuff.

T: What about you, Joe?

J: I liked plum jam, I sandwiched it between those kinda soft rice-crackers. And I liked the  Castella.

T: Oh yeh, they had those small ones.

J: Yeh, they were on a skewer. I used to eat them a lot.

K: Tasai?

T: I used to get those squeezy things too. And wasn't there always like a 10yen game outside sweet shops? I would win more sweets with that.

K: You won?? More sweets came out of the game?

T: It was like a 30yen ticket, right?

J, K: Ehh?

J: I never saw that.

T: Didn't you? Like, where you try to get the ball in the hole for ten yen? And if you win, you get a ticket?

K: Ah, I remember something like that where you can win, but I don't remember tickets coming out. It was little freebies. Ah, its nostalgic. Should we try going to a sweet shop on this show?

J: A sweet shop?? Should we??

K: Yeh.

T: Thats a good idea. With 100yen in change.

K: Actually, that place in Kawagoe was closed.

J: Haha, really?

K: I went all the way there, but..

J: Just for that?

K: Yeh.

J: Really?

K: Well, lets go to one on this show.

J: Yeh, lets do it! Film on location!

K: Ok, lets plan something. Lets fill ourselves with unhealthy snacks.

J: Ah, but it won't be that much.

K: Well, yeh.

J: It'll be limited to what you can get at the sweet shop.

T: Sounds good.

K: Is this ok? Us ending up talking about this?

T: Its ok, it feels good to talk about it.

J: It does, haha.

K: Ok, well, we'll finish here. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1, 2 Difficult to hear, but i think its this.

*3 Couldn't catch.

[weaselle]

Sims 4 Build

OK. So. I started a new play through a while back and I wanted my sims to go out to eat and if you aren’t familiar with the Sims there are only bar/lounges and of course that ridiculous place in the faux Hollywood world. So I went to the Gallery and downloaded a couple of restaurants and...

Because I have worked for 25 years in the F&B service industry, I immediately became salty about a number of things.

And that’s why I built this restaurant, full of all the things people leave out of their restaurant builds.

See, it’s not a house. Stop building house shaped restaurants. And, nobody includes parking lots, but since I did, I made sure the handicap spots are the two closest to an entrance and have a loading zone adjacent.

I’m detail oriented in my sims builds.

If you’ve worked in restaurants, you’ll identify with all the commonalities I’ve found missing in most gallery builds that I’ve applied to this restaurant, even if you don’t play Sims.

If you haven’t worked in restaurants but you do build them in Sims 4, you could view this as a tutorial

FOH - The Floor

First of all, idk what people are looking at when they go out to eat, but evidently it isn’t the seating arrangements -- I kept finding restaurant after restaurant that seemed to have no ideal how to set up a dining area with tables. Like, the tables would be so crammed together the sims couldn’t actually walk between them, or they’d have a white cloth establishment with almost all 6 and/or 8 tops (a six-top is a table with six chairs) and almost no 2 or 4 tops; sometimes there would be like, mostly 10 or 12 tops!

Or they’d put chairs on every side of every table even though this makes everything cramped, or they’d jigsaw a bunch of different table sizes into a giant crowded square filling most of the restaurant. But mostly I saw people... doing all of these things at once they were all just doing all of this all the time omg. 

(Though I did see a couple builds where they had a huuge restaurant and then like, five small tables) Nobody seemed to know how many people a space should comfortably seat, or how many tables/seats a restaurant might need, or how to set them up

look

some things to notice: 

This seats 46. That’s good. When we move into the bar the bar tables and seating at the bar are going to bring it up to 63. Depending on your restaurant you’ll usually have between 40 and 80 seats, so I’m hitting my target perfectly. 

more than half the tables are 2 tops, but more than half the chairs are at larger tables; this isn’t like, a rule, but does mean there is probably close to the right mix of table sizes, especially for a white table cloth kinda place. There are only two “large” tables, which is about right.

The layout is easy to comprehend and section out. This floor easily lends itself to a two-server or four-server shift, and three servers isn’t hard to figure out. Like, I know exactly which tables each server would have as a four-server shift transitioned down to the closer over the evening.

It’s nearly symmetrical but not quite 100% which is what you usually see in a restaurant.

The lights are not placed randomly. You might think this doesn’t need to be pointed out. You’d be surprised.

There is plenty of room to move between the tables and have guests feel like they have their own area, with like, lanes to walk down, but there is no wasted space. It’s very full, but not at all crowded.

There’s a defined entrance, with a waiting area. The game tells you that you have to include this host station

which, yeah, some places just have a simple podium, but I built it out to help define the entrance, which has a menu stand and some seating for a wait list and the host stand has clutter like extra table tent menus and a condiment caddy. 

Similarly, the game says you need this server station

but I turned it into this

Now THAT’s a server station, with a drinks fridge, extra menus, plates, condiment shelves, and a coffee pot, which is orange for decaf because theres a regular coffee station that includes an espresso machine behind the bar. See?

Lastly, you can’t really tell from the pics so far, but the dining room and bar seating is only about half of the total space in the building, which is about right.

Here’s the bar tops

and the bar, which has a pass window right to the kitchen line, under the TV (don’t worry, there’s a proper pass for the servers and an expeditor through that door to the right) 

But once I addressed these issues with the Front of House, I realized: there is so much more missing from most restaurants on the gallery.

Like the back office.

BOH - Office

I didn’t find a single restaurant on the gallery that included one, but just about every restaurant has a shitty little back office crammed into what should be, like, a small closet. They all tend to look a little something like this

I had to hunt through debug for most of this clutter - it’s hard to tell in this pic, but that’s a couple stacks of money just sitting out on the desk to the right of the computer. That’s, shall we say, not super unusual to see in one of these crappy little paperwork prisons. And of course the mess of files and mail and shit.

You know what else every restaurant has but I never saw in any on the gallery?

Dish Pit

The game is not set up to allow you to make a proper dish pit. Like, there isn’t an industrial dishwasher or anything. Bu tI made one anyway. From the floor sinks, to the dish racks, to the horrible, heavy-ass red rubber mat that’s such a pain to clean at the end of the shift, I think you’ll recognize this room right away

I really had to fiddle to get this one -- those dish racks? they’re actually overlapped home counter racks that look like this

they were super hard to line up right. The “floor sinks” are actually a drain that’s supposed to go on the bottom of a pool, the dishwasher is actually three floor models raised to the right hight and overlapped facing different directions, and I added the little drain panels on either side by shrinking and raising floor vents to the height of the counters, which are actually overlapping tables. The floor I lucked out on, the Sims 4 has a tile floor pattern that comes in both grungy and clean, so I placed the clean ones on the outside edge of the dish pit floor in half-tiles along an irregular pattern with the edges matched to the lines of grout and added a couple of my own floor smudges so there wouldn’t be a straight line of dirty versus clean tile. Then I put some water stains over the whole thing to mask it better, overlapping some of the water stains to create the illusion of a flow of water going down the floor drain. 

Speaking of the dish pit, most restaurants have this cousin to the dish pit, that I don’t know what to call except maybe a 

Mop Closet

The Sims doesn’t have one of the yellow industrial mop buckets with the squeezy thing attachment, but I did pretty good here. Wish I could have erased the shower head, but I for sure needed the wall spigot handles and the hose. Managed to size up a bucket with water to the right dimensions and trick the game into letting me stick in a mop that’s supposed to hang on a wall. Added some cleaning supplies and stuff to the shelves.

Speaking of shelves, nobody ever includes dry storage when they do a Sims 4 restaurant. You know, with the empty beer kegs and those metal rack shelves full of, like, rows of little bottles and the restock items like six packs of soda and sacks of dry ingredients and way up on the top is the shit that never ever gets used but somehow you have to get up there every other week anyway?

See that door, the one with a light over it and a light next to it and a little temperature gauge? Yeah, you know what else I never see in gallery restaurants builds? 

Walk In

this was a pain, not only did I have to meticulously place every bottle on top of that fridge unit, but those kegs are actually tiny soda cans with no labels that I had to pull out of the vast un-tagged and un organized debug menu. I don’t even think they got placed by the devs anywhere in game, I think they are some kind of frame that gets a label/skin before it gets placed, usually. And see that fan up top in the middle of the wall? That’s actually two separate pieces of nonsense -- like, the center part isn’t a fan at all, its a stone wall decoration. But the design looks like a fan, so I shrank it and shoved it most of the way back into the wall til it was nearly flat and found that other thing that had a circle the right size in the middle. and viola. Oh, and it and those other vents next to it don’t just go to nothing, oh no, they match up perfectly on the outside to these

Okay, now, everybody building restaurants in the Sims DOES include a

Kitchen

And they often do a fine job, so I’m not going to spend much time here, but they do tend to skimp on prep space

(hey, see those shelves on the top right? Those are shelves full of dishes. I never see shelves full of dishes in gallery restaurant builds, but like, you need a bunch of shelves full of dishes. And off in the corner to the far left of the top wall? Prep sink tucked away back there.) 

Dude, let me just say... that prep counter?I placed every vegetable on that counter individually, AND I had to trick the game into letting me put more than the like, three items each counter space usually has slots for. What a pain. Worth it tho. It’s hard to tell, but there’s a knife next to the cutting board.

And lastly, no restaurant would be complete without 

“out back”

okay this post is long enough, but I just want to point out the stack of empty pallets, the discolored liquid and debris under the dumpsters along with a rat trap, and a little smoke break area with shitty chairs and a garbage table with some kind of bowl or something being used as an ashtray.

There’s more to this restaurant, employee lockers, bathrooms, etc, but this post is long enough, and I covered the most important stuff. 

In conclusion, I’m getting pretty good at sims builds, and other builders should ask me for tips on restaurant builds or read this post, because I swear none of them have ever worked in food service

[astroi]

From Black to Blue

Steven watched Steven 2 check something off on a sheet of paper, everything was written in some sort of code, he couldn't dream of reading it. His future counterpart counted on his fingers in Spanish, Steven didn't know enough Spanish to really follow it.

"Uno: Salva la aguja del mar." He tapped his pen to the paper, scribbling an X.

"Dos: Protégelos del musgo." He placed a check in the box. He hummed, partially content.

"Tres: Interceptar las mentiras de papá." He smiled and put a ✓ in that box.

"Cuatro: Exponer las Gemas a los robonoides de Peridot." Steven 2 checked that box with a stiff nod.

"Cinco: Capturar Spinel." He folded the paper back up into his pocket.

"What 'cha doing, 2?" The pen he was holding became dented in his grip.

"Wh-what, Steven?" He was never a good liar, "What- how long have you been watching me?"

"Just a little bit, can you tell me what language you were writing in, it looks cool." Steven 2 chuckled at that, lightly shaking his head. It was nice to see him smile.

"If I tell you, you-," he trailed off staring at the puppy dog eyes of his younger self. He couldn't resist their power!

"It's modern gem gliph." He confessed with a sigh.

"Gem gliph?" The boy tilted his head.

"It's what Era thr- tw- Gems use on- on- their networks nowadays."

'Nice save, Universe,' he chastised himself.

"Ooh, cool! Can you teach me?"

"I could-," he definitely could, there were slight discrepancies between Gem and English, mostly in phrases and vocabulary. Understandably, they do not have a word for taco or any food, as of yet.

"Can we start now?!" Stars gleamed in the kid's eyes. Diamonds briefly flashed in his, "Okay, but when I get back."

"Where are you going?"

His knuckles rapped on the empty plastic, "Just a Gem mission."

"Can I come?"

"No," Steven 1 deflated, "it's a little too dangerous for you. If you came along I have no idea how that could impact the future."

"Why did you come to the past anyway, 2?"

His teeth gritted together as he spoke, "The same reason anyone would: to fix things before they can break."

"So what broke?" Steven 2 didn't reply, only standing up from the couch and pulling out a water bottle from the fridge.

"What broke? Some cool Gem artefact?" Steven 1 pressed. Steven 2 avoided conversation by chugging the water bottle and grabbing a second one.

"Why are you drinking water?"

"There isn't any where I'm going."

"Maybe I can come and carry the waters for you?"

'Please', he just wanted to be useful.

"Why do you want to come so badly? Don't you have a video game to play or a movie to watch?" He snapped.

Steven 1 snapped right back, "It's so boring here! And you're always going on those cool secret missions in the middle of the night!"

He stammered, "I-I-I, how do you know about that?"

"Sometimes I wake up early and you're not there."

"Uh, w-well, it's a job in itself preventing sh-st-stuff from happening."

"Can't I come with you?"

"I, not this time, little guy, but if they're tame, I guess you can come."

Steven 1 cheered, "Oh, thank you, thank you!"

"I'm sure there's something you can help me do." He thinks of Nephrite's crew, "Yeah, yeah, you and I can go on a mission soon, maybe tomorrow-ish."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it won't be too hard, if you do good on it I'll consider taking you to more complicated missions."

"I won't let you down, I know the Sea Spire thing was my fault, but I won't mess up again, 2." Steven 2 tossled the lad's curls fondly.

"See you tomorrow, then."

"Wait, you'll be safe, right?"

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm as tough as nails!" He grinned at the kid, hoping to cheer him up. There was a slight chance he might never return, at least as who he is now.

He went outside to use that warp, 'as he always does,' Steven 1 mulled.

He jogged in the desert's cold for however long it took for him to find his mother's old leg ship. Activating it, he launched himself out of the Earth's orbit. The coordinates were set for The Garden, it was only a matter of time before he had to bubble that Gem. Spinel probably didn't deserve this, but he had to protect the Earth and himself, so he steeled himself as he neared the abandoned planetoid.

It almost hurt him to see Spinel all hopeful like that.

"Pink?" He heard from the top of the legs, "Pink, is that you?"

He floated down gently, he knew what happened the first time; he didn't have to fight her.

"No, I'm sorry. Pink has been dead for fourteen years."

"But-but,"

"She was never planning on coming back for you, Spinel, I'm sorry."

Spinel was sobbing, yanking at her heart-shaped buns "She left me here for thousands of years, and," the pink Gem hiccoughed, "then she dies!" Spinel crumpled in a heap on the ground, letting out a broken sob before poofing. Steven 2 bubbled the Gem and left it there; he couldn't bring himself to take it back with him. He felt his memories changing. He felt lighter: he got his happily ever after. Sure, Aquamarine and Eyeball were a pain to deal with, but they were relatively harmless. Everything was good, even if he spends most of his time on Homeworld these days. He'd do anything to stop them from moving in with him on Earth; if that meant visiting at least four times a week, so be it.

He left the legs in the desert, curled up against the wall of the weird trash collection his mom had amassed. He made his way back in a series of happy hops.

Steven 1 ran up to him, when he opened the door, "How'd it go?"

"Went good, the hard part was just getting there, honestly." He opened the refrigerator to get more water, tearing the paper and stepping into the bathroom.

Steven 1 noticed 2 had changed, his shirt was different (after turning on the light that became very apparent) he seemed happier though. The Steven 2 he knew was never in this good of a mood. What happened? Where did he go, what did he change?

He knew he should be happy for 2, but he's acting like a different person now. Humming, singing, dancing and still adding things to that ever-growing check-list of his. He missed his friend, he could make friends again with this new Steven 2, but how long will that last before he changes again?

Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet didn't seem to remember the Steven 2 he met a couple of weeks ago a-top the sea spire with the moon goddess statue in his hands. It was weird to see them acting like this.

"Hey, bud, what's wrong?" The cyan-shirted 2 asked.

"I miss the old you."

"That's valid, kid. You got to know the guy, I don't remember being him anymore."

"You don't?"

"Nah, it's okay for you to miss him, all I know is that his life was worse than mine. For me, going back in time has been like a vacation for me: I get to speed things along and get to enjoy the sights one more time." He smirked, "It's actually kind of refreshing to see things changing."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, everything's always the same in the future. Go the work, make a couple calls, check-in around town, look for any leftover corrupted gems; it's the same day in and day out. I get plenty of days off though, it's nice to split the load for once. Back when I was sav- fifteen, it was just me for the most part. It was exhausting having to do all I had alone. It's nice to just lounge around, I barely got to do that before. I always have to sit upright an' stuff." He laughed, "I wish I could get into the details more, but that could break 'all of time and space as we know it.'" He made an impression of a nasally voice.

"Psh, as if, Pink Lasagna," he winked, "has got it covered."

"Who's-,"

"Man, I wanna tell you everything, but," he huffed crossing his arms, "I'm supposed to wait."

"What? Why can't you tell me now?"

"Something about saying it messes up the future. I only really came here to enjoy myself and lessen the suffering of a few Gems while I'm at it. I can do that, it's not like any time is passing in the future while I'm here."

"So, are you still gonna teach me Gem Gliph or let me go on super secret missions with you?"

"Oh, sure, I can teach you some Gem Gliph. No biggie. As for missions,"

"Oh, here it comes,"

"I'll need to gauge how strong and in control of your powers you are, I can train you if you want, it's not really going to change much if I do."

"You'll train me?"

"Why not? No one knows how to use our powers more than I do."

This Steven 2 was nice, cocky and reminded him a little bit of his dad. The old 2 was sad, grumpy and protective, the only things these two Stevens have in common is how little they sleep.

He remembered what the other Steven 2 said to him when they met.

It was 12:01 A.M., Mr. Squeezy wasn't an adequate replacement for the moon goddess statue. He was shouting in frustration, "Are you serious?! The timing was off?" The bright pink of his flesh contrasted with the pitch black of his tee-shirt.

"Um, hi?"

"Oh, hi. Listen, we gotta bounce."

"Who are you?" Pearl inquired with a raised tone.

"Yeah, why do you look like an older version of Steven?"

"Because I am an older version of Steven?"

Stars gleamed in his eyes, "Another me?! Can we keep him?"

The other Steven frowned at him, "We don't have time, this place is coming down."

"We kept Amethyst." Pearl cackled at Garnet's comment.

"Stop it!" A dome of pink rhombuses encased us, protecting us from the debris.

After a moment, he let it drop when Steven's yellow raft surfaced. He let out a dry exhale, "Do any of us have a paddle?"

"No."

"Of course," he was very resigned into his fate.

He offered the stranger some food, food always cheered him up, "Does anyone want a wet bagel?"

"Sure, whatever." He had an expression on his face that read, 'what else do I have to lose?' To Steven, he just looked tired from using that power.

"It was really cool what you did back there."

"It's new."

"Can you teach me how to make myself all pink like you?" His eye twitched when he heard him.

He placed his hands on his shoulders, "You don't really want to discover that power in you, Steven, it's dangerous."

"But if I learn how to control it now, it won't be a problem later."

He raised an eyebrow, "Can you even summon your gem weapon yet?"

"N-no." He was working on it, he just didn't know how yet.

"When you can do that on command, I'll think about it." He was so cool, like a cranky Garnet.

Now he was gone, replaced with someone clearly more put together than he was, but still. He couldn't help himself from missing the guy. Tears fell down his cheeks.

"Hey, hey, kiddo? You alright?" He hugged the new 2, crying into his jacket. 2's jacket.

--------------

@sutimetravelau Check this out.

@space-is-the-place2

[beecherdrysdale]

Hehe ya I’m not the biggest fan but if I get really hyped up it’s kinda fun. Plus I did t really feel like doing leg day so I rescheduled that for tmr!!

Hot guy alert- everybody look!! Good tactic brigid lol. Got us in to help distract. We love you!! We would be so chaotic. Awww yes we love some team hand holding but acting like it isn’t happening. I don’t think quinner can feel his hand after this meet. Lol I’m sorry, but good thing imma make it up to you;) a hot makeout comin your ways lmao. Brigids busy doin other stuff w dyl and Jamie 😏😉. Oo thank you for the tip!! I didn’t know that it got hot during swim meets. I usually wear tanks or shirts underneath lol. I’m always to afraid to wear without. Hehe Dylan’s face in my hoodie and he’s like “I can’t look, did she win, is she swimming, why are they blowing the whistle” I’m just there to reassure him it’s a good distraction so that I don’t get to nervous lol. Team trample is happening, we would all fall down and that would be bad.

Brigid the chips, I’m sorry they will just be happening constantly like Ryan and I held off for many hours but that’s all we can handle lol. Aww Dylan and Jamie taking care of you, I love that!!. I’ll make sure they buy you some squeezy applesauce and some for myself cuz I wanna try. Wait seriously , you like green bananas?.

Ooo that’s a cool jersey brigid!! You would probably start yelling at everybody during the game lol.

Haha me crying during my match is like the funniest thing. People always think that if you cry something hurts but nothing hurts I just saw the best people!! Kesh, I’m excited you are excited !! I hope you enjoy. Lmao I’d probably also fling my resistance band at Ryan hehe. Ya that driving test was awful but I passed sooo:))) I can’t wait for you to pass your test. Oh for sure I would start laughing if I made eye contact w you. I’d probably get a warning tho lol. I’m sorry every time I read Ryan getting hit by a ball and you dying of laughter I just lose it. It’s so funny. Like Jamie is like omg omg she’s out of breath, why is she laughing so hard. Hehe brigid I can just see you yelling at me and being mildly stressed.

Y’all I just wanna go to Coachella !! Wtf I need to go now w you kesh and the team lol. Yaaa Dylan’s feeling special atm, Jamie is literally just glaring at the two of you for 30 mins straight. Dylan has some under appreciated hair so you play w it. Hehe yes braden was just being nice and Quinners mad because he was too late lol . Yes shoulder buddies! Kesh is just having the most chill time w Kirby. She’s just enjoying the music. I knowwww Jamie coming up and wrapping his arms around your waist and putting his chin on your shoulder is 🥺🥺 and swaying omg this is to cute. The kissing under the fireworks is just amazing. I want that to happen. Oo yes matching Dutch braids would be so cute, I might add a ribbon to be braided in or something lol. Or get ones of those hair charms like beads, mini stars to braid in hehe. water is a must and sunscreen!!

Kesh I’ve read until Greece! I love it! I’m excited to reply 💗 some airport ideas coming your way.

Xo Lexi.

Anonymous said:

Ooo I just saw keshs post about Coachella and sports so imma add a bit,

First - hehe yes we are super hype, and yes I am glad to be anywhere w you !!

Hehe thank you, it was a hectic day lol.

Lmao um guys does anybody have an ice pack?

Hehe yes Dylan is handsy but i think Brigid is enjoying it ?!.

Hmmm maybe Ryan and Braden find some girls but I don’t think we can last that long without chirping hehe

- kesh I agree you do have the best shoulders in the sense that Kirby is 6’4 and broad lol. You lucky gal.

Ok yes to all the insta pics!!! Ok we are matching again and I love it 🥰

Kesh thank you for replying !! Imma write about Greece, sports, Coachella and the road trip tmr!!

lmao i love that. i can never push off my workouts bc i just have to do what my coach makes me lol. but anyways another long post

hehe yep, i’ll get all the other girls out of their zone by pointing out the hot guys in the stands who may or may not have come with me lol. and then you guys will just be so chaotic up there and you’re all squeezing each other’s hands so hard but not admitting it lmao. haha yeah i don’t think quinner can feel his hand but once he realizes you’re gonna make it up to him he doesn’t care😏 haha maybe i am busy later😏😉 don’t tell kesh tho lol. haha yes it gets really hot unless you’re wet and then you’re freezing. so then dyl’s using you’re hoodie and refusing to look and asking you what’s happening every 5 seconds, so then you have to keep reassuring him. but i could also see you messing with him and saying i’m doing really bad when i’m actually winning just to see his reaction lmao. haha team trample at the end and we all end up on the ground, i stg if my suit rips y’all are paying for it

lmao as soon as i’m done you and ryan are chirping me bc you’ve held off way too long. maybe i’ll make dyl and jamie make you shut up if you annoy me too much lmao. but yes dyl and jamie taking care of me and helping me get ready for my race🥺 haha you would probably end up having to go with them to get the applesauce so they don’t get lost lmao. yes, ik i’m a weirdo but i can’t stand mushy bananas, i only like them when they’re super firm and green

hehe thank you! i love my o’c jersey. haha yes i would be yelling sm and i would be cheering for the US. we’d have to see what the guys had to say about that lmao. don’t think dyl and jamie would appreciate it very much, but you got to do what you got to do

lmao yes everyone would be so confused, and you would just be like no i’m fine i’m just happy they’re here. haha i can just see you hitting ryan with your resistance band and he tries to come after you, so then we have to keep him away from you so you can finish your warm-ups lmao. haha yes honestly i’ll start laughing too if we make eye contact. wait you could get a warning from laughing? that’s bad but also kind of funny lmao. haha yes now i really want to see ryan get hit in the face with the ball just to see the chaos ensue. and jamie is just simultaneously trying to make me drink water bc i’m just choking and being like ummmm i think ryan might need an icepack. and he’s like what is wrong with brigid bc it should not have been that funny but he can’t worry about it too much bc he’s worried about ryan and he’s trying to find an icepack somewhere. haha yes i’ll just be yelling at you sorry

yessss we have to go to coachella with everyone now. hehe yes dyl is getting handsy and i’m enjoying it, but jamie is getting super jealous and i don’t even realize lol (i’m sorry jamie ily). oooh yes, i get to play with dyl’s hair while i’m sitting on his shoulders. honestly he has really nice hair. hehe yes quinner is jealous that you’re sitting on braden’s shoulders, but it’s only bc braden offerred first. but then you get on my shoulder and ryan and braden wander off to find some girls lol. and then kesh is just chilling with kirby, and i’ll admit that she does have the best shoulders bc kirby is so broad. omg i need this now, jamie just coming up behind me and we’re swaying together to the music🥺 and we would all get our kisses under the fireworks from our men. oooh yes charms to braid into our hair would look so cool, and we could have all the best matching insta pics together. and ofc we need sunscreen and water

i’m excited to see all your replies!

[zackmartin]

Danger on Deck - Chapter 2

Also on ao3 and ff.net! 

[Previous] | [Masterlist] | [Next]

Rating: T 

Warnings: There’s a mention of Henry’s injury from chapter 1, but that’s all I really know of. If there’s anything any of you need me to warn for in the future, please don’t hesitate to let me know!  I believe most of the warnings will be for language, minor violence (like I might include a fight scene, but it’d be a classic Henry Danger fight scene, meaning nothing too graphic or anything) and there is underage drinking and a mention of underage drug use in future chapters (I mean weed, nothing hardcore laskdjf also I don’t include the actual usage, it’s just mentioned) but there will be warnings on those particular chapters. I’m changing the story somewhat as I go, but whatever happens, the rating will remain at T/PG-13.

Word Count: 4992

A/N: I feel like this chapter is really boring, I’m sorry lskdf. There’s a lot a have to establish before I get into the heart of it, so I appreciate everyone bearing with me! It gets better. When I originally started this, I wanted the POV to change between Henry and Zack every chapter, but there’s a lot of stuff I need to establish in the beginning from Henry’s POV so whenever I switch between the two I just used some ****. Hopefully I can balance it out later, but for now it’s going to be from Henry’s POV more than Zack’s.

Tag List: I’m not going to retag everyone, but if anyone new wants to be added to the tag list, please let me know! 

After Zack left Henry in the infirmary, he practically sprinted to his cabin to change into his uniform before making his way back to the Sky Deck to start his shift at Easy Squeezy. Once there, he found his very angry coworker manning the counter in his absence.

“Zack, your shift started forty-five minutes ago! I have to stay at the counter until you get here, and do you really think I want to spend my off time filling out drink orders?!” he seethed. Zack resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Tom...there’s no one even here,” he refuted as he gestured to the completely empty smoothie bar. While the Sky Deck was packed with new and returning students along with their parents, most of them were busy waiting in line to get their room assignments, or catching up with classmates they hadn’t seen over the summer, so the juice bar was entirely deserted. Tom pursed his lips as he started to remove his apron, moving out from behind the counter as he did so.

“Still,” he stated, a little more calmly now, “You’re just lucky I didn’t tell Mr. Moseby.”

Zack turned his back to him and scoffed as he started clearing empty smoothie cups off the counter.

“As if I’m afraid of Mr. Moseby,” he sneered with a smirk. He turned around and jumped when he saw a very serious Moseby standing not one inch from his face. Tom stood behind Moseby and just gave Zack an arrogant smile before walking away.

“You should be,” Mr. Moseby asserted as he glared at Zack. “Lucky for you, I have more pressing matters to attend to at the moment besides reprimanding you for being late again. Have you seen your brother?”

“Not since this morning,” Zack answered as he put the smoothie cups into a bin for dirty dishes under the counter and picked up a dishtowel, “What do you need him for?”

“I wanted to see if maybe he could get this thing to work,” Moseby replied as he held up a black tablet with a glitchy screen.

“Here, let me see it,” Zack said, tossing the dishtowel to the side as he grabbed the tablet from Moseby’s hands. Moseby tried to protest, but Zack was already slamming the tablet down on the counter, much to Moseby’s dismay. After a second, the tablet’s screen stopped glitching and faded to black.

“Well, that’s all I know to do,” Zack said with a shrug as he carelessly tossed the tablet back to a now very frazzled Mr. Moseby. Moseby scowled at him, but Zack was unfazed as he picked up the dish towel again and started wiping down the counter.

“What’s that for, anyways?” he inquired, jutting his chin towards the tablet.

“It’s what you’re supposed to use to take orders and payments now, but neither Tom nor I have been able to get it to work all morning.”

Zack paused, shooting a clueless look to Moseby, prompting him to explain further.

Arwin automated the whole ship…” he continued, but Zack held up a hand to stop him, cutting him off.

“You don’t have to say anymore.”

“Exactly. So, if you see Cody will you tell I’m looking for him?”

“You got it, chief,” Zack declared as he returned to his task of wiping down the counter. Moseby nodded in response before beginning to walk away, just as London rushed up to the counter. Before Zack could even open his mouth to say hello, she was talking excitedly at him.

“Zack! Did you seriously break someone’s nose this morning?” she questioned as she sat down. Moseby quickly wheeled back around.

“Hello to you too, London,” Zack responded sarcastically.

“You did WHAT?!” Moseby exclaimed, his eyes practically bugging out of his head. Zack winced a little.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds! I didn’t break it, it’s just...bruised,” he answered softly. London looked visibly disappointed while Moseby just glowered at Zack once more.

“You injured another student?!”

Zack grimaced.

“’Injured’ is a little dramatic. He’s okay!” he replied hastily. Moseby stared at him, now clearly exasperated.

“Zack, it’s the first week of school. Classes haven’t even started yet. Can you please try to stay out of trouble? Just for a little while?” he begged, his voice low.

“Fat chance of that one,” Zack thought to himself.

“Yeah, yeah,” he answered, dismissively waving the cloth in the older man’s direction before resuming his work. Moseby continued to watch him with a pleading expression, and Zack exhaled sharply, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I promise,” he said in a defeated tone. Both of them knew deep down that he was lying, but they also knew that arguing any further would be futile. Moseby scowled at Zack for a beat longer before he finally started away from them again. Zack watched him disappear off the Sky Deck before he tossed the dishtowel aside and turned his attention to London.

“So, do I get a hug or a ‘nice to see you again, Zack’ or anything?” he asked, moving out from behind the counter and putting his arms out in case she decided to accept his offer. London playfully rolled her eyes and grinned as she stood up.

“I suppose,” she teased, putting her arms around him. “It is nice to see you again,” she said sincerely, “but I did see you just two weeks ago. We do live in the same hotel. Remember?”

“I know. But, that was two weeks ago, before you decided to jet off to Paris again,” he said, his arms still wrapped around her. As the pair let go, a familiar head of curly black hair approached the counter.

“London! Welcome back!” Woody announced as he pulled her into a tight hug. 

Woody had come aboard a few days before and was therefore already reacquainted with Zack and Cody.

“Hey, Woody,” London responded, returning his hug. Once they let go, Woody turned his attention to Zack.

“So, are the rumors true? Did you really break that poor kid’s nose this morning?” he questioned. Zack rolled his eyes.

“No! It’s just bruised. And what do you mean ‘rumors’?”

“Dude, it’s like, all over the school already,” Woody responded and Zack exhaled sharply.

“Seriously?! Man, why is everyone placing all the blame on me? You’re the one that threw the football! Thanks for bailing on me after that, by the way,” Zack grumbled, gesturing to his friend. Woody threw his hands up in defense.

“Hey, just because you were going down doesn’t mean I had to go down with you. Besides, you didn’t have to elbow the guy in the face in order to catch it.”

Zack shot him a look but didn’t respond. Just then, their other friend, Bailey, made her way over to the group, and like Woody, she had come on board a few days before and had said hello to London when they had met in their shared room earlier that morning.

“Zack, did you really-” she started, but Zack cut her off.

“It’s just bruised!” he cried before she could finish, throwing his arms up in exasperation. As if on cue, Henry started strolling across the deck next to them, an ice pack pressed to his nose as he made his way over to his friends. “Look, see! He’s fine! It’s barely even a bruise,” Zack announced, gesturing to Henry, although thanks to the ice pack, they couldn’t really see much. “Hey, Swellview! How do you feel?” he called after him.

“Like someone elbowed me in the face,” he called back without looking, his tone biting. Woody, Bailey, and London exchanged amused glances before watching Henry make his way across the deck again.

“What did you just call him?” Bailey inquired, breaking her concentration from Henry to look at Zack.

“Swellview. That’s where he’s from,” Zack answered. Bailey snickered.

“That doesn’t sound like a real place,” she scoffed. Zack furrowed his eyebrows.

“You’re from Kettlecorn,” he pointed out. Bailey opened her mouth to respond but paused for a moment, clearly trying to come up with a rebuttal. 

“Fair enough,” she said finally, turning her attention to the new kid again.

As all this occurred, Mr. Moseby and Cody approached the counter, and Zack caught the end of Moseby’s sentence.

“So, maybe you could take a look at it? See if you can get anything to work?” Moseby asked hopefully. Cody smiled at him as he took the now dead tablet from him.

“Not a problem,” he responded, turning it over in his hands as he examined it for a beat. Moseby grinned at him, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

“Thank you,” he replied before he started tending to the guests on the Sky Deck. Cody turned his attention to his friends now, giving them a quick hello.

“What are we looking at?” he questioned, scanning the Sky Deck.

“I was just showing everyone that Henry is fine,” Zack answered, gesturing to Henry, who was now standing on the other side of the deck near the railing with the girl Zack and Cody had met earlier that morning, Charlotte? (Zack made a quick mental note to try to talk to later because boy, was she pretty) along with the two older men Zack never got the names of. The group kept their attention on Henry for a moment, and after a second he turned to look at them, his face twisted in confusion when he noticed they were all gawking at him.

“Alright, you already gave him a nosebleed, let’s not freak him out by continuing to stare at him,” Cody mentioned, clearly also taking note of the puzzled and slightly agitated look on Henry’s face. The majority of them swiftly looked away then, while Cody mouthed out a “Sorry,” followed by a sheepish grin, and Henry immediately smiled. As Zack watched the interaction unfold, a strange sensation started forming in the pit of his stomach but he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

It almost looked as if Henry was...blushing? But, Zack decided it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. 

Still, he couldn’t help but notice Henry periodically stealing glances in their direction, and Zack was almost positive that he was looking right at Cody.

“But why would he be doing that?” he wondered to himself. He speculated for a second that maybe Henry was actually checking out London or Bailey, and maybe from the angle they were both standing it only seemed like he was looking at Cody.

But, somehow that thought didn’t make the strange sensation in the pit of his stomach feel any better.

Henry only eventually stopped looking over at them once his other friend from earlier that morning rejoined their group.

“Zack!” he heard someone exclaim behind him, and he turned to see Moseby standing at the counter, gesturing wildly to a few guests that had sat down and were impatiently waiting for someone to come fill their orders. Zack exhaled sharply.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” he responded with a dismissive wave of his hand, and he was sure he saw Moseby start actually fuming out of the corner of his eye. He said his goodbyes to his friends before making his way over to the guests to begin taking orders.

****** After Henry watched Zack take off in order to start his shift, he started out of the infirmary in order to find his way back to the Sky Deck to meet up with coworkers once more. The nurse had provided him with some over-the-counter pain medication to take as well as a disposable ice pack to put on his nose on the way out, and he thanked her as he gently placed it on his face, hissing at the slight pain that shot through him on contact.

It took him a little longer to find his way back; he hadn’t been paying much attention to where they were going when Zack had escorted him down there. Lucky for him, there were signs plastered up everywhere, and those, along with the map Jasper had sent him via text, was able to lead him back.

Once he got there, he saw Zack standing near the Easy Squeezy juice counter in his work uniform, a green polo shirt, khaki shorts, and a navy blue apron tied around his waist. He was with a few other kids Henry didn’t recognize.

“Hey, Swellview! How do you feel?” he heard Zack call after him as he walked past their group.

“Like someone elbowed me in the face,” he shot back without looking at him. He felt a twinge of guilt over his sharp tone, but considering his head was throbbing and he still felt uncomfortably sticky from the smoothies that had spilled all over him earlier, that guilty feeling was fleeting. He spotted Ray, Charlotte, and Schwoz on the other side of the deck and he made his way over to them.

“Hey! How’s your nose?” Charlotte questioned as he approached, concern dripping from her voice as she instinctively reached out to him, stopping just short of his face.

“It’s okay. It’s not broken, luckily. Just bruised. Where’s Jasper?” he asked as he glanced around the Sky Deck, trying to spot their other friend. 

“He just went to put your stuff in your room. You guys are roommates,” Charlotte responded, shoving her hands into the front pockets of her jeans.

“Yeah, he texted me about that. He didn't tell you what our room number is, did he? I really want to go change and get this smoothie off of me,” Henry said, running his free hand through his hair and grimacing at the sticky sensation he felt on contact. Charlotte just shook her head in response.

Henry got an uneasy feeling then that someone was watching him, and he quickly glanced around to see that Zack, Cody, and their three friends were still watching him. His face twisted in confusion and he felt his irritation grow as he tried to figure out why they were all staring at him. He saw Cody say something, although he couldn’t work out what, before they all hastily looked away again, save for Cody, who gave Henry a sheepish smile as he mouthed the word “sorry.” Henry felt his annoyance slip away, his heart-rate speeding up and the corners of his lips tugging upwards into a grin, as the two of them shared a look. After that, he kept sneaking a few glances over to Cody, and he was sure that Zack had noticed but he didn’t care. He finally stopped when Jasper rejoined the group. Before Jasper could even say hello, they heard an announcement ring out over the loudspeaker, “All ashore that’s going ashore.”

“Well, I guess that’s it for us,” Ray declared, gesturing between him and Schwoz, “You guys figure out who the hacker is and you call us. Don’t do anything without me. We don’t know how dangerous this guy is,” he warned.

“Why are you assuming it’s a guy?” Charlotte shot back. Ray just rolled his eyes but didn’t respond. The group fell silent as they watched each other in a slightly uncomfortable silence for a beat. Finally, Henry and Ray said goodbye and gave each other an awkward quick half-hug. Jasper threw his arms around Ray, much to Ray’s dismay, but he returned the hug after a second before they both said their goodbyes. Once Ray got to Charlotte, they both watched each other awkwardly before deciding on a goodbye high-five.

Schwoz was a lot less shy than Ray was, and he gave each of the kids a big bear hug as he choked back a few stray tears.

“Remember, as soon as you find anything out you call me,” Ray reiterated to Henry one last time. Henry nodded in agreement, and with a final wave goodbye, Ray and Schwoz were making their way back to shore.

Henry turned to Jasper then, but before he could ask for their room number, Jasper’s eyes were wide and he was hitting Henry’s arm excitedly, practically bouncing on his heels.

“Henry! Henry! Do you know who that is?!” he nearly shouted.

Henry was taken aback by Jasper’s sudden outburst, and after a second he removed the ice pack from his nose so he could use both hands to grab onto his friend in an effort to get him to stop hitting him.

“Who?” Henry interrogated, his tone mildly agitated as he followed Jasper’s gaze to the group Zack and Cody had been standing with just moments ago, although now both of them were at the juice counter, with Zack filling out orders and Cody fiddling with some type of electronic, so it was just a curly-haired boy and two girls.

“The girl!” Jasper exclaimed, gesturing wildly to the remaining trio.

“Which girl? There’s two of them,” Henry replied, puzzled. Jasper exhaled sharply with a roll of his eyes as he looked to Charlotte. “Charlotte?” he said, his tone indicating that he was hopeful maybe she knew who he was talking about, but she just shrugged. “That’s London Tipton!” he declared as he looked between his two best friends, obviously waiting for them to have some type of reaction, but they just stared at him, perplexed. “Hello? What boat are we on?!” he continued, gesturing excitedly. Realization dawned on Charlotte and Henry’s faces then.

“So, she owns the boat...” Charlotte commented, her statement sounding more like a question as she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Well, her dad does. But, it’s not even that. Haven’t you guys ever seen her web show? ‘Yay, me! Starring London Tipton’?”

Charlotte and Henry shared a confused glance and a shrug and Jasper rolled his eyes again.

“Yay, me! London Tipton!” he echoed as if repeating her name would suddenly give them knowledge of who she is. Jasper’s last proclamation got the attention of the brunette girl in a sparkly outfit that had been standing with the twins before. She looked at Jasper curiously as she made her way over to them. Jasper’s eyes went wide and he moved behind Henry slightly as she approached.

“Do I know you?” she inquired once she reached them, cocking her head to the side as she studied them. Jasper just stared at her, obviously unable to form coherent sentences as she waited for a response.

“No, you don’t. This is my friend, Jasper. He’s apparently seen your web show,” Henry responded for him, pulling a reluctant Jasper out from behind him as he pushed him closer to London. London smiled then as she looked at Jasper.

“You have?” she asked excitedly. Jasper grinned sheepishly as he met her gaze. “Yeah! I’ve seen every episode!” he answered eagerly. Charlotte and Henry shared an amused look over their overenthusiastic friend, while London watched him for a second.

“I like you,” she stated finally, “I was just about to go to the boutique to get some new clothes. Come with me and tell me how pretty I look!” she declared, grabbing Jasper by the collar and not really giving him the option to say no as she started dragging him away, although given by the look on his face, he didn’t mind much. The remaining two chuckled as they watched their friend being yanked across the Sky Deck. Henry’s amused smile faded suddenly as he realized he still didn’t know what room number he was in, and he really didn’t want to wait any longer to get the smoothie off of him.

“Wait, Jasper! I need our room number!” he called after them, but they were already out of earshot. Henry started across the deck after them, turning to Charlotte as he went. “I’ll catch up with you in a little while!” he said to her before he started off after the pair once more.

---

A few hours later, Henry had showered and changed and was now standing in his cabin with his suitcase open on his bed, although he wasn’t really unpacking it as much as he was just thinking about unpacking it.

Unpacking it meant staying, and staying was the last thing he wanted to do.

He heard a knock at the door, and he quickly zipped his still full suitcase back up and haphazardly threw it in the closet, shutting it before going to answer the door. He found Cody on the other side of it, holding another disposable ice pack.

“Hey! I brought this for you. Just in case,” he said, awkwardly reaching out to hand Henry the ice pack. Henry smiled as he took it. The pain medication had taken away his headache, and his nose was down to a dull ache now, so he wasn’t really sure he needed the ice anymore, but Cody had been nice enough to bring it to him.

“Thanks,” he said, pressing the ice to his face.

“How’s it feeling, by the way?” Cody inquired, gesturing towards Henry’s injury.

“It’s not so bad now. The headache is gone, at least,” Henry responded, and Cody smiled a little at that. They fell into an awkward silence for a beat . “How’d you know where to find me? I don’t remember passing you in the hall yet…” Henry started, “Did I tell you my room number and I just forgot? Maybe Zack hit me harder than I thought,” he finished, that last part more to himself than Cody. Cody grinned sheepishly as he glanced down at the floor for a moment.

“Zack kinda...hacked into Moseby’s computer and found your room number for me.”

Henry furrowed his eyebrows, and Cody shoved his hands into his front jeans pockets.

“And, now that I’m saying that out loud, it sounds kinda stalkerish,” he added, meeting Henry’s gaze, causing Henry’s heart to skip a beat as he grinned, but his smile faded after he truly registered what Cody had said.  

Did he say “hack”?

“Say that again?” Henry said. He was certain he had heard Cody say “hack” but he wanted to be entirely sure before he jumped to any conclusions. Cody’s eyes went wide as he put his hands out in front of him.

“I didn’t ask him to hack into Moseby’s computer in order to find your room number! It wasn’t like that. He was already doing it; he does it every year. He reassigns anyone that’s assigned to his room so that he's able to keep the room to himself. Surprisingly, no one has figured it out yet,” Cody explained hastily.

“Right,” Henry mumbled, still stuck on the part where Zack had hacked into a computer. He thought about going to tell Charlotte this, but he was enjoying talking to Cody, even if he was only half-listening to what he was saying at the present moment.

“So, usually after my friends and I get back on the boat we have dinner together; we were going to do it tonight, but Moseby’s got me working on the ship’s new computer system and I can pretty much guarantee that I won’t be done in time...” Cody began again, snapping Henry out of his train of thought as he met Cody’s gaze.

“Why do you say that?” he interjected.

“Well...our friend Arwin, from the hotel- Zack mentioned he told you about the hotel?”

Henry nodded in response.

“He was the maintenance guy there, he automated the whole ship, and if you knew him, you would know what a huge mistake that was,” Cody explained. Henry chuckled.

“I think I know what you mean,” he replied with a grin. Cody smiled.

“Anyway, I was wondering if you and your friends wanted to join us? For the dinner tomorrow, I mean.”

“I don’t want to crash your dinner with your friends…” Henry responded, although deep down he didn’t really mean it. He was excited at the thought of getting to have dinner with his new crush.

“You wouldn’t be crashing! It’ll be fun,” Cody insisted with a grin, and Henry was finding it hard to resist those baby blues.

“Okay. Sure,” he replied, and Cody’s smile grew.

“Great!” he said as he pulled his phone out of pocket, “why don’t you put your number in and I’ll text you the place to meet us once I find out exactly where that is. Well, if I get cell reception that is. You’d be surprised how quickly we lose contact once we leave port.”

Henry nodded, taking Cody’s phone and keying in his name and number before handing it back. Cody looked down at his phone for a second and smiled, seemingly satisfied before he slipped it back into his jeans.

“I guess if I don’t have reception, I know where to find you.”

Henry secretly hoped then that they did lose reception just so Cody would have an excuse to visit him again.

“I’ll let you know the time and place and everything when we work out the details,” he said as he started to back up into the hallway. Henry nodded in response. “I’ll see you and your friends tomorrow night. You know, if I don’t see you before then,” he finished, giving a quick wave goodbye before he started down the hall once more.

“Wait, hold up!” Henry called after him. Cody stopped, turning on his heel to look at him once more. “Yeah?”

“This is probably a dumb question, but is Zack going to be there?” Henry asked, unable to hide the hint of contempt in his voice. Cody let out an airy laugh.

“Actually, no. He’s got other plans. He’s going to dinner with our other friend, London. They do that once a month. Nobody else is invited. We don’t know what they do or talk about but,” Cody responded with a shrug as he turned to leave. Henry contemplated Cody’s words for a beat.

“Do you think maybe he’s secretly dating London and they just don’t want the rest of you to know about it?” he inquired. Cody stopped dead in his tracks, his back still to Henry. He remained frozen in place for a second before he slowly turned to face Henry, a curious expression on his face. “I didn’t until now,” he said slowly. Henry could tell by the look on his face that he was actively trying to figure out if what Henry suggested could be at all true. His expression softened for a moment as he smiled.

“No, they wouldn’t. London’s older than us, so it'd be kinda weird if...well, I guess it wouldn’t be that weird now that we’re older... But, it’s not possible. We’ve known London forever. Unless…” he rambled, his face turning serious once more. Henry then watched as Cody flip-flopped between believing the notion was completely bogus to seriously contemplating it again as he mumbled to himself.

“It was just a thought,” Henry interjected after a while, and Cody seemed to snap out of his thoughts as he met Henry’s gaze.

“Right. I’ll just... talk to Zack about it later. I’ll see you,” he said, and with a quick wave goodbye, he started off down the hall.

After Henry watched Cody disappear around the corner, he made his way down to the deck where the girls’ rooms were located. After a second of searching, he found Piper’s room, and he knocked on the doorframe of the open door of her cabin. Piper looked up from her open suitcase that was sitting half-empty on the bed closest to the door. Sitting at the desk on the opposite side of the room was a dark-haired girl around Piper’s age that Henry assumed was her new roommate. From the looks of it, she was already completely unpacked and moved into their new cabin.

“Hey, what’s up?” Piper asked as she went back to unpacking.

“I’m kinda hungry, so I was going to see if I can find Charlotte and Jasp and maybe get some food. You wanna come? Your new roommate can come too…” Henry suggested, gesturing to the girl sitting on the opposite side of the room.

“No, thanks. I really want to finish unpacking and getting all moved in,” Piper responded without looking up from her suitcase, excitement dripping from her voice. Henry felt a twinge of guilt then. He was hopeful that they wouldn’t have to stay on the boat long, but he didn’t think about how this would impact his little sister, who wouldn’t really have a clue as to why they would be leaving so soon. “Besides, Mara and I have plans later. By the way, Mara, this is my older brother, Henry. Hen, this is my roommate, Mara,” Piper said, gesturing to the both of them respectively. Henry nodded to the other girl and she gave Henry a sweet smile.

“Thanks for the invite, but no thanks. I have...other plans in mind,” Mara replied an air of mystery to her voice. Henry furrowed his eyebrows for a second as he looked up at her, her thick, dark-rimmed glasses reflecting some of the light from the open porthole. The way she said that made him feel a bit uneasy, but he decided not to press the issue.

“Uhhh...okay. No problem, then,” he responded. Piper smiled at him as the three of them remained silent for a beat.

“Was there anything else?” Piper questioned after a moment, a hint of irritation in her voice.

“No, that was it,” Henry said as he stood up straight again, “Just...be safe. Stay out of trouble. You know the rules.”

Piper rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. Henry looked at her with a serious expression and she grinned.

“I got it. I’ll see you later,” she responded as she made her way to the door. Before he could even say goodbye, she was shutting the door in his face.

“Later,” he said to no in particular, before he went to go search for his two friends.

[birdkoskincare]

hi! i’m going travelling next month and my skin always get super dry and sometimes breaks out when i fly. have you got any tips and tricks to prevent this? i thought about getting a sheet mask but idk what would be a good one.. thanks :)

hey! sorry if this is too late to be of use to your trip (my inbox was absolutely swamped during the winter holidays), but if that’s the case i hope you had a great time and that it still can be of use in the future, or to someone else! because i live in the islands but study in mainland portugal - and now with my erasmus all the way across europe, in lithuania - last year i took some 24 to 26 flights, to the best of my recollection, so i’m quite familiar with the sensation of post-plane breakouts and dehydration. here are my tips!

🛫 a guide to in-flight skincare! 🛬

while all the influencers love talking about how they do a full 10-step routine even in a 30min flight, the truth is you don’t have to do that, and in fact it can make matters worse by irritating your skin and/or transferring bacteria from rather dirty plane surfaces to your face if you’re not careful.

first things first, use hand sanitizer before you start touching your face aboard the plane!

i prefer to not wear too much makeup during flights, but oddly enough sometimes a layer of a good, glowy foundation seems to protect my skin from the AC better than my regular moisturizer. this, of course, may not be practical in long-haul flights or if you’re used to being fresh-faced.

if you go for the fresh-faced route, as i often do, be sure to do your full routine before you leave for the airport. It may be tempting to slather on an extra thick moisturizer, but we’re playing the long game here. the atmospheric changes, travel stress and other factors in planes can leave you more prone to breakouts, so put on your usual amount and make sure your skin absorbs it comfortably.

when you’re already on board, you can use a sheet mask; some people really enjoy them, but even on firm land they sometimes break me out and there’s the potential to be messy. an alternative: face mists! the spray system means you’ll be touching your face less, and they offer a light layer of hydration to counteract the very dry air inside the cabin. whether you go for a sheet mask or a mist, choose one you’ve tried before and you know you don’t react poorly to!

don’t forget chapstick! if you’re very prone to chapped lips, a lip mask may be a good idea. i would opt for ones in squeezy tubes rather than those hydrogel lip-shaped sheets, since those go over onto your skin and can trigger a breakout. heavier lip balms will also do the job of keeping moisture in just fine.

drink a lot of water, never pass up on the drinks they offer during meal service - or better yet, after security check refill your water bottle. avoid sugary or overly caffeinated things; sugar spikes can trigger breakouts, and coffee has a dehydrating effect. if you must have caffeine, opt for black tea instead.

on longer flights, you’ll want to get some sleep. those U-shaped neck pillows can help with that while ensuring your face isn’t touching any icky surfaces.

if you have long hair, keep it tied back from your face.

as soon as you can after the flight, cleanse and tone your face and apply moisturizer according to the needs of your skin at the moment; if you’re going to sleep and it still feels really dry and tight, a sleeping pack is not a bad idea. when i travel, i like my toner to contain gente exfoliating acids so that it helps combat breakouts. if you’re acne-prone, don’t forget to pack your spot treatment, too!

my in-flight skincare must-haves: hand sanitizer; face mist (or sheet mask); intensive lip balm; neck pillow; hair tie; refillable water bottle

also in my travel skincare kit: makeup remover balm; powder cleanser; AHA/BHA toner, moisturizer, sunscreen, spot treatment

[pkmnnovareset]

Can u request some headcanons about Tipha and her dads? Or headcanons about Daniel? If that’s okay!

I can do both! I’ll start w Tifa tho since I realized when writing, that this post got really long lmao

also it’s been like forever since I’ve talked about Tifa and her dads so I’m not sure if I’ll be accurate/consistent but I will try my best

Cilan and..... Clemont..? Yes, Clemont (see, already off to a bad start lmao) each teaches Tifa their like, specialties? Like, Cilan w cooking, Clemont w inventing stuff (which is what like got her into inventing more than cooking cuz she loves creating things that she came up)

OH ALSO OK I DEFS REMEMBERED THIS ONE but y’all remember how Tifa would be so hyperfocused on her work that she’d often accidentally grab a can of oil she mistakenly thought was her juice/drink (she never ended up drinking oil so don’t worry), well, ONE time when she and Clemont were working on a big project, Tifa was hella hyperfocused and just immersed. Cilan brought both of them some snacks and drinks. Clemont was taking a snack break but Tifa was still working and he’s just proud that his daughter’s following in his footsteps and all and suddENLY SHE REACHES FOR HER OIL CAN THINKING IT WAS HER DRINK (her drink was next to her oil can too so like... can’t really blame her) AND CLEMONT JUST ABOUT FREAKS OUT WHEN HE SEES HER BRING THE OIL CAN TO HER LIPS “TIFA STOP!11!11!!1!1! THAT’S AN OIL CAN” and Tifa’s like “oh whoops lmao” and puts it down and gets her ACTUAL drink this time. Cilan heard this whole thing and rushed in and Clemont tells him what happened and since then they had to keep an eye out on Tifa when she works.

One time Cilan taught Tifa how to make lemon meringue pie (hint hint nudge nudge name of ship Tifa is created from teehee) and whooo man it was a disaster. Cooking or well baking really, was just not her thing at all. But that’s okay, like she can do the basics? like banana muffins? no problem. Chocolate chip cookies that you buy from the super store and all you have to do is cut the tube and put that baby in the oven? Easy peasy lemon squeezy. But more complicated stuff? nah, she cannot do them.

When Tifa was super little like toddler little, Cilan and Clemont would take turns having to read her stories and tuck her in because Tifa REFUSES to sleep without being told a story. But not any story, a made up story. She loved listening to her dads make up stories to tell her every night. It really challenged their imagination and creativity since they had to switch it up a lot every night, but they managed to make her smile and happy and also sleep, so that’s important

Cilan and Clemont took the kids (the two kids of Cilan’s from previous marriage I DO not remember which two oh my gosh) to the outskirts of [location of where i decided they lived--i do not remember if I said they live in Kalos or Unova oh my god] to watch the meteor showers. Tifa was also pretty young still at this point, like maybe 10-11yrs old? LIke, not SUPER young, but she’s a kid. She has curfew lmao anyways, so they pitched up a tent cuz they were camping out as well and the three kids were just lying down and waiting to see the meteors. Tifa was counting every single star she saw up in the big night sky but kept losing count after 58 so she has to recount them all when they finally saw the meteor shower, Tifa was super groggy and sleepy (it’s past her bedtime!!!!!) but she jumped up and down and screamed w excitement bc WOW look at those pretty things in the sky!!!!! Clemont and Cilan were very grateful they chose to take the kids out that night.

Clemont tried to teach Tifa how to ride a bike but like... Clemont doesn’t know how to ride a bike... And Cilan doesn’t know how to ride a bike either.... So it was kind of a....... Mixed review lmao. Thankfully one of Cilan’s kids from prev marriage that stayed w him taught Tifa how to ride a bike. Cilan was kinda shook but the kid (I’m so sorry I do not remember I probably could look it up but it’s already too late i’m this late in the game) was like “lmao dad taught us all before” (Trip. Trip is the other dad)

Even tho cooking or baking is not Tifa’s specialties, she once tried to make her dads breakfast and uhm. It uh... Nope. Let’s just leave it there.

Tifa went to a French immersion school so she knows how to speak fluent French (or I guess technically it’d be Kalosian???) and would have conversations w Clemont in only French. It trips Cilan up so much bc he’s still learning French, but like he’s not a beginner beginner? Like just a level above beginner and below intermediate if that makes any sense at all.

[jungshookz]

beauty & the bookworm {librarian!namjoon}

→ pairing: kim namjoon x reader

→ genre: librarian!namjoon who’s a little nerdy a little dorky but we loVe it, university!au, y/n’s the brat this time around, fluff softer than clouds, a bit of heartwrenching angst :’(, BTS as in BIG TIME smU T

→ wordcount: 20.8k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me

→ note: okay first and foremost i apologize because this is wAY overdue! i started writing librarian!joon in october but i kept putting him off and it’s not what he deserves :-(( but the most important thing is that he’s here now and he’s ready to trip his way into your hearts!! also i finally gave one of my fics a title instead of just naming the au so we’re spicing things up for the new year! enjoy!! 

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or joonie or even jimin u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

you’ve always been the type of person to just go with the flow

whenever life throws an obstacle your way you somehow always aLways make it out alive

you always have a backup plan and you never worry about anything

because worrying gives you frowning wrinkles and you want your skin to remain smooth and beautiful

maybe it’s maybelline??? maybe it’s just not giving a fuCk

but this is the first time you’ve ever been… slightly concerned

you are in unfamiliar territory because you feel

…worried

and you don’t like this feeling at all

“i don’t know what to tell you, y/n. you’re failing three of your courses. you need extra credit.” your counsellor looks at you and then looks back down at his laptop where he has your transcript opened up

“okay! okay okay cool cool cool that’s fine” you clear your throat and nod quickly “extra credit is fine. no need to worry.”

“well, i wouldn’t say no need to worry. there’s definitely room for worry here.”

you thought you had the hang of this university thing but apparently not since jin just told you you’re failing three of your damn courses

kim seokjin - he graduated like two years ago and is your academic counsellor

he’s a pretty cool guy most of the time!! sometimes his dad jokes makes you want to slam your face into a wall but other than that he’s cool

and he’s always there to help you whenever you feel like you’re struggling

he’s a good counsellor but right now he’s being an awful counsellor and not even offering you an ouNCe of support

just kidding you’re just mad at yourself and you’re taking it out on literally anyone you see  

you lean forward a little to try and get a sneak peek of your transcript and jin shifts his laptop away

you huff and lean back against the plushy sofa chair “so… how am i supposed to get extra credit?” you inspect your nails uninterestedly because you’re supposed to be napping right now but obviouSly you’re not going to be able to catch some extra z’s today because of this stupid meeting about your stupid grades

“summer school is an option.”

just the thought of summer school makes you feel nauseous

you’re not going to spend two months writing a philosophy paper or studying for an exam when you could be on a beach somewhere or on a road trip with jimin and the others

thank u next bitch

“please tell me there’s something else. anything else??” you frown and slump against his desk and he lets out a sigh before rifling through some loose papers on his desk

“which prof do i have to go down on to get extra credit” you joke but the smile drops from your face when jin raises a disapproving brow at you  

“if you’re lucky, maybe you can find a part-time job on campus. usually you can get extra credit from doing things here! last i heard there was a position to be the school mascot!”

omg

yuck

having to jump around in a slightly damp and sewage-scented costume for two hours??

no thanks

jin can tell by your expression that that’s the last thing you want

“i hate to break it to you, y/n, but you can’t exactly be picky here. go to main hall where they stick up all those posters and job offers - maybe you’ll find something good! cheer up, hm?”

“yeah, yeah” you murmur and scratch the back of your head before standing up and swinging your bag over your shoulder

“oh, and y/n?”

“what?”

“maybe you should study instead of watching netflix all the time - you really have to boost your grades this term otherwise… y’know” he winces

‘y’know’ means you’re not going to frickin graduate

“…bye jin” you mutter and shut the door behind you before letting out a breath

well

that was a depressing conversation

jin didn’t even tell you a dad joke this time around

as you make your way to the main hall you can’t help but let out another sigh of disappointment

in high school you had eeeehhhhh average grades like you were kinda dumb but not thAt dumb

but you never expected yourself to faiL classes

you thought you were smarter than this!!! obviously not tho

you let out a huff as you stand in front of the bulletin board

there’s an overwhelming number of posters ranging from poetry sLAM competitions to math tutoring services and you don’t know where the heck to start

okay let’s see

what can we do

‘do you have school spirit? do you need extra credit? why not try being our adorable school masco-‘

“nope” you click your tongue and immediately look at the next poster

‘looking for a philosophy tutor for philosophy102’

philosophy is one of the classes you’re failing so maybe not that one either

‘looking for water girl/water boy for new school year! email coach bang for more details’

good god

the water girl??

that would be pathetic

that min yoongi tho

wOO you are definitely thirsty for him

but not thirsty enOugh because there’s no way you’re going to be known as the dang water girl

‘ocean expedition next summer? come to seashell city and explore the ancient legend of the mermaid… extra credit included!’

now thAt sounds cool

but next summer??? you’re not planning to still be here neXt summer

you’re running out of options here

the ones that you’ve seen just don’t sit well with you

the ones that seem okay are already all booked up

you raise a brow when you find a smaller note pinned under an obnoxiously neon pink ‘JOIN THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD’ poster

oh cute

it’s a picture of a book

‘booking for extra credit? there’s no one to blame but your-shelf if you let this job opportunity slip away! come to the library and check it out!’

you cringe in your soul and shake your head

a 60 year old grandpa definitely wrote this up

you take the note off the bulletin board and re-read it

urhghUAhfasj

are u really going 2 do this

you really gon spend most of your time at the library instead of, oh, i don’t know, literally anYTHING ELSE

“beggars can’t be choosers” you mumble to yourself

plus this option doesn’t seem like it needs a lot of skill so it should be easy-peasy lemon-squeezy

the extra credit will just fall right onto your lap                                  

but at the same time

you despise the library

it’s too quiet

you can’t eat or drink in there

it always smells like musty old books

everyone’s always hogging the charging ports

you can’t talk without someone giving you a dirty look because apParently you’re being too loud when you wereN’T EVEN being that loud

your stomach always rumbles in the library and you end up not studying because you’re too focused on wondering what you should get for dinner

the last time you were at the library you were only there because jimin wanted to get some studying done and he needed a study partner

but that was literally like last year

now if he wants a study partner you tell him ‘it’s mY way or the highway’ which means you force him to study at your dinky apartment

you purse your lips and read the note yet aGAin

it seems like this is the option that makes you want to rip your fingernails off the least

so

it’s the library i guess

*confetti*

“what’s the matter with you?” jimin pokes your cheek with his fork before digging into his spaghetti

you scowl and rub the dot of tomato sauce off your cheek

“i’m failing three of my classes” you mutter before slumping against the table “and now i have to work at the library everyday to get extra credit”

jimin shrugs

“at least you’re not failing all of your classes?”

“i’m taking four courses this semester. i’m failing three out of four classes.”

jimin pauses and purses his pillowy lips

“like i said…at least you’re not failing four out of four classes?” he offers through a mouthful of pasta

he swallows “plus the library isn’t all that bad! books are… books are like… cool”

“you’re not doing a very good job of making me feel better”

“well, i don’t wanna be that friend - but you kinda did this to yourself!!!! working at the library is a consequence of not doing well in class, y/n. i’m sorry to break it to you, but you gotta do what you gotta do. you’re not allowed to complain because you let this happen to yourself.” jimin sighs frustratedly because as much as he loves you it’s so iRRitating when you’re whining about problems that could’ve very easily been avoided

“ya i guess so” you mutter

yeah

it’ll be fine

becoming a librarian will be great

maybe you’ll absorb the information from all the books that you’ll be hanging around with all day and become smart enough to graduate and not need the extra credit

jimin jumps when you let out a groan and smack your head against the table in defeat

life is really kicking your ass right now and is showing absolutely no mercy

“you want me to go in with you and drop you off at the counter?” jimin smiles sweetly and you shake your head and slip your arm from his

“this is a battle i’m going to have to face alone.” you shake a fist in front of you

“go on, my brave warrior.” jimin says dramatically before nodding “i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you let out a sigh before pushing the doors open and letting yourself in

you see a couple people sitting here studying

it is exam season after all

speaking of exam season u should probably start studying

you don’t remember the last time you were at the library

you came in once because you needed to pee really bad and this was where the nearest washroom was

also why is it so biG

there’s nobody at the front counter so you assume the guy went to the back because there’s like another room behind the desk

you whistle a tune to yourself as you lean against the counter and scroll through your phone

you’re blissfully unaware of the many people who are glaring at you because of your awful whistling

it’s when you get a (very rude) ’shh!’ that you raise a hand in defence and stop the whistling

it’s too quiET in here the whistling was necessary

these ungrateful assholes should be thankful

“hi there! can i help you with something?” you jump ten feet into the air from the voice that breaks the silence

you turn around and there’s this this tall ass tree of a guy standing behind the counter

he smiles at you and you immediately notice his sweet smile and cute dimples

he tilts his head before reaching up to adjust his glasses

“um, i…” he looks down and his eyes light up when he sees his poster in your hand

“oh, y/n! i didn’t know you were interested in working at the library” huh

he knows your name?

how does he know you

…do you know him?

well you have to know him otherwise how does he know your name

he pushes his glasses up and waits for you to respond

you decide to play along with it for the sake of a good first impression

or..,.,. good second impression??

you’re tempted to tell him you’re only doing this because you have no choice and also you’re failing your classes but he probably doesn’t want to hear all of that

“yeah! a little extra credit never hurts” you laugh and scratch the back of your neck “it’s nice to see you… again…?” you trail off because obviously you have no idea what his name is

you’re still confused as to how he knows your name

he kind of blinks at you and his eyebrows knit together in confusion before he’s like oOh okay i see what’s happening here

“i, uh, i’m namjoon, ha. i’m actually- we were in the same philosophy lecture last year. you… you bumped into me on the first day of class and spilt your coffee all over me.” namjoon chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck

oh yiKES

your cheeks flame up immediately and you press your lips together

good first impression!!!!1!1!

“oh! oh, right! yeah, of course i remember you, joonie!” the nickname slips out to try and soothe the awkward situation but you don’t think it’s working that well “i’m sorry about that, by the way. you know how klutzy i am” you clear your throat

namjoon chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his head

and then u remember an important detail

you raise a brow

“wait but like didn’t you graduate last year? you’re older than me aren’t you?”

“yes, i graduated last year. and yes, I’m older than you”

“….so why r u still here”

“i like it here! it’s as simple as that” namjoon shrugs and you hum in response

personally speaking

once you graduate (if u even graduate lol roasted) there is no turning back

you don’t want to come back here

you wasted four years in this torturous hell why would you willingly come back

but now that he reminded you that you two were in the same philosophy lecture it’s kind of coming back to you

you’ve seen his face like once or twice

he always sat in the front and always raised his hands to answer questions or remind the professor of assignments and oHhH right kim naMjOon

sometimes you and kook poke fun at him because like he’s genuinely suCh a n3rd and a dork aNd a try hard anD he always corrected people over the most minuscule mistakes and he’s a neat freak and wow you are suddenly realising you’re not a huge fan of namjoon

“please, i prefer namjoon.” namjoon clears his throat before setting the pile of books down on the counter “so… you wanna start working here? become the ~junior librarian~?” he sticks his hands out and does some jazz hands and you resist the urge to roll your eyes because woW that was lame

“yep, i need the extra credit” you shrug and lean against the counter

“why do you need extra credit?”

“i don’t think that’s any of your business, namjoon.” you tilt your head and namjoon’s like alright fair enough

“look. it’s pretty obvious you need some help around here.” you gesture to the cart stacked with like a trillion books sitting by the desk “and no one else has applied to help out according to your sad poster- i’m pretty much your only option, bro” you shrug as if to say ‘it’s not my fault’

okay

namjoon definitely doesn’t appreciate the tone and the attitude that you’re giving him

but you’re not wrong

surprisingly not a lot of people have come up to him wanting the job as the junior librarian

it’s kind of disappointing

being a librarian is so much fun!!!!!!

who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by books all day????

and no offence

but he doesn’t really want to give you this job because you’re just so,,., snooty and kinda rude

and you seem like you don’t care about anything

aNd you seem kinda disorganised

he’s just getting that ~vibe~ from you

but he doesn’t have a choice because he does really need the help and you need the extra credit so it works out for both of u

and he’s mature enough to work well with someone he doesn’t like so he’s sure he’ll be fine

namjoon purses his lips and exhales

“fine… i suppose i can let you work alongside me. but just to let you, i have a system for everything, so i would really appreciate if you followed the rules that i set in place and-“ you keep staring at him but you’ve drowned him out and you’re just singing a song in your head

“do you understand?” he finishes and adjusts his glasses before giving you a pointed look  

“ya man i gotcha” you click your tongue before pushing yourself off the counter and clapping your hands together “so chief where do i start” you take your backpack off and swiNG it over the counter and it fLOps to the ground loudly

namjoon’s eye twitches when your books spill out of your bag and you don’t bother picking it up

okay

what’s a job that’ll take a while and will require you to be awaY from him

ah

namjoon disappears behind the counter for a split second before reappearing with a duster and a rag

“those shelves over there need to be dusted.”

you raise your brows in disbelief

dusting

is that it

wow

easy frickin peASY ladies and gents

“at least try and make it hard for me.” you snort and snatch the duster and rag from him

extra credit - here we come! goodbye suMMER scHOOL

“see, i told you it wasn’t going to be bad!” jimin points out after you finish fleXing to him about how good of a dust job you did on those bookshelves

weird flex but ok lol

“i know!! i don’t actually mind the library, now that i think about it. the dead silence is kinda relaxing. but-“ you raise a finger “i’m not sure about that namjoon guy”

“namjoon?”

“he’s the librarian. he graduated last year and- god, he’s just… he’s such a nerd. which isn’t a bad thing, i guess? you know what i’m saying, right? he’s just,,,, i don’t know… he seems like the kinda guy who’d get a heart attack from breaking a tinY rule or something,, or i feel like if i drop a book he’ll start crying like he’s thAt kind of person”

jimin nods understandably before shrugging “i get it… but i’m sure if you give him a chance you’ll warm up and you’ll get along!! even if you don’t get along just keep it mind that you’re only doing this for a couple of months.”

“yeah, i guess.”

jimin’s usually right so you’ll take his word for it

maybe namjoon isn’t as much of a stick in the mud as you think he is

you’ll be fine

remember how in the beginning of all of this you were like this is going to be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy

well

it’s not

it’s not easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy

in fact it’s difficult-difficult-orange-difficult

why are there so many books here???????? it’s never ending!! every time you put one away like ten more appear on the counter and then namjoon’s like mmMm c’mon pick up the pace there’s a lot to do around here

you haven’t even had a chance to sit down for a minute because the library is huGe and you have to walk everywhere to make sure each book is in the right place and no books are overdue and if books aRe overdue to have to go and harass the person that still has the book and the point is THIS IS HARD AND YOU ARE TIRED

no wonder no one wanted this job!!!!!!!!! it’s hard work!!!!!!!!!!

you can’t help but wonder if that water girl job is still available but the thought of having to talk to someone like min yoongi makes you nervous so you shake the thought out of your head

aLSO

namjoon is boring

SO boring

what kind of modern young man willingly wears sweaters and cardigans and button up shirts all the damn time

also?? he keeps candies in his pockets

like he’ll be sorting through some files and then stops and he rifles through his pockets and pulls out a hard candy and pops it into his mouth

they’re those salted caramel hard candies and you’ve been tempted to ask him for one but.,,.,., u don’t want any of his damn pANT candy

also he’s so quiet and you’re very chatty so that’s another thing to add to the list of things you hate about kim namjoon

whenever you try to talk about your day he replies with mm’s and ah’s but never does anything to continue the conversation so you’re left in awkward silence waiting for a reaction

aLSO he has egg salad or tuna or plain turkey sandwiches and like vegetable soup and a piece of fruit (he literally said an apple a day keeps the doctor away one time and you were like what century are you living in???) for lunch most of the time and it sTANKS it’s awful  

and when you try to crack a joke he never gets the punchline which is infuriating because you like to think that you’re somewhat of a funny person

aren’t you??????

all he gives you is a polite laugh and a nod before he goes back to his book

you don’t know how long you can keep doing this

it’s been a month and a bit since you started working at the library

and namjoon would rather give himself a trillion paper cuts than work with you

you

are

awful

“y/n - you’re supposed to stamp the first page in the book - not the coVer of the book.” namjoon presses his lips together to keep himself from screaming when he sees you with a mountain of already wrONGLY stamped books

“oh. can’t you like erase the ink or something?”

“no you can’t- you can’t just erasE the ink the stamp is gonna be there forever”

“it’s okay i only stamped like 20 books” you shrug and instinctively stamp the book in your hands “…21 books”

“y/n whY… why did you use a glittery pink pen for the book record sheets”

“it makes it pretty! it’s not a big deal no one sees these sheets besides you and i” you grin and take the sheet from namjoon and he feels his soul die a little when you scribble something down with a neon green marker

also you keep giving yourself little breaks?? and the only breAK that is allowed on your schedule is your lunch break or the occasional washroom break whenever you need it

but you give yourself these nonexistent breaks

‘granola bar break’ - you take 30 minutes off to eat one single granola bar

‘texting break’ - this one’s worse because it happens more frequently like the two of you will be filing things together and namjoon likes to keep things working like a well-oiled machine but it’s hard to do that when you keep pausing to text someone and then you’re like okay where were we like it ruINS THE FLOW

‘reading break’ - THIS is awful because namjoon will see you study and he’ll be like okay at least she’s doing something educational and he peeks over and you’ve literally got your phone out scrolling through memes on instagram

and when he reprimands you for taking too many breaks you always wave him off and tell him to relax and to not get his panties in a twist

he feels like you’re doing this on purpose

pushing his buttons

getting under his skin in the worst way possible

also you keep calling him random names and he hATES IT he just wants to be called namjoon because that’s his name

“hey joon”

“namjoon”

“good morning joonie”

“namjoon”

“hi joonathan”

“joona- namjoon!”

“whaddup dimples”

“hey bookworm”

“hey nerd”

“what’s up four-eyes”

“yo yo yo dork”

“oi egghead where’d i put my phone”

“it’s namjoon - and feet off the counter” it’s almost automatic at this point when namjoon shoVes your legs off the counter and you nearly fall off your chair from the force

he gives you a warning look when you move to put your feet back up and you huff grumpily

“no messy foods in the library” you gawk when namjoon picks up your takeaway box of spaghetti and proceeds to dump it into the bin

“don’t use the books as coasters” namjoon snatches your drink and picks up the book then wipes the condensation from your drink off the front cover

“no more texting during work hours” your phone disappears from your hands and you blink down at your fingers because that was sO speedy

“oH my god am i even allowed to breathe in here???” you snap exasperatedly because you and jimin were talking about how kook slipped in the cafeteria and got banana milk all over tae’s new shoes and taheyung freAKED it was hilarious

namjoon blinks down at you before opening up a drawer and dropping your phone in there before proceeding to l o c k the drawer

are you KIDDING me

is this bitch for real???? he just locked up your phone???????

“i don’t know. your breathing is kind of loud, so we’ll have to figure out a way around that issue.” and with that he turns his back with a huff but not before turning to face you one last time so he can look you right in the eye as he drops your can of soda into the bin

it’s pretty obvious that you and namjoon most certainly do not like each other but the both of you are just being very passive aggressive and tip-toeing around the elephant in the library

you let out a breath and dig your nails into your palm

deep breaths deep breaths

we’re doing this to graduate

we can do this

aight

no biggie

remember how you promised yourself you’d be more responsible when it came to your work load

obviously you forgot about that promise

because you have a final in a week and a half that you completely forgot about that even frickin jungkook was aware about

and now you have to jam a whole semester’s worth of information into your head and finish that 12 page paper for your history class and work on your presentation for your film class and there’s just so much that you have to do and you don’t have enough time to do everything

you decided to skip your last lecture of the day (you asked tae to take notes for you and he’s usually good at that so you’re not worried) to come to the library and study

and you couldn’t find an empty table or anything so you figured you’d just study at the desk

you’re surprised to see that namjoon isn’t around because he practically lives at the library

okay it’s whatever

he’d probably distract you anyway

you plop yourself down on the chair and proceed to pull out all your notes and books and markers and you dump it all on the table

you crack your knuckles and look down at the mountain in front of you

let’s do this

namjoon hums a tune to himself as he opens the door and enters the library

he’s in an especially good mood today for some reason

the smile falters on his face when he realises that he’s going to be spending the rest of the day with you and that’s definitely going to soil his mood

ugh

you’re usually late because you always come after your classes so he expects that he’ll be in a good mood for about twenty more minutes or so

namjoon pauses when he sees the top of your head poking out from behind the front counter

you’re

on time?

he looks at his watch

no you’re not just on time

you’re… early

you’ve never been early to a shift before

how odd

maybe someone finally lit a fire under your ass and you’re finally being more responsible!!

okay

he’s still in a good mood

he’s about to give you a chirpy greeting (and this time he’s not going to correct you if you address him using another one of your lame nicknames) and then he’s suddenly aware of the scene in front of his eyes

“y/n?” namjoon furrows his brows to see you with your face buried in your arms and you’re surrounded by like teN textbooks and a lot of scrap paper with random notes scribbled on them and a million highlighters and pens “…whatcha up to?”

you don’t respond and he leans over the counter a little more

…are you even alive

suddenly you look up at namjoon

he takes a step back in surprise at the sight of your red and watery eyes and he’s like o shit she crying

“are you okay??” he unlocks the gate and steps behind the front counter to join you

“i don’t know anything, namjoon. i literally don’t know anything and my final is in a week and a half.” you sniffle and reach up to wipe your tears away

“oh god. i’m going to fail this exam and this is totally going to put my life on hold and everyone’s going to graduate before me and i’ll be stuck here because of how stupid i am” you sob and slam a textbook shut and namjoon jumps

he’s never seen you like this before

he’s never seen you so… defeated

usually you’re all smiles and you have a smartass comment ready to go at all times and even when he shuts you down you don’t let that stop you

so for the first time ever

when he sees you with puffy eyes and a trembling bottom lip and a permanent frown on your face

he feels… bad

and you called him namjoon

not joon or dimples or bookworm

namjoon

this is serious

even though you piss him off everyday because of how irritating you are

you don’t deserve to be this sad

namjoon sets his briefcase down before pulling his chair over and sitting down next to you

he looks over at all the textbooks briefly before looking up at you “what are you studying?” he hands you the box of tissues that are on his side of the desk and you thank him quietly before sniffling and wiping the tear that’s trailing down your cheek

“um, philosophy.” you sound kind of nasally from how much crying you’ve done but whatever “right now i’m looking at the main branches of philosophy but i just don’t geT it.”

“okay, well…” namjoon glances at your handwritten notes for a second and all you’ve written down is ‘philosophy notes’ with a bright purple marker

oh god

is he really going to do this

is he really going to help you right now

because he could totally just tell you to put your notes away and do your job

but instead he’s deciding that he’s going to help you study for your finals

even though you’ve been nothing but an obnoxious piece of shIT for the past two months

he’s going to help you whether you like it or not

“let’s start off with differentiating between the branches. typically, there are four branches. sometimes there are five, but for philosophy301 you just focus on four. logic, epistemology, metaphysics, and-“

“what are you doing?” you interrupt namjoon and look at him confusedly

he’s

he’s helping you?

what?

why??

whY?????

“i’m… explaining the four branches of philosophy. at least i’m trying to. what’s wrong?” he tilts his head and blinks twice “oh, you know what, maybe i shouldn’t… because i can’t focus if your study station is a pig sty.” he starts cleaning up your papers and putting your highlighters back into your pencil case

he pauses in the middle of stacking your textbooks to look at you “don’t just stare at me - clean up! and then we’ll get on with it.”

“namjoon, you don’t have to-“

“y/n, i swear to god.” namjoon groans quietly and taps the top of your head with a pen “stop being so stubborn and just be a good girl.”

you raise your hands in defence

you can’t help the little smile that twitches at the corner of your mouth

namjoon’s helping you

…you knew he had a soft spot for u

(little do you know that you have a soft spot for him too)

>:-)

namjoon spends the next two and a half hours explaining many different philosophical concepts to you and he answers every single one of your questions

at one point you get a little shy because you feel like your questions are dumb but namjoon reassures you that your questions are most certainly not dumb

he even paused to tell you a story of how in one of his classes he raised his hand and forgot what he was going to ask by the time the prof got to him so he ended up asking the prof ‘what class is this?’

that made you crack uP because you can imagine namjoon’s flushed cheeks and nervous stammer so clearly

also namjoon shared his lunch with you which was a surprise (today he brought in a turkey sandwich and an apple)

“my favourite sandwich is actually turkey on whole wheat with spicy mustard - and my favourite kind of apple is honey crisp!”

“spicy mustard is too much flavour for me. i just like putting mayo. and i’m a red apple kinda guy.”

“you’re boring” you tease him as you bite into the sandwich

“am not! don’t attack me for liking the plainer things in life!”

even though the ingredients are pretty plain somehow it still works and you find yourself scarfing it down in like thirty seconds

namjoon pulls a hard candy out of his pocket and offers it to you

“you’re giving me one of your precious candies??” you gasp and pluck it so delicately from his fingers as if it were made of glass or something

“it’s only because i feel bad for you because you criEd so don’t expect anymore candies from me” namjoon snorts and bites into an apple slice “also i always see you staring at me whenever i pull out a candy”

“it’s only because i’m wondering if they’re stale or not” you unwrap it and pop it into your mouth quickly before namjoon can take it back

“they most certainly are not!” he gasps in mock offence before reaching up to adjust his glasses

“your glasses are just as dorky as you” you reach over and brush your fingers over the thick rims and namjoon scowls before smacking your hand away

“don’t make me regret helping you and sharing my food with you” he points an accusatory finger in your direction and you grin cheekily “now, c’mon - let’s talk about famous philosophers and then we’ll start making some flash cards!”

“i like flash cards!!! ooh we can use my mArkERs-“ you start rambling excitedly about your multicoloured markers and namjoon finds himself smiling fondly as he watches you rummage through your pencil case

hm

maybe you’re not so bad after all

“yES you got it again! alright who do we have next…” namjoon shuffles through the pile of flashcards on his lap

“okay-“ he pauses to read the notes on the back of the flashcard before holding it up for you “who is saint thomas aquinas?”

“ooh, i know this one!!” you raise your hand even though you’re the onLY One stuDYING

you’re so lame

endearingly lame

:~)

“hm, any takers?” namjoon plays along and pretends to look around a classroom of people before pointing at you “ah! yes, miss y/l/n?”

he’s just as lame as you are

you clear your throat and sit up straighter

“saint thomas aquinas was a 13th century dominican friar, theologian and doctor of the church, born in what is known today as the lazio region of italy.”

“okay, and what did he do?”

“uh, his most important contribution to western thought is the concept of natural theology! …right?”

“mm, go on” namjoon leans back against his chair and plucks at his bottom lip as he skims over the notes on the back of the card again

“he… adhered to the platonic and aristotelian principle of realism, which holds that certain absolutes exist in the universe, including the existence of the universe itself…?”

namjoon puts the card down and stares at you and ur like o shit am i wrong

a smile creeps onto his face and he raises his fist for you to bump “you got it!”

“yAY” you give him a fist bump and apologise quietly when you hear someone in the distance go ‘shh!!!!!’

they’ve shushed you like five times in the last hour

whoops

both you and namjoon exchange glances before bursting into giggles

“uGHhgH namJOoON” you groan and slump against the table as you twirl your pencil between your fingers

today’s been a pretty slow day

wednesdays are your longest days because you have classes from 9 to 6

and now you’re at the library and namjoon is forcing you to study even though you’re like hey let’s rearrange books or something!!!! let me do my job!!!!

“no complaining! now sit up straight and listen to me.”

you ignore him and continue twirling your pencil around

“y/n. sit up and listen.” he sighs and raises an eyebrow

you curse to yourself quietly before forcing yourself to sit up but you slump against the chair as if your bones were made of jelly

okay

well

better than nothing

“okay, let me tell you about the gemeinschaft-gesellschaft dichotomy. it was proposed by tönnies as a purely conceptual tool rather than an ideal type in the way it was used by max weber to accentuate the key elements of a historic or social change. got it?”

you give namjoon a pointed look before huffing “no”

namjoon lets out a slow sigh and looks through his notes again

meanwhile you’re spinning around and around on your wheely chair

namjoon’s hand shoots out and grips onto the arm of your chair to stop you “how about we take a break?”

“yEs i love that! now that i understand.” you stretch your limbs out but quickly curl up when your stomach rumbles

huh

you forgot that you didn’t get a chance to eat lunch today

namjoon clears his throat

“i actually,.., um, i brought you some food today!” namjoon turns and grabs the paper bag sitting on his desk

you raise a brow

“you did?”

hm

that’s a surprise

that’s actually really nice of him

“you’ve been working and studying pretty hard lately so i thought i’d treat you to lunch! turkey on whole wheat with spicy mustard.” namjoon clears his throat and hands you the bag before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck “and also a honey crisp apple… and two caramel candies.”

oh

he

he remembered your favourite kind of sandwich and your favourite kind of apple

which means he went out of his way to buy ingredients that he would usually stay the heck away from

that’s… that’s kind of sweet actually

“you remembered what i like?” you reach into the bag and pull out the neatly wrapped sandwich

“the, uh, the dorky glasses make me more observant” namjoon taps the frames gently and you laugh

“look, i didn’t mean- like, dorky isn’t necessarily a bad thing i just- it’s cute! you’re cute” you flush immediately wOw what is wrong with you

you clear your throat “your glasses are cute. your glasses.” you murmur

both you and namjoon avoid gazes and you don’t realise it but both your faces are on fire

namjoon twiddles with his thumbs and bites back his smile  

you’re about to take a bite of your sandwich before you realise he’S not eating anything “hey, where’s your food?”

“oH, right” namjoon twists back and grabs his paper bag

“lemme guess - turkey on white with mayo with a red apple.”

“ah, nice guess, but i’m afraid you’ve been mistaken” namjoon tsks and shakes his head “it’s tuna sandwich tuesday!! and i brought a pear!”

you snort and roll your eyes playfully

only namjoon would have a tuna sandwich tuesday

“i believe that’s another point to me” namjoon leans back against his chair proudly after he makes yet anotHer paper ball dunk into the waste bin

you convinced him to take a lil break since you’ve been studying for an hour and a half and your brain is about to explode

and today you’re the one who brought lunch for him

you bought soup from the cafeteria!! luckily they made his favourite today!! chicken soup

he got so excited when you presented the little take-out bowl to him

he even offered you a spoonful and at first you were like nah but he said look the cafe’s chicken soup is AMAzing you will not regret this

he blew over it to cool it down first before feeding it to you and you were like o shit ur right this is good

he ended up feeding you a couple more spoonfuls as you looked over your notes

it was kinda cute but whateva

so it’s kind of that after-lunch lull where your tummies are full and you’re feeling lazy

which is why you and namjoon are competing in paper-ball

and namjoon is winning which is very surprising

whenever you play paper-ball with jimin you’re always in the lead so you’re not used to thIS

you’re realising now that you might be a bit of a sore loser

“it’s getting hot in here - it must be because i’m on fire.” namjoon smirks as he adds another dash under his name

“lame” you roll your eyes as you crush up another paper ball

“okay but seriously i’m like sweating” namjoon sits up and peels his sweater-vest off before unbuttoning a couple buttons on his shirt and rolling his sleeves up neatly

your eyes flicker over to his now exposed forearms

he has.,.., really sexy arms.,,.. what the hell,.,,

namjoon wheels a little closer to you until his knee is in between your legs “here lemme do it because your paper-balls all sucK” namjoon takes the ball from your hand and you feel a lil ziPzaP when his fingers brush over yours

what the hell x2.,.,.,., his hANDS.,.,.,., even his hANDS ARE SEXY

“what’s the matter with you? where’s the witty retort?” you look up from his hands quickly and namjoon’s grinning at you in a way that makes your heart skip a beat

.,.. EVEN HIS TEETH ARE PERFECT???

omg

what’s happening to you

you look away quickly and try to snap yourself out of it

what the fuck

what the fuck is happening

what’s going on with your body

why are your hands clammy

why is your heart racing like this

why do you want him to scoot evEN closer

you like namjoon

oh no

you like namjoon

oh NO sweetie you do NOT like kim namjoon

yes you do

no you don’t

mmmmmyes you do

NO you don’t you can’t like namjoon!!! he’s the worst!

he’s the best and you love him

he wears stupid sweater vests!!

he can pull it off tho and also his button-up is kind of thin today and you can see very faint outlines of his abs and it makes you want to run your hands over his bronzey smooth skin you LOVe it you perv

“y/n? you okay?” namjoon taps your knee gently and raises a brow when you jumP in your seat  

“i’m good! i’m just…” you snatch the paper ball from his grasp and point to the waste bin “i’m just getting my heaD in the game because i’m going to kick your ass”

namjoon laughs before gesturing for you to throw “i’d like to see you try.” he leans back against his chair and crosses his arms

frick

even THAt was sexy

you are losing your mind

you like kim namjoon

“good morning!” namjoon plops down next to you and you let out a little yawn as a good morning “today’s the big day~” he wiggles his brows “you ready?”

you look down at your flashcards and your notes and give a little shrug

you think you’re ready?? maybe

“i guess so??” you murmur and stretch your limbs out

you decided to come to the library before your 8AM exam because.,,,.., uh.,,,.,

okay you just wanted to see namjoon so WHAT

“i have something for you-“ namjoon rummages through his bag before pulling out a bracelet looking thing

a bunch of different shades of purple threads braided together neatly

she looks a little worn out but she still cute

“this was my good luck bracelet when i was doing exams during my last year - i thought maybe you’d want to wear it or something? you don’t have to, obviously, but i know how nervous you are and… yeah, i don’t know… i just wanted to give it to you i guess“

there it is again

your heart just went boom-boom for joon-joon

you press your lips together to hold back a dorky smile before you stick your hand out for namjoon “i need all the luck i can get”

namjoon smiles and shakes his head as he ties the bracelet around your wrist carefully “you don’t need any luck. i believe in you!” he glances at the clock hanging behind you on the wall “you better get going - it’s 7:42.”

you let out a little sigh before getting up off the seat and grabbing your pencil case and your water bottle

namjoon looks up at you with a small smile “i’ll see you after your exam?” he watches as you open the little gate to step out

“if i survive, that is” you retort and namjoon rolls his eyes

you’re about to walk out but you turn around swiftly “namjoon?”

namjoon looks up at you “mm?”

“thank you… for everything.” you murmur shyly while twisting the bracelet around your wrist “you’re… not bad. not bad at all.”

you don’t really know what to saY but all you know is that you’re super appreciative and grateful to have someone like namjoon,,, care about you

and you’re already not good with emotional things so ‘you’re not bad at all’ is a pretty big thing to say in your opinion!!!

lucky for you

namjoon fully understands

namjoon’s cheeks flush slightly and he shakes his head “get outta here you sappy loser”

he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding once you leave the library

and now that he has this moment alone

a realisation begins to creep into his mind

he likes you

well it’s pretty obvious at this point

things that used to irritate him about you are now endearing

he makes lunch for you willingly

he doesn’t flinch or move away when you initiate contact

he actually pays attention to your lame jokes

he gave you his good luck bracelet for god’s sakes

he likes you

you’ve been on edge for the whole day

this morning you got your philosophy final exam back

for a whole week this exam was on your mind and now it’s finally back in your hands and you can’t even bring yourself to look at your grade

because you’re terrified

you’re terrified that you failed yet another exam and you’ll have to graduate a year behind all of your friends and you’ll have to put your life on hold because you were a dumbass in university

and you’re terrified that you disappointed jin and jimin and namjoon

you don’t want to disappoint namjoon

but your exam has been burning a hole in your backpack and you figure that it’s now or never

“oh pleasepleaseplease” you whisper to yourself as your trembling fingers gently pull the crinkled, folded up piece of paper from your backpack

okay

hoo

okay

no need to panic

it’s just your philosophy final that you had to get at least a 90% on to make up for the rest of your shitty grades in that course

you pinch the corner of the page getting ready to flip it open

you take your bottom lip in between your teeth nervously

you squeeze your eyes shut

it’s now or never

you unfold it in one smooth motion and the paper makes a thwacking sound as you do so

you peel an eye open

you peel the other eye open

and the blood drains from your face

namjoon’s in the middle of putting books back onto the shelves

it’s the end of the day and there aren’t a lot of people around so it’s nice and quiet

namjoon likes these nice and quiet days

it’s just him and the books

him and his library

and then he hears something

frantic footsteps slapping against the floor in the distance

huh

someone must be in a rush

he furrows his brows when the footsteps get louder

and he whips around to look at the entrance of the library with narrowed eyes

…

…

…

bAM

he yelps in fear when the doors suddenly buRST open and a manic-looking you appears with wide eyes and a huGe (slightly terrifying) grin

you look around the library before you lock gazes with namjoon and if it’s even possible your smile grows wider

oh good god

you look like what’d he’d see in the corner of his room if he ever got sleep paralysis

“what-“

“yoU BEAUTIFUL TREE OF A MAN I LOVE YOU” the next thing namjoon knows you’re leaping into his arms and he quickly grips under your thighs instinctively so that you don’t fall flat on your ass

he stumbles backwards a little and his fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as you smoosh kisses all over his face

he’s certainly not complaining but whAt the hell is going on

you drop back down onto your feet and you unravel your arms around namjoon’s neck and throw your hands up in the air “i goT 98% ON MY EXAM” you squeal excitedly before wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug and bouncing up and down and oHHH now he sees why you’re acting like a psychopath

“see!!!! i told you you could do it i’m sO ProuD of you!!!!!!!” namjoon grins and wraps his arms around your waist and twirls you around in a circle “98% is so good!!!!!”

“i know!! i never get a 98% on anything!!!” you giggle and pull away from the crook of his neck

your arms are still wrapped around his neck and his arms are still wrapped around your waist

your breathing slows down a bit as you start to calm down and

oh

your faces are very very close

and suddenly

you feel this overwhelming urge to kiss namjoon

you want him to kiss you

namjoon’s eyes flicker down to your lips and you feel your heart pounding in your chest

it’s going to happen

he’s going to kiss you  

you’re disappointed when he quickly takes a step back and pulls away from you

you clear your throat and smooth your skirt down and namjoon adjusts his wonky glasses

both of your guys’ faces are on fire

“anyways - 98% is really good! aim for 99% next time.” namjoon teases and turns around to look at his book cart again and the moment he turns away from u he mouths a ‘wHAT THE FUCK’ to himself because WHAT THE FUCK

meanwhile your face is on fire because that was deFINTEly something

you guys had a moment

does this mean namjoon likes you back

omg

doES IT?????

“joon” you approach him and tap his shoulder gently before standing next to him

“mhm?” he glances at you briefly before looking back at the books on the cart

you get up on your tiptoes and plant a little smooch on his cheek and namjoon freezes immediately

“is there anything for me to do?” you ask casually as if you didn’t just kiSS HIS CHEEK

“u-uh-“

“oh shoot you know what i was organising the thriller novels before my exam and i never finished doing that! let me go do that now and then you can give me something else to do” you disappear in between the shelves and namjoon blinks owlishly

he reaches up and brushes his fingers over his hot cheek

and the FATTEST smile appears on his face

today’s been kind of a slow day

namjoon texted you earlier and said he’d be in late today

so here you are

sitting behind the front counter

alone

well, not exactly

lisa, wendy and jisoo came to keep you company even though you insisted you were fine

they texted and asked if you wanted to grab some lunch and when you didn’t respond they all came to ambush you at the library

“yeah, sure! as soon as namjoon gets here we can go get some food.” you smile politely before looking back down at the computer

these girls,,, well they’re not your frieNds exactly

they’re in a couple of your classes

let’s just say they’re a whole lot more popular than you think you’ll ever be

they’ve taken a liking to you for some reason and you don’t mind because the more the merrier!! also it’s kinda cool because in high school you were never really friends with the ‘’’’’cool gals’’’’’’ so there’s that too

also you think another reason why they hang around you is because you’re friends with guys like jimin and jungkook and you don’t want to be that person but like..,,. YEaH ur boy-friends are really attractive so it makes sense to go through you to get to them (spoiler alert jimin and jungkook do not like any single one of these girls but you don’t have the heart to break the news to them)

“namjoon… why does that name sound so familiar” lisa furrows her brows and leans against the counter

“remember? he was that guy in our philosophy lecture last year - the one who sat at the front? he graduated last year” you hum and scribble something down

“oh shit, i remember!!!” lisa gasps “…oh god, he was awful. such a try-hard”

wait what

your head pops up and you furrow your brows “well like he’s not a try-hard he’s just passionate about-“

“i hated him. he kept reminding the prof to give us pop quizzes” wendy shudders

“i bet he’s still a virgin”

“who cares if he-“

“i bet he hasn’t had his first kiss yet”

“we can’t just assume that he hasn’t just because he-“

“yeah, i wouldn’t be surprised” jisoo snorts “who the hell would wanna kiss someone who looks like that?”

what the hell

what kind of assholey thing was that to say??

“…what?”

“oh, c’mon, y/n. the sweater vests. the pervert glasses.”

“he’s tall and gangly. no meat on his bones??”

“i could never even imagine dating a loser like that!”

and suddenly you remember why you don’t like these girls

namjoon is in a very vEry good mood today

and now he gets to spend the rest of the day with you so he’s teN times happier!!!!!!!

plus he brought lunch for you again because he knows that sometimes you neglect your stomach and he can’t have that (and as cute as your stomach rumbles are he wants to make sure you’re eating and not skipping lunch just because you’re too lazy to line up)

he hopes you like the sandwich

he cut it into the shape of a heart just because he thought it was kinda cute

and uh

the heart-sandwich kind of emphasises the fact that he likes you a lot

ALSO

he picked out a bunch of little daisies from the ground on his way here

and he tied them together in a little bouquet using a blade of grass

very rustic looking bouquet but still adorable!!

he looked like a madman yanKIng all the daisies out of the ground but u know what he’s embracing it because he’s a fool in LOVe

he accidentally stepped on a couple daisies and was like yikes

and he has a couple specks of dirt on his shirt but he’ll deal with it later

anyways

today’s the day he’s going to tell you that he likes you ~romantically~ and he’s going to ask if you wanna grab dinner after you guys leave the library tonight

he even made reservations at this cute cafe he hopes you’ll like

and he’s dressed extra spiffy today

his hair is swept back neatly and he even used a lil more gel to keep every strand in place

there’s not one speck of dust on his glasses lens

he ironed his tie and his button-up

and he’s wearing a brand new expensive cologne

all for you!!!!!! because you are woRth it

his heart skips a bit at the mere thought of your smile and that adorable giggle and the way your nose crinkles when he scolds you playfully

frick he likes u sO MCUH

he decides to take the back door today

just because the romance books are on the shelves in the back and he’s in a romantic mood and wants to pick out a book for you to read

he’s thinking Jane Austen’s ‘Persuasion’ is a good one

namjoon’s finger brushes over the spines of the books on the shelves as he looks for it

he perks up when he finds it

perfect!!!!!!!

he tucks the book under his arm and adjusts his book bag on his shoulder and triple checks that he has everything

sandwich? check

new book?? got it

flowers???? yEs

say it with me now: hoTEL?trivAGo

he hears the murmuring of some voices as he nears the front and he freezes when he hears his name float through the air

hm?

he pokes his head out from around the corner and sees you and a couple of who he can safely assume are your girl friends because they’re all giggling about something

namjoon furrows his brows and stays hidden behind a bookshelf

a little eavesdropping never hurts nobody

“you would never go out with someone like namjoon, right? i know i wouldn’t” lisa taps the top of your head to get your attention “not even if we were the last people on earth”

“yeah, i don’t think i would either” you reply automatically because if you said yEs i’d go for namjoon (and u totally would) you’d never hear the end of it

((but at the same time who cares about what these girls think?? they’re not ur real friends))

you don’t want to go out with them anymore

as soon as this conversation ends you’re kicking these assholes the heck out of the library

but you can’t kick them out without saying something nice about namjoon because ?? namjoon is one of the sweetest guys ever and they need to be aware of that

“but without him i wouldn’t have passed my exam so i have to give him some credit for that” you point out and hope that they’ll cut him some slack

wendy leans against the counter and gasps

“oh, i love that, you cold-hearted bitch!!! taking advantage of the smarty-pants virginey loser to pass your exams?? geniuS”

okay

that didn’t exactly work out

“you would never go out with someone like namjoon, right? i know i wouldn’t”

“yeah, i don’t think i would either”

…

…

…what?

namjoon deflates and he feels his heart clench in his chest

his fingers tighten around the paper bag and he takes a small step back

frick

he knew this day was going too well

you…

you really wouldn’t want to go out with him?

you wouldn’t even give him one chance?

was he really that awful?

“but without him i wouldn’t have passed my exam so i have to give him some credit for that”

“oh, i love that, you cold-hearted bitch!!! taking advantage of the smarty-pants, virginey loser to pass your exams?? geniuS”

namjoon’s eyes flutter shut and he presses his lips together

of course

of coursE this would happen to him

you were the one person that he thought might’ve actually like him back and it turns out you were only using him to pass your exams

how could he not have seen that????

you???? being interested in him?????

i m p o s s i b l e

you don’t go for dorky librarians like him

you go for guys like min yoongi and jeon jungkook and park jimin

well now he just feels stupid

he has a stupid heart shaped sandwich and a stupid honey crisp apple and a stupid packet of animal crackers in this stupid paper bag that has your name on it because he has a stupid crush on you and he really thought you liked him back and he was looking forward to taking you out on a stupid stUPID date

but of course the inevitable happens

you don’t like him… at all.

you used him?

your fingers tighten around the pen and you bite down on your tongue

these girls are getting on your nerves now

whatever

you’re kicking them out now you’re done with this  

“anyways - as much as i wanna talk about how much of a loser kim namjoon is,” you say sarcastically and make air quotes “i think i have some work to do so i’m going to have to put a rain check on-“

you jump when you hear the sound of some books toppling off the shelf and everyone immediately looks at the source of the sound

you stand up and peek over the girls’ shoulders

and the blood immediately drains from your face

“n-namjoon?”

oh,,,., god

oh no no nO

did he hear everything you said??

namjoon doesn’t think it’s possible for his heart to break even more

but then

“anyways - as much as i wanna talk about how much of a loser kim namjoon is, i think i have some work to do so i’m going to have to put…”

ouch

okay

big yikes

this did not go according to plan at all

maybe he should head out the back door and then come in through the front door and just act like everything is normal

yes

that’s a good plan

namjoon turns around to leave but he stumbles over his feet a little and his hands reach out to grip onto the bookshelf  

instead what happens is he shoves a couple books riGHt off the shelf and namjoon curses before automatically dropping to his knees to pick them up

“n-namjoon?”

oh shit

where does he go from hERE

namjoon freezes like a deer in headlights and he swallows thickly before slowly turning to look up at you “u-uh, i-i-“

“hey, look what the cat dragged in!” wendy coos and namjoon feels his heart starting to race in his chest when the girls approach him “what do we have here, hm?”

before he has the chance to pick up the paper bag jisoo snAtches it from the ground

“oh, y/n! it’s for you!” she unrolls the top and reaches it before pulling out the sandwich

she coos before pushing her bottom lip out in a mocking pout “aw, isn’t that cute? a wittle heart shaped sandwich for y/n!” her eyes flicker down to the bouquet of daisies that have now been tramPled on “and a bouquet of weeds!! ever the romantic, aren’t you??”

namjoon feels his entire face flush bright red and he’s struggling to put the books back onto the shelf

he’s just doing whatever it takes to avoid eye contact with the girls

“you’re looking a little red, namjoon. maybe you should take that cardigan off?” wendy pinches his cheek and namjoon gets off his knees immediately

although he towers over them he knows they’re the ones holding the power in this moment

“what’s the matter? you’re not even going to say hi to y/n??” lisa frowns before gesturing to you

namjoon locks gazes with you and your heart clenches when you’re able to see the pure hurt and pain in his glassy eyes

he looks away from you immediately and bends down to grab his bag

“nam-“ the next thing you know he spRints towards the front door and leaves

all three girls burst into laughter and jisoo tosses the paper bag and the flowers onto the front counter and it lands right in front of you

your heart tightens at the sight of your name scribbled on it with a little heart drawn next to it

you pick up the bouquet of daises and they flop down against your fingers sadly

“…you guys are assholes” you hiss and start packing up your things

“what? y/n, what’s wr-“

“all of you - get out!” you snap and point towards the door as you zip your backpack up frantically

the girls all exchange glances before scoffing and leaving the library

good fucking riddance

you basically leAp over the gate and sprint towards the front door

you’re not technically supposed to leave the library because no one’s at the front desk but you need to find namjoon

jesus

you should’ve said something!!! you should’ve stuck up for joon!!!! why didn’t you???

why didn’t you stick up namjoon who always makes sure you’re drinking enough water and eating enough food and not skipping meals and who always offers to get you a snack whenever he goes to the cafe and is always very patient with you when he’s teaching you something new and is always giving you new books to read

namjoon with his boisterous laugh when you or that shy giggle he does where he covers his mouth and his eyes crinkle

namjoon who makes you feel happy and safe and warm and smart and all the good things in the world

namjoon who makes your heart go boom-boom because of how sweet and caring and wonderful he is

namjoon who has two left feet and has officially tripped his way into your heart

you look like a maniac because you’re sprinting everywhere to try and find namjoon but you seriously don’t know where he is

you’re out of breath and your bag is flopping against your back anD you’re holding onto the daises and the paper bag for dear life

you spend an hour trying to find namjoon

but he’s nowhere to be found

you end up back at the library and you let out a sigh as you shut the gate behind you

it’s the end of the day so there’s nobody around really

the sun is beginning to set

you groan and slam your head against the desk in frustration

you

are

an idiot

congratulations, y/n y/l/n - you fucked up.

“thank you” namjoon smiles at the waitress before sitting up a little straighter and reaching out for the sandwich on his plate

he takes a small bite and his eyes flicker to across the booth where you should be

suddenly he’s not feeling very hungry anymore

he swallows his bite and pushes the plate away before slumping against the booth and looking out the window of the cafe

he curses to himself when he feels a lump growing in his throat

he feels dumb crying over you

he should’ve known you would never go for someone like him

he sniffles and reaches up to dab away the single tear that’s threatening to spill over

namjoon doesn’t come to work the next day

instead you’re met with the sight of some random guy sitting behind the counter

his name is hoseok and he’s all smiles and you’re sure he’s a nice guy but he’s really getting on your nerves right now

and he has the audacity to ask you if you need help with anything

he’s sitting in namjoon’s chair!!!!!!

“sorry- where’s namjoon?” you interrupt his little rant about his day and he blinks at you

“hm? oh! uh, not sure… would you like me to try contacting him for you? if you have a question about how things work around here you can always ask me! i used to work at the library but they told me i talked too much buT here i am again because-”

oh my god this guy is infuriating

namjoon doesn’t come to work the next day

or the next

or the next

or the next

you’re starting to get worried

you’ve texted him - no response

you’ve called him - no response

you talked to jin and jin told you that you actually have enough extra credit now!! so you’ve been relieved of your librarian duties buT since namjoon isn’t there you can fill in for him til he comes back

“i thought i was supposed to continue working there til the end of the semester? and after the semester ends i’ll get the extra credit?”

“yeah, i thought so too - but i guess you’ve done such a good job that namjoon’s given you extra exTra credit!! good job!!!” jin grins and claps his hands together “goodbye summer school!!!!!! now, listen, let’s not fail our courses so that i don’t have to have this discussion with you again, how about we…”

o god

namjoon doesn’t want you around anymore thAt’s why he gave you the all extra credit immediately

you slump against the seat as jin continues to blab about a study plan for you

what are you doing to do now?

two weeks pass by and you’ve gone to the library every single day in hopes that namjoon will be there

instead you’re met with hoseok’s smiling face

side note: you’ve warmed up to him he’s actually really sweet

but you just

you miss your joonie

so when you walk into the library after a particularly tiring day and see namjoon sitting at the desk instead of hoseok

you’re understandably a little shook

“namjoon?? where have you been????” you gasp and shut the gate behind you “i-i’ve texted and i tried calling you but you-“

“i just needed a break.” namjoon shrugs

there’s an awkward silence between the two of you and you pluck at a loose thread on your sweater

okay

you need to say something

you had something planned out but for some reason you can’t remember what you were going to say

how about you start off with sorry

okay

that’s a good plan

start off with sorry

easy peasy lemon squeezy

you clear your throat and sit down in your chair before scooting closer to namjoon

he doesn’t budge

that’s a good sign.,., right

“hey, uh, look - i’m sorry-“

“it’s fine.” namjoon replies softly and flips to the next page in his book

it’s obviously not

he can’t even look you in the eye

“namjoon, i-“

“i think you should go. people who aren’t librarians aren’t supposed to be behind the desk.” namjoon snaps his book shut before getting up off his seat and walking over to the gate

he holds it open for you

okay

you deserve that

“i just wanted to say that i’m sorry-“

“yeah, i got it. is there anything else i can help you with?”

god

u feel awful

you pluck at the purple bracelet around your wrist nervously

“please, just give me a second to explain-“

“you’ve done plenty of explaining. i get it. i’m not good enough for little miss y/n y/l/n.” namjoon scoffs “message received loud and clear.”

“no, that’s not tru-“

“now if you’ll excuse me, i have some students waiting who actually need help.” namjoon gestures to the line of students before pointing at the gate

you swallow the lump in your throat and you stand up and grab your bag

difficult difficult orange difficult

namjoon feels a twinge of guilt nibbling away at his conscience

it’s been about

five days? since he last saw you

five days since you tried apologising and he didn’t even give you a second to explain yourself which honestly wasn’t fair of him

and he wants to talk to you and stuff but,..,., like.,. he’s never experienced anything like this before and he doesn’t know what to do

are the two of you just going to avoid each other for the rest of your time here

the only time you interact will be when you check out a book at the library which very rarELy happens

he can’t help but wonder when he’ll see you again

the next time he sees you he’s definitely going to say something

and it seems like someone up there is either on his side or really hates him

because there you are

behind the counter

but he hasn’t had a chance to prepare for this situation and whAT IS HE GOING TO SAY TO U

it’s then that he notices that something is off

“y/n? what are you doing here? you don’t work here anymore and… it’s saturday.”

namjoon jumps when you whIP around clutching a bunch of books to your chest

“i put all the returned books away. i stamped all the new books on the first page and not the front cover-“

namjoon can barely pay attention to what you’re saying because you look

well

you looking a little rough girl

there are bags under your bloodshot eyes

your hair is pulled up into a messy bun

there’s a pen stuck through the bun

your reading glasses are tangled in your hair

“i also put the new books into the cataloguing system so you don’t have to spend this weekend doing that anymore!! you can go home and rest if you want!! i-i can take care of it!!”

“how long have you been h-“  

“i’ve restrung all the old books that are falling apart! i-i vacuumed behind the desk and i dusted the bookshelves too-“ you gesture wildly to the bookshelves

“y/n - jesus, you look like you’re about to pass out i think you should rest” namjoon rushes behind the counter and grabs onto your shoulders to steady you because you’re starting to sway a little bit

even though he’s still hurt by what happened he’s not going to prioritise thAt before you especially since you don’t look so good right now

also now that a good amount of time has passed he’s slowly starting to get over it

if you don’t like him like that then you don’t like him like that

there’s nothing he can do about it

he just has to accept it

“no namjoon listen to me look i even restocked on those black pens you like so much and i didn’t use my glittery pink pens when i labelled the books!” you sniffle and look up at him with watery eyes before gesturing to the cup of pens

“yes, i see that-“

“i just need you to know how sorry i am, okay?”

“yes, and i’ve forgiven you-“

“no, you haven’t! you haven’t forgiven me and i can see why! if i were in your shoes i wouldn’t forgive me! i’m just an asshole and there’s literally no excuse in the world to defend what i said about you and i feel awful and i’d understand if you never wanna see me again because i would never wanna see me again-“

“-y/n-“

“but you’re literally the sweetest guy i’ve ever met and i like you so sO much and you didn’t have to help me study for my finals and you didn’t have to give me extra credit-“

“-y/n-“

“and you need to know that i don’t think all those awful things about you i was just being stuPId because those girls make me act stupid and i don’t know i should’ve defended you but i didn’t but i reaLLy wanted to but i-i just froze and i didn’t know what to do and aLSO i’m not letting you give me extra credit because i’m smart enough to know that i have to finish working for a full semester before you administer extra credit-

“oH my god will u just shUT UP”

in a raRe act of spontaneity namjoon grabs your cheeks and bends down and plants his lips right against yours

and as cheesy as it seems

f i r e w o r k s

your eyes flutter shut and you fist namjoon’s shirt in your hands as you kiss him back

and then namjoon realizes the the fact he’s kissing you

he’s kissing you

he pulls away quickly and steps back and you immediately miss his warmth but also

he just kissed you

did that really happen??

or are you overtired and you just dreamt that whole thing up??

“wha…”

“i forgive you, alright? and… you can come back and work here for your extra credit.” namjoon clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck “now go and take a nap before you pass out right here right now”

his entire face is on fire

what the hell was THAT

namjoon watches as you lie down behind the counter and cuddle up to a makeshift pillow (his hoodie that he let you borrow after a long night of studying)

a couple days go by

things are

kinda normal ??

you guys are slowly falling back into your old routine

you apologise again and namjoon reassures you that he’s forgiven you and tells you to stop saying sorry before he kicks you out again

you get a chance to fully explain the situation and noW namjoon definitely forgives you

it was a misunderstanding and yeah he was pretty hurt but

he’s over it now

and he tells you to quit apologising otherwise he’ll make you a sandwich with no mayonnaise at aLL and you shut up immediately

also

you two haven’t brought up the kiss at all

namjoon is mortified

he’s never going to be spontaneous ever again

do you even remember kissing him?? (yes u do and ur freaking out about it)

god he hopes not

jeSus

if it isn’t obvious by now namjoon is a lil bit of a coward

it’s not his fault!!!!

why would a sane person want to step out of their comfort zone?? just STAY in the comfort zone that’s why it’s called the C OM F O R T zone

things that are within the vicinity of kim namjoon’s comfort zone:

1) adding a touch of sriracha to his sandwiches for a LITTLE bit of a kick

2) drinking soup and wearing a crisp, white button-up because he’s very neat and is 100% positive he won’t get a droplet of soup on his shirt

3) not making a move on you because he doesn’t know what to do and if he doesn’t know what to do he’s just going to leave it like that

you, on the other hand

you are very different

things that are within the vicinity of y/n y/l/n’s comfort zone:

1) adding a SHITloAD of spicy mustard to your sandwiches because p a i n   i s p le a su re

2) drinking soup and wearing a white tee-shirt because who cares?? if u stain the shirt you can just say you bought it like that AND it gives your clothes more character

3) making many maNy moves on namjoon to try and encourage him to reciprocate affection and eventually admit that he has feelings for you

“good morning, joonie~” namjoon’s eyes pop open when you lean down and plant a ‘’;’friendly’;;’;’ kiss on his cheek

o

that was unexpected

“morning” he clears his throat and stays quiet as you sit down and pull your things out

you wheel closer to him and look down at the desk “whatcha doin?”

“uh,” namjoon looks down at the book on the desk “re-binding a book… it, um, it was kinda falling apart but to be fair it’s a really old book so i can see why-“

“do you need help??” you reach over and brush your fingers over where namjoon’s holding the spine of the book down as he waits for the glue to dry

his cheeks immediately buRST into flames and he yanks his hand away before breaking into a nervous laugh “no!! it’s okay!!! i- uh, i suddenly remembered i.,,. i have to pEE” the chair spiNS in circles from how quickly he zippEd off of it and you let out a small breath

this is going to be a lot harder than u thought

“y/n, where did you- oh, there you are! your soup is getting cold” namjoon scratches the back of his neck

he furrows his brows when he sees you on your tip-toes on the toP STEP of the very VERY old wooden ladder

you turn to glance at him “oh, hey! i’ll be right there. i’m just cataloguing some of these older books”

“okay, um- maybe you should use the metal ladder instead?? didn’t i tell you the wooden one is basically falling apart?” namjoon adjusts his collar nervously

o god

his palms are getting sweaty

you look down at the ladder before shaking your head

“you never told me that”

LIES

he DID tell you that but this is all part of your master scheme

>:-)

although you’re probably going to break every single bone in ur body if you’re not careful so u should probably get off soon

you’re not aware of this yet but the weak wood is starting to splinter a bit under your weight

“i’m fine, joon. look!” namjoon’s heart stops in his chest when you stomp down on the step in a poor attempt to prove its stability “see?? totally fine”

oh my god

you’re purposely trying to kill him aren’t you

luckILY it doesn’t fall apart

and then he hears the first splinter

and a crack

and another crack

namjoon’s superman instincts immediately kick into gear and he zips towards you when the ladder suddenly snaps and you’re sent hurdLING TO THE GROUND

you find yourself in namjoon’s arms in a millisecond after falling and you blink up at him “holy shit”

“i toLD YOU” namjoon scolds and doesn’t budge when you slip an arm around his shoulder and praCTIcally cuddle up to him “i told you the wooden one was crap but you neveR listen to me and you could’ve seriously hurt yourself and whAT was the whole stomping thing are you an IDIOT-“

“you care about me” you grin and poke his chest and namjoon glances down at you

he clears his throat

“of course i care about u” he lets you back down onto your feet and takes a step away from you “now come and eat ur stupid soup before i smack u”

somehow you end up tricking namjoon into feeding you spoonfuls of soup because you’re “still shaken up from what just happened”

namjoon rolls his eyes at your antics but uh

he plays along

:-)

“y/n y/l/n??? reading??? preposterous!” you look up from your book when namjoon suddenly appears and sets a stack of books on the countertop

“don’t use your fancy vocabulary in front of me, you know i only know like 3 words maximum”

“what are you reading?” he adjusts his glasses and peeks over a little

“i don’t even know what i’m reading. i just picked it up because i was bored. it’s called ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’. i thought it was about pirates but it’s….. noT.”

of course u thought it was about pirates

“oh! i’ve read that one! Louis de Bernières, right?”

you close the book to look at the front cover

“ya it’s lewis dee bearnards.”

namjoon looks at you like,, okay A+ for effort

“read it out loud”

“don’t you have work to do?”

“i do, but read a line to me! refresh my memory”

“alright, alright - here” you lean your elbows on the counter so that you’re right next to namjoon

you clear your throat and open the book to find where you were at

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.”

“Because this is what love is.” namjoon quotes quietly and you put the book down

the two of you lock gazes and you can’t help but notice that something feels different between the two of you

and then you find yourself leaning closer

and closer

and closer

and-

“anYways it’s a really good boOk” namjoon suddenly stands up before clumsily picking up the stack of books “i’ll be in the back!!!!!!”

you groan quietly

SO close

“thanks for walking me home” you smile up at joon and he nods in response “and thanks for lending me your cardigan”

you slip your arm from his as you go to unlock your door

you turn around and wrinkle your nose “you probably want your cardigan ba-“

“you can keep it!” namjoon blurts out and quickly looks away “i mean, um… if you want. you can keep it. so next time you have something to keep you warm when it’s cold?”

you press your lips together to hide your grin and you nod and look down at the plain brown cardigan “okay, well… thanks again.” you murmur and take a lil step closer to namjoon

he looks up at you in surprise and you can FEEL the magnetic attraction bringing the two of you closer and closer

it’s going to happen

he’s going to kiss you at your front door

and it’s going to be magical

and then-

“i think i left my oven on at home” namjoon breathes out and he’s SO close you feel his breath wash over your lips “can i text you later?”

god DAMNIT

this is fucking ridiculous

you and joon keep having these almost-kiss moments and you will GLADLY smooch the man but he backs out every time and is like hOohOo i’ll be in the back!!!!!!!!! or he’ll be like i NEED 2 PEE or like i NEED TO READ A BOOK NOW

whenever you’re standing near him or your knee brushes over his when you guys are sitting with each other he gets all nervous and jittery and his face gets all flushed and then he’s like i NEED TO DUST SOMETHING

and then when he leaves each time you have to refrain yourself from grabbing the stapler and like stapling your fingers together out of frustration

he’s just so!!!!!!!! he’s being such a nAMJOON

you’ve never really chased a guy down like this before

and at first it was fun but now you’re just frustrated

so you’ve finally decided it’s time for the last resort

as much as you hate confrontation

it’s necessary in this situation

“i have a question for you” you murmur as you scribble a note down in your journal

it’s a pretty quiet afternoon in the library (as per usual except there are less people here since exam season is over)

namjoon’s sitting behind the counter and you’re standing in front of it doing your work because you felt like your ass was going to fall off from how numb it became due to you sitting on it for like 5 hours straight

you set your pencil down quietly “joon.”

namjoon sighs and flips through his book “if it’s about the online library system i told you you have to hit the big green button for it to sav-“

“why don’t you wanna kiss me again? i know you like me too”

wait wat

namjoon chokes on his tea and pats his chest a couple times before quickly adjusting his glasses

did you just

did he hear you right

what the fu

what???

what’s happening

is this a fever dream

you like him too?

“sorry - w-what?”

“i said - i know you like me too. so what’s the problem, dimples?” you lean over on the counter and prop your chin up on your palm

what’s the problem?

the problem is that this is way too good to be true

he knows exactly what’s happening

you don’t like him you only think you like him

he doesn’t need your pity

you’re only saying you like him because he’s the lame librarian and he’s not mr athlete like yoongi and you’re trying to make him feel better

“i- who- look, i don’t know who put this ridiculous idea in your head, but i-i don’t!” namjoon gets up from his chair quickly and walks out from behind the counter

the little gate snAPS shut

“why’d you kiss me in the first place then??”

…,.,.touché

“to get you to shuT uP” namjoon explains as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world even though he’s definitely lying thru his teeth right now

“to get me to shut up mY ASS”

namjoon bites down on in inside of his cheek and suppresses a groan

OH my god you are so IRRITATING

“wha- if anything, i think you’re the most infuriating, annoying, and obnoxious girl i’ve ever met!” namjoon takes a step towards you and towers over you but you don’t budge “you- you always crash the cataloguing system and you never put the books back in alphabetical order like you’re supposed to and on top of that you’re always bringing your dumb snacks in here and you always leave crumbs everywhere for me to clean up even though i’ve told you multiple times you have to clean up after yoursel- mmph!”

namjoon’s eyes go as wide as saucers when you’re suddenly grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and yanking him down so that you can kiss him

S M O O C H

you pull away and namjoon blinks quickly before his cheeks flare up

you let go of his collar and smooth it down before prodding your finger into his chest accusingly

“you have all these complaints about me yet you never activELy try to stop me and that signals to me that yoU LIKE ME- oh!” namjoon’s suddenly grabbing your waist and pushing you up against the counter and then he leans down to mash his lips against yours

you feel the sting from where the counter is digging into your back but holy shit you do noT give a fuck right now

his hands are cupping your face and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss

namjoon licks into your mouth and you let out a small noise of surprise

you whimper and tug at his tie to pull him even closer to you

“waIt wait wait oh god this is highly inappropriate y/n we’re in an educational setting” namjoon pulls away from you and you find yourself chasing after his lips before you’re like you’rE right you’re right

so the two of you step away from each other and you smooth out your shirt while namjoon adjusts his collar

the two of you look at each other and lock gazes

…

and then you’re immediately lunging at each other again and namjoon’s strong arms wrap around your waist while your arms wrap around his neck

he lifts you up in one swift movement and you find yourself sitting on the countertop leaning down to kiss joon while he slots himself in between your legs and places one hand on your waist while the other rests on your thigh

“you’re a very good kisser” you murmur into the kiss  

“don’t underestimate me” he squeezes your thigh and you smack his hand away when it starts sliding up higher and higher

“so are you still positive that you don’t like me back?” you pout and slide a hand down his chest and namjoon reaches up to wrap his fingers around your wrist

he purses his lips and pretends to think “you might have to kiss me again and then i’ll have a definite answer for you”

you giggle and cup his cheeks before leaning in to give him a sweet little peck and namjoon hums happily

“…yeah, i definitely like you back”

the two of you can’t hide the fat grins on your faces

god bless the library

surprisingly enough you aren’t actually that much of a party person

just because going to parties requires so much damn effort

you take like two hours to slather 10 pounds of makeup on your face and another hour to squeeze into a saucy outfit

and then when you get to the frat house it’s all dark inside so doing your makeup wasn’t even worth it

and when you sit down you have to sit straight otherwise you’ll buSt out of your jeans

you only go to parties because of jimin

he usually takes care of the drinks and it would be plain rude of you to say no to free drinks!!!!!!!!

the basketball team is celebrating their big win and they’re going aLL out and they asked jimin to take care of the drinks for them at this party and so jimin was like ya you don’t have a choice you have to come to the party

and you know jimin’s going to be busy all night so you invited namjoon to come along

no offence to your sweet boyfriend but you hope he doesn’t get too overwhelmed because he gets overwhelmed pretty easily

obviously parties aren’t his scene which isn’t a bad thing

you told him that if he was uncomfortable and wanted to leave you would totally leave with him

you’re predicting that he’s going to show up in a sweater vest or something

bless him

to be fair you’re wearing one of his cardigans over your outfit right now just because it’s still a little chilly out anD the cardigan kind of matched with your ~lewk~ for the night

and also it smells like him and makes u feel cozy

:~)

“look at this set up! this is like a legit bar” you smooth your hands over the marble countertop and jimin nods enthusiastically

“i know right!!! you’re lucky that you’re friends with the bartender - so what can i get for you tonight, ma’am?” jimin smirks and tosses a rag over his shoulder before wiggling his brows

“surprise me, minnie” you grin

“where’s namjoon?” jimin plops a chunk of lime into the shaker

“he’s on his way! he wanted to stay back and clean up before coming here and he-“ your phone suddenly buzzes in your pocket “-and he’s calling me right now pardon me” jimin nods and wanders off to the other end of the bar for the ice

“hello?”

“hey, i just got here - where are you?”

“i’m by the bar! i’m wearing your cardigan so-“

“oh! okay, i see you. i’ll see you in a sec” you hang up and slip your phone into your back pocket and jimin wanders back over with your drink

“i’ll start you off with a spicy blackberry margarita” you ‘ooh’ in amazement because this looks like a veRy fancy drink

jimin watches you expectantly as you take a sip and your eyes pop open “this is SO good!!!!! please keep them coming or i’m suing” you murmur while taking the straw in between your lips again

“hi baby” you feel someone slip an arm around you from behind and you immediately recognise that musky cologne when joon props his chin up on your shoulder

“mm- hey dweeb” you pop a quick kiss on his cheek but you’re not really paying attention because this drink is bOMB

“what are you drinking?”

“it’s a spicy blackberry margarita. did you wanna try- woah.” you choke on your drink when namjoon sits on the stool next to you and you get a really reALLy good chance to look at your boyfriend because sweetie this is not your boyfriend

he has his hair slicked back

he’s not wearing his glasses

he has two small silver hoops hanging from his ears

he’s wearing a plain white tee that is very veRy tight around his biceps and a pair of ripped skinny jeans anD a pair of timberlands

y/n.exe has stopped working

“-whaaaaaaauhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-“

whose mans is this

is this your mans???

this is your mans????

“aren’t you going to give me a proper kiss hello?” namjoon tilts his head and pouts

what the hell

what the hell?////???

“who are you and what did you do to namjoon?????” you manage to squeak out

he rolls his eyes playfully before leaning in and slotting his lips against yours

“cute outfit, by the way. a cardigan’s kinda dorky for a house party though, don’t you think?” he raises a brow and tugs you off your seat so you can stand in between his legs

“you’re calling me dorky??”

“i’m not the one wearing a cardigan at a party. have you never been to a party before?” namjoon slips his hands under the cardigan and rests his hands on your hips and gives you a little squeeze

“excuse-“

“y/n! hey, girl!” you feel a little piece of your soul die when you hear that familiar pitchy voice

you spin around in namjoon’s grip so that he’s hidden behind you

“wendy! …hey…” you clear your throat

you haven’t spoken to wendy or the others since the incident

just because they’re assholes and u don’t really,.,., like assholes??

“ugh, i’m so glad you made it! look, the girls and i just wanted to give you an apology.”

“well it’s not me you should be apologising to” you raise a brow

wendy scoffs playfully “well it’s not like kim namjoon would be at this party. you can just apologise to him for us or something!”

suddenly namjoon yanks you down so that you’re sitting on his leg

his arm slithers around your waist and your arm hangs loosely around his neck  

“wendy! so nice to see you again!” before you get the chance to say anything namjoon offers the three girls a charming smile

.,,.,.god his teeth are literally perfect

wendy’s brows furrow in confusion

“see you agai- wait, namjoon?” she gawks and you feel a twinge of anger when her eyes graze him from his head to his toes

lisa and jisoo exchange glances before murmuring things to each other

you catch a glimpse of lisa staring at namjoon as if he were a piece of mEat

the AUDACITY of these girls

she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth before her right eye drops in a wink

namjoon sighs

“you alright, lisa? is there something in your eye? you’re blinking weird. and jisoo - i see a widdle piece of lettuce in your teeth.”

the two girls’ faces flush bright red and you press your lips together to keep yourself from laughing

wendy shakes her head “you- wow, you clean up nice…”

“wish i could say the same for you.” he pouts and reaches out to pinch her cheek “you’re looking a little red… maybe the stick up your ass is causing tension?” he suggests and props his chin up on your shoulder

woW

breaking news: wendy has just been COMPleteLY obliterated

“wow… whatever.”

you remain silent as the three girls immediately whiP around and head in the other direction

“…do you think i should go and apologise?” namjoon suggests sheepishly and you turn to look at him

“if anything i think you should’ve taken it farther”

“and this is why i like u”

“i know” you raise your fist and namjoon laughs before bumping his fist against yours “now, c’mon - let’s get you a spicy blackberry margarita”

okay

so

about two hours have passed

you and joon have been hanging out at the bar mostly

jimin keeps testing new drinks on the two of you

both of you have an ample amount of alcohol flowing through your veins

and now you’re on the couch because the bar was getting too busy

and uh

you’ve always been a affectionate!drunk and namjoon is now realising this

“what’s gotten into you?” namjoon laughs after you rub your nose against his before pulling away to give him a lil kith

“just loving on my boyfrienD” you giggle and wrap his arm around your shoulder before nuzzling against him

in the background you hear the commotion of people getting excited because jungkook’s gone and volunteered himself for body shots

you very faintly see min yoongi and the random thought of that water girl job pops into your head

namjoon takes the red plastic cup away from you “mhm, i think that’s enough for you, missy”

“namjOoooOn” you immediately make grabby hands for your cup and namjoon holds it away from you so that you can’t reach it

you’re practically stretched out on his lap trying to grab it

you huff and roll your eyes “well noW what am i going to do to pass the time”

spoiler alert: u somehow persuade joon into a make-out session on the couch (it was pretty easy and u had good points “everyone’s over in the kitchen doing body shots and also u look super hot tonight”)

you pull away from namjoon and take your bottom lip in between your teeth “…you wanna get outta here?”

“you need to learn how to be more patient” namjoon laughs when you squirm your way in between him and his front door

it’s hard to unlock the door when you’re pressing kisses to his neck aNd tugging at his shirt at the same time

“you need to learn how to find your damn keyS” you groan and tug at his belt

the moment namjoon unlocks the door he pushes you in and the keys clatter to the ground

“now look who needs to learn how to be patient” you squeal when he lifts you up in one swift movement and wraps your legs around his waist

“it’s still you” namjoon murmurs against your mouth and you bite down on his lip in retaliation

he grins and squeezes the underside of your thigh causing you to giggle

“stoP i’m ticklish there” you murmur and namjoon raises a brow

you pull away and jab a finger into his chest “don’t even thiNK about it”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about” namjoon shrugs innocently as he begins the small trek to the bedroom

you don’t know how he hasn’t dropped you yet

like ya you knew he was strong but you didn’t know he was thiS strong

your fingers wrap around his bicep and you give a testing squeeze and you feel a ziP of heat down there when he flexes underneath your fingers

o fuk

you fall onto the mattress and it bounces under your weight and the next thing you know namjoon is hovering over you

“c’mere, you” namjoon breathes out and leans down to press his plump lips against yours

he grunts when you roll your hips against his and let out a whimper

frick

he wants to hear you make more noises for him  

“wait wait wait” you breathe out and pull away from joon

“what’s wrong?” namjoon sits up immediately

what did he do???? o god

he fucked up what did he DO

you reach over to the bedside table and namjoon’s like ??

namjoon blinks quickly as you slip his glasses onto his face

“as much as i liked bad boy namjoon i miss my bookworm”

“do you find visual impairment sexy?” namjoon adjusts his glasses and crinkles his nose

adoraBLE

you giggle and lean in to kiss him again

namjoon jumps when he feels your hands tugging at his belt and he immediately reaches down and wraps his fingers around your wrist

“what are you doing?” he breathes out and you move down and start pressing kisses to his neck

“taking your pants off”

well like

he knOWs what you’re doing he just

he doesn’t want to like,, pressure you into doing stuff because he rly likes u and u guys haven’t been together for thAt long

“we don’t have to-“

“why? are you a virgin?” you tease and namjoon scowls playfully as you continue to undo his belt “because i can be gentle with you!”

okay

he doesn’t like this game

“maybe we should get some chocolate covered strawberries and champagne?”

you continue your little jokes even as namjoon pushes you down gently on the bed

your head flops against the pillows

“you want me to light some candles?” you giggle when namjoon gives the side of your bum a smack after peeling your leggings off and tossing them aside

“oh yeah, i love candles. i especially love those vanilla scented ones.” namjoon tilts his head before peeling his shirt off and tossing it aside

you pause in your teasing for a second to admire joon’s sun-kissed tanned god-like skin

you want to take a bite out of his biceps

“maybe we can take a bubble bath or something? to ease your nerves” you coo and poke his nose when he slots himself in between your legs and leans down with his hands on either side of your head

“that does sound nice. i’m trembling with nerves, after all” namjoon sighs and buries his face into the crook of your neck and starts pressing kisses to your skin

“don’t worry - i’ll be gentle with you” you mutter and namjoon snorts before biting down on your shoulder playfully  

oh god

you’re on cloud nine right now

“oh, namjoon,” you gasp and dig your nails into the nape of his neck

your back arches against his chest when he thrusts into you again

your toes curl into the mattress

you’ve never had sex like this before

it’s a slow slow burn and you can already tell that this is the best orgasm you’re ever going to have

“you feel so good” namjoon moans lowly and his raspy voice “s-so warm n tight and you’re all mine- nngh- fuck,”

“oh my god namjoon”  you whimper breathily and your finger dig into his back

namjoon brushes his lips over yours in an almost kiss as he struggles to breathe because you feel so good around him

your vocabulary is very limited at the moment just because your mind is clouded with lust and you can’t focus on anything besides namjoon namjoon namjoon

“good?” namjoon leans down and presses his forehead against yours before his hand is slithering in between your legs

“good, s-so good,” you whine and arch your back against him

he keeps at a steady pace and continues to build up the pleasure and the tingling sensation and your toes curl into the mattress

“nam-namjoon- i-i’m-“ you choke over your words as you finally fall apart beneath him his eyes are hazy with pleasure and his pupils are so dilated that they’ve basically swallowed all colour in his eyes

“i’ve got you, you’re okay,” namjoon murmurs as he starts planting soft kisses along your jawline and then down your neck

the next thing you know you’re seeing stars and you’ve officially been reduced to a trembling whimpering mess

namjoon manages four and a half more thrusts before he’s letting out a groan as his orgasm slams into him suddenly

he gives you one last kiss before rolling off of you

you immediately cuddle up to his chest and the two of you share a moment of silence where you’re just processing what the heck just happened

“…not bad for a virgin, eh?” namjoon grins and you snort against his chest before whacking his arm gently

“c’mon, i think i promised you a bubble bath”

you love your handsome boyfriend

but those thick square frames of his makes him look like such a dork (which makes you love him even more)

sometimes he leaves them on the counter because he says wearing them too much gives him migraines

and you like to take advantage of the situation

“i’m namjoon and i can’t walk five steps without tripping over my feet!” you imitate namjoon and the boys burst out into laughter and you can’t help but feel a sense of pride not only because you know your impression is spot on but it’s also funny as hell

“i’m namjoon and i keep stale candies in my pocket like a grandpa”

another round of laughter and you’re feeling good

“hey wait - where are you guys going??? i haven’t even gotten to the good ones ye-“

you jump when you feel an arm slither around your waist and suddenly you’re being pulled into a hard chest

“i’m namjoon and you’re in big trouble when we get off from work today”

boyfriends usually find it sexy when their girlfriends wear an article of their clothing

and sure you’ve stolen a couple of joonie’s tees and hoodies and he thinks you look adorable drowning in his clothes

but nothing gets him going more than seeing you wear his glasses

especially when you wear them while you’re riding him  

you know that saying

gentleman on the streets but freak in the sheets

namjoon is the epitome of that saying

“nNgh- na- namjoon! ah, joon, fuck-“ namjoon’s glasses slide down until they’re on the tip of your nose and namjoon groans at the sight

his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips and he bucks his hips making you cry out in pleasure

“fuck, look at you, falling apart on my cock - oh, you like it when i talk to you like this? naughty little girl” he reaches up to grasp your chin and presses his lips against yours

in conclusion: nothing gets him going more than seeing you wear his glasses

namjoon’s pretty proud of the fact that he gave you a new appreciation for books

because you’re reading a new book like eveRy week which is great

but now he’s starting to think that you might like books more than you like him

and he’s not typically the kind of person who whines because he thinks whining is annoying and won’t get you anywhere

but you are turning him into a whiney person because of your new infatuation with books

“joon, stop,” you scowl and push him away when he rests his head on your shoulder and starts reading along with you

you like to read alone and he knows that but he likes being near you!!!!!!! and you’ve been silent for like an hour!!!!!! and he misses your voice!!!!! so SUE HIM

“but you’ve been reading for an hour and i’m bored” namjoon pouts and slumps down on the desk

you look down at him and your heart flutters at how cute he looks with his pillowy lips in a pout and his cheek squished against the desk

“well let me finish reading a couple more chapt-“

“a couple more?!” namjoon squawks and gets the attention of some people sitting near the counter

“-and then i’m all yours! it’s just getting to the good part. i don’t bother you when you’re working!”

“because when i’m working, you’re working too! and you actually interAct with me when we work” namjoon grumbles and sits up before grabbing a random book and flipping through it angrily

“well i’m taking a break”

“yEAh like your fifth break in two hours”

“watch the attitude mister”

“u watch youR attitude” namjoon huffs before wheeling back to his side of the counter

he turns and gives you his best angry-looking face and you snort before putting your book down because he looks like an angry puppy

you wheel over to him and rest your cheek on his shoulder and namjoon shakes you off

“have i not been giving you enough attention, hm?” you coo and link your arm with his before grabbing his hand

namjoon doesn’t respond and continues to click on the laptop but he doesn’t let go of your hand

it’s time to pull out

the biG GUNS

you immediately smoosh your lips against his cheek and assault him with kisses and namjoon can’t help but break out into a giggle

this is all he needs to stay happy!!! just kiSs him a couple times a hour and he won’t be whiney anymore

it’s not that hARD TO DO

he reaches up to cup your face and leans in to give you a soft peck before pointing to the book that you abandoned for him

“go and finish reading… bOokworm”

namjoon typically is very gentle when it comes to pretty much everything

when he’s rebinding books he does it with such delicacy and precision so that a page is never out of place

when he’s dusting shelves his wrist flicks so subtlety as to not knock any books over

when he holds your hand he intertwines your fingers with his and it makes you feel soft and cozy on the inside

but the namjoon that is currently in between your legs is not the same namjoon

and you love it

you gasp as namjoon’s fingers dig into the meat of your inner thighs to keep you planted firmly against the bed as you try to buck your hips

“joon, i c-can’t-“ you whimper and squirm underneath him

“yes you can, i know you can,” namjoon purrs and presses a kiss to your inner thigh before leaning down and burying his face in between your legs

he’s already made you cum twice with his fingers alone and now he wants to make you cum with his mouth

“nO namjoon please-“ you mewl and bury your fingers in his hair before yanking “please i need you so bad”

as much as namjoon would like to spend the rest of the day with his face buried in between your legs he knows you’re not going to last much longer so he’ll show some mercy

also he’s like buSting out of his pants so he needs to relieve himself too

#selfcare2k19

namjoon sighs before pulling away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand

he can’t help but smirk at the sight of you flopped on his bed with your hair in a halo around your head and your cheeks are flushed and your lips are swollen and your eyes are glassy

all because of him

“only because you’ve been such a good girl”

“i- oh!”

namjoon flips you over onto your stomach in one quick motion “and you’re going to continue being a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

you hear the gentle tinkering of his belt and the shuffling of his pants and you bite down on your bottom lip in anticipation

you nod quickly and prop yourself up onto your forearms

namjoon chuckles when you squirm and wiggle your bum against him “patience, jagi”

“i’ve been patient” you murmur into the crook of your elbow and namjoon smacks the side of your bum in warning

your eyes flicker up when you see namjoon’s hand reach out to grip onto the headboard

his other hand is on your hip and you freeze when you feel him easing himself in slowly

he starts off slow to let you adjust

but the moment you give him the green light

all hell breaks loose

namjoon begins fucking into you at a merciless pace and you can’t help but mewl and moan underneath him

you feel like your body isn’t even attached to your minD right now because you’ve never felt pleasure like this before

namjoon stays silent apart from his heavy breathing and the occasional grunt and if that’s not the sexiest sound in the entire world you don’t know what the hell is

“tell me who’s making you feel this good” namjoon growls into your ear and gives you a particularly hard thrust

“y-you, you are, i-i, oh god, namjoon-!“ you gasp and bury your head in the pillows

“up, baby” he warns you and wraps his arm under your stomach as he pulls you and straightens you out

your arms are shaking underneath you as you hold yourself up and namjoon leans down to press a kiss to the back of your neck

and then he’s placing his palm on the small of your back and continuing to push himself into you as deep as he possibly can

your orgasm practically obliterates your body when it finally comes

spots dot your vision and your fingers dig into the mattress and namjoon’s name continues to slip past your lips over and over again

you spasm uncontrollably around namjoon and that triggers his own orgasm because hoLy fuck you’re so warm and tight and-

namjoon pulls out and you feel splatters on the swell of your ass and you hear him groaning lowly as he finally relieves himself

you have no idea what’s happening

all you hear is white noise

all you feel are tingles up and down your spine

“you did such a good job, baby” you weren’t even aware that namjoon left to go to the washroom and now he’s cleaning you up with a warm rag “such a good girl for me” he coos and presses a kiss to your shoulder before he flips you over gently so that you’re on your back

he leans down to give you a sweet peck before nudging his nose against yours

honestly.,,.,. get u a man who can do both

“y/n!”

you look up from your phone and namjoon’s holding up the cataloguing notebook with a raised brow

“purple glitter pen??? seriously??” he says in a verY unimpressed manner

your eyes flicker over to the sheet before you look back at your frustrated boyfriend

“…you said you didn’t want me to use pink so i used purple”

namjoon suppresses a groan and pinches the bridge of his nose

some things never change

[daryls-dixon-antoni]

Chapter 33.) Service

"Mom, Hope's crying. I think she's hungry."

"Okay," I respond, softly.

"Mom, she needs you, I need you."

I look over at my son, ready to snap at him, when I hear Rick's voice call, "Anne, he's here, we need you."

My feet move before my brain processes why. I follow Rick to the gate seeing Negan talking with Spencer in front of Eugene and Rosita.

"I know I had to make a pretty strong first impression," I hear Negan say to Spencer as we get there. "Well, hello, there." He greets Rick once he see's him.

Rick doesn't respond and Negan glares, "Do not make me have to ask."

"You said a week," Rick says, opening the gate. "You're early."

Negan grins, "I missed you."

I see the dead approaching from behind Negan and hope he bites him.

Negan grins even wider and says, "Oh, Rick, come on out here." He starts backing up towards the dead. "Watch this. Calling it!"

He hits the dead with his bat and when I blink an image of Glenn's headless body, and Abraham's crushed in skull swims behind my eyelids. "Ha ha ha! Easy peasy lemon squeezy! All right, everybody. Let's get started." When I look to see the men he brought my heart drops seeing Daryl, beaten up and in loose fitting sweat clothes with a spray painted A on them. My head starts swimming, especially when I look towards the movement out of the corner of my eye to notice Mason carrying Hope towards us.

Towards Negan.

"Big day. Hey, Rick, you see that, what I just did? That is some service! I mean, we almost get turned away at the gate. 'Who is that guy, anyway?' Do I get mad? Do I throw a fit? Do I bash some ginger's dome in? Nope. I just take care of one of these dead pricks that could've killed one of y'all. Service." He walks forward and thrusts his bat into Rick's hand as he walks by saying, "Hold this."

"Hot diggity dog! This place is magnificent! An embarrassment of riches, as they say. Yes, sir, I do believe you are gonna have plenty to offer up." As Negan's chuckling, I'm stood next to Rick, with Mason behind me and Hope in my arms.

Rick walks towards Daryl saying, "Daryl, hey-"

Negan steps forward and sternly cuts him off, "No. Nope. He's the help."

I step forward timidly, "Can I at least introduce him to his daughter?" I can hear my blood flowing through my ears as I ask. Hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't hurt a newborn. I mostly said it to let Daryl know the baby is okay. That she made it.

"No. You don't look at him, you don't talk to him, and I don't make you chop anything off of him. Same goes for everyone," he practically sings as he aproaches Rosita, “Right?”

He then approaches Rick again and says, "A lot of suspense there. I don't think she even knew how much. All right, let's get this show on the road. See what kind of goodies you got in the cupboard."

"We put aside half the supplies," Rick says.

"No, Rick. No. You don't decide what we take. I do." He turns to his people, "Arat."

A woman with blond hair that hasn't been died in ages yells, "You heard the man. Move out!" His people start walking forward and Negan turns back to Rick.

"They're just gonna search the houses a bit, keep the process movin'." He sighs, "All right. You gonna show me around or not?" When Rick doesn't respond he says, "Well?"

Rick starts moving, and I hand Hope to Mason and whisper, "Try to stay as far away from anyone that isn't ours, keep her safe."

He nods quickly before asking, "Does Daryl count as the people I have to avoid?"

I nod, "For now, yes. Now go."

I quickly follow behind Rick and Negan, knowing that was Rick's request earlier.

As we walk we see some men carrying an arm chair out of one of the homes as Negan says, cheerily, "You see this? This is the kind of thing that just tickles my balls. A little cooperation and everything is pleasant as punch. You see, we really are reasonable people once you get to know us. Honest." He opens a cooler and grabs a can of something, opens it, drinks it then crushes it. "Ohh, Man. Damn, I love this place!"

A man calls his name and approaches with Deanna's camera. "Somethin' you might wanna see."

"Well, well, well." Negan cheers, "What do we have here? I got my fingers crossed for a little freaky-deaky."

He starts playing Rick's tape from the interviews with Deanna. The ones from when we first arrived here, "know me. I've killed people. I don't even know how many by now."

"Jee-hee-sus!" Negan says, looking at the camera.

"But I know why they're all dead." Rick’s voice continues.

"Is that you, Rick, underneath all that man-bush?"

The tape keeps playing, "They're dead so my family, all those people out there, can be alive."

"Shee-ot. I would not have messed with that guy." He clicks the camera and starts recording, "But that's not you anymore is it?" He turns the camera to himself, "Nope." He turns the camera off. "I really gotta shave this shit.” He says, about his facial hair. “Whatever happened to that sick girl? That seemed like a hell of a stressful night for her. The way she was carrying on; she was married to number two, right?" He continues, "Careful. Careful how you're lookin' at me, Rick. Widows, especially ones that look like that," he breathes out and I start shaking slightly. "They are special. I love 'em. Right after their husbands go, they are just... empty inside. But usually not for long." He chuckles, "Ahh. Where is she? I would love to see her."

"Do you care to pay your respects?" I turn to see Father Gabriel has approached us.

"Ho-ly crap! You are creepy as shit, sneaking up on me, wearin' that collar with that freaky-ass smile."

"My apologies. I'm Father Gabriel."

Negan pauses, looking taken aback, "She didn't make it?" None of us respond, not giving him the satisfaction.

We end up in the cemetary and I have to try my hardest not to let Daryl know that Maggie's fine.

"Damn tragedy. That's what this is." Negan breathes deeply. "Well, this must really suck for you guys. Number one? That was on me. No choice there. Lessons had to be learned. But number two? That didn't need to happen. Daryl, there, he forced my hand." I bite my lip so I don't correct him. Don't get anyone killed. "Probably put her right on her back, huh? Damn. I was gonna ask her to come back with me. Oh, I know what you're thinkin'. How could I have a shot, guy that just bashed her husband's head in?" He chuckles, "You'd be surprised. Boy, people, they-" he's cut off by the distant sound of a gunshot. Negan starts walking away and as we get to the house where the sound came from, I see it's ours.

Once we make it in the room we hear one of Negan's men say, "Kid what do you think happens next?"

"You die," Carl responds, aiming a gun at the man.

"Carl. Carl, put it down." Rick begs.

"No. He's taking all of our medicine. They said only half our stuff."

Negan chuckles, "Of course. Oh-ho. Really, kid?"

Carl turns to Negan, "And you should go. Before you find out how dangerous we all are."

"Well, pardon me, young man.

Excuse the shit out of my goddamn french, but did you just threaten me? Look, I get threatening Davey here, but I can't have it. Not him, not me."

"Carl, just put it down." Rick begs, again.

"Don't be rude, Rick. We are having a conversation here. Now, boy, where were we? Oh, yeah. Your giant, man-sized balls. No threatening us. Listen, I like you, so I don't want to go hard proving a point here. You don't want that. I said half your shit, and half is what I say it is. I'm serious. Do you want me to prove how serious? Again?"

"Carl, Hunny. Put the gun down." I whisper, gently.

Carl turns back to me briefly, before sighing and giving Rick the gun.

Negan takes it from Rick, "You know, Rick. This whole thing reminds me that you have a lot of guns. There's all the guns you took from my outpost when you wasted all my people with a shit-ton of your own guns. And I'm bettin' there's even more. Which adds up to an absolute ass-load of guns, and as this little emotional outburst just made crystal clear; I can't allow that. They're all mine now. So tell me, Rick. Where are my guns?"

We get to the armory, and Olivia stays calm, "I... figured you were coming.”

"Show him where the guns are, Olivia." Rick says.

"The armory's inside," she turns around and makes her way to the door leading into the actual armory.

"You run the show in here?" Negan asks.

She stops, turns half around, "I-I just keep track of it all, the rations, the guns."

"Good. Smart. Don't let me stop you. Take her out, boys. Show 'em the goods." She leads his men in and I go to follow but hesitate when I hear Negan say, "Wait, wait, wait. While they're at it, I just want to point out to you that I'm not taking a scrap of your food. Slim pickin's in here." I turn around. “And I can't be the only one to notice that you got a fat lady in charge of keeping track of rations, can I? Either way, you starve to death; I don't get shit. So, for now; you get to keep all the food. How 'bout that?"

"What do you want me to say?" Rick asks, hoarsely.

"I don't know, Rick. How about a thank you. You think that might be in order? Or is that too much to ask?!"

When Rick doesn't say anything I speak up, "It's hard ... for him, y'know... he was close to Glenn... even closer to D" I take a deep breath, "Daryl. You can understand?"

Negan laughs, "Ohh. I know we started off on the wrong foot, but what can I say?" He turns to look Rick in the eye, "You forced my hand, Rick. But it's like I've been tryin' to tell you; I'm a very reasonable man as long as you cooperate. So let me ask you a question, Rick. Are you cooperating?"

"What's it look like?" Rick asks.

"Oh-ho-ho. I know what it looks like. But what I really want to know is if we're gonna find all the guns back there or if maybe; you got a few just waitin' for their moment? Just like my Lucille."

"They're all in there, to the best of my knowledge."

"Mm. I am countin' on that, Rick." Negan brushes past me and into the Armory and Rick and I exchange looks.

"I had it handled," Rick whispers, angrily.

"No, you didn't. So I helped, that's why I'm here, right? I'm your temporary replacement for Daryl, right? Because you don't have it handled."

He gives me an almost shocked expression for my sharp tone. Yet, somehow I can’t find it in myself to care. He’s letting this man run our lives after he murdered our own, man napped Daryl, and now he just gets to walk around our home talking in his annoying ass sing-songy voice and lean around exaggeratedly without a care in the world.

"You know what today is, Rick? Today is a banner day. Yes, it is. I think this little arrangement we have is gonna work out just fine." I keep my breath held as Daryl comes out of the armory, helping Negan's men load up his vehicles.

"Hold up." I freeze completely, worried my glance in Daryl's direction was going to get him killed. Instead, Negan takes a grun from Daryl's pile and says, "Let's see if you've been taking care of my guns." He cocks the gun, aims it at Daryl and I feel the tears coming to my eyes as I watch as if in slow motion Daryl just continue working, as if he didn't have a gun on him.

When he shoots, he hits a window and not Daryl and I let out a choked breath.

"Feels good. Sounds good! Oh, I do believe Lucille's gettin' a little jealous. Well, ho-ly smokes!" He takes the rocket launcher that one of his men just retrieved. "Look at this! It was you guys that took out Little Timmy and the Dick Brigade? Wow, Rick. Gettin' in your last licks. Ooh, man, I'm gonna have some fun with this."

"Please, I-I don't know for-" when I look over to Olivia's distressed voice, I see the woman Negan had addressed earlier dragging Olivia up the stairs to the outside.

Negan looks at his woman and chastizes, "Arat, we don't do that unless they do somethin' to deserve it."

"Yeah, we went through the inventory. Guns in the armory, guns they had around the walls, they're short." She pulls Olivia's notebook out from underneeth her arm and hands it to Negan, "Glock 9 and a .22 Bobcat."

Negan turns to Olivia, "Is that true?" Olivia nods and Rick speaks up.

"We had some people leave town. Those guns probably went with them."

"So Olivia sucks at her job. Is that what you're sayin'?"

"No. No, I'm not sayin' that."

"There should be a full accounting here, right? Top to bottom. Am I right?"

"No," Olivia responds, surprising me. "I mean, yes. The inventory is correct."

"Good," Negan says, then steps closer to Olivia, "But not so good, too. You see, what's in here," he holds up her notebook, "isn't in there. You're two handguns short. Do you know where they are?"

"No... I..." she trails off.

Negan sighs, turning back to Rick, "That's disappointing, Rick. I thought that we had an understanding. But this, well, this shows that someone's not on board, and I can't have that." He gets even closer to Olivia and says, "I don't enjoy killing women. Men; I can waste them all the live long. But at the end of the day, Olivia, my dear, this was your responsibility."

"Look," Rick interrupts, "we can work this out."

"Oh, yes, we can. And I'm going to; right now." Olivia whimpers, "This was your job, and you screwed up. Keeping track of guns? That shit is life and death."

We are in the church with the town of Alexandria. Rick's at the front speaking, "I thought about hiding some of the guns. I did it before. I figured I could bury some out there," he points outside of the church. "Maybe we don't touch them for years."

"Years?" Tobin asks.

"Yeah. That's right. But what if the Saviors find those guns? What if we run into them when we have those guns on us? One of us dies. Maybe more than that. Maybe a lot more. Doesn't matter how many bullets we have. It isn't enough. They win. It's that black-and-white. Hiding a couple of guns isn't the answer, not anymore. We don't have to like it, but we need to give them over. A Glock 9 and a .22. That's what they're looking for. Who has it? Someone knows where they are or they know who does. If we don't find them, they're gonna kill Olivia. They'll do it."

One of the townspeople stands up and asks, "Why do they care? Two guns aren't a threat to them. But those guns could help protect us from whatever else is out there."

"Do you have 'em?" Rick asks.

"Wish I did," the man responds, sitting back down.

"Most of you weren't there. You didn't have to watch."

I stand up, "They killed Abraham to get a point across. They killed Glenn because Daryl stood up to them. They bashed Glenn's head in. To the point he didn't even have one.”

Rick puts a hand up, "That's enough Anne." When I sit back down next to Mason, Rick continues, "Listen, you can look away now; when someone else dies. Or you can help solve this. We give them what they want, and we live in peace."

Eric stands up, "Say we find the guns. How are we gonna get out of this, Rick?"

"There is no way out of this," Rick responds. "Let me put this to all of you as clearly as I can. I'm not in charge anymore. Negan is. Now, who has the guns?"

It's silent for a long time before Eugene speaks up, "Not everyone's here."

I'm in Spencer’s house with Rick, he's looking everywhere for the guns while I watch.

Gabriel comes in and says, "Nothing. Still. I just, I feel like I know this is going to work out."

"How?" Rick asks, still searching.

"We'll find the guns. We'll get through today. Then we'll find a way to go forward, how to beat this."

"There is no beating this."

"Yes, there is, somehow. I have faith in us. I have faith in you. Things change. You're my friend. It wasn't always that way. Where's Michonne? Could she possibly have-"

"She doesn't have anything they're lookin' for." Rick states, standing up. "What you did with the graves, it was quick thinkin'. Thank you."

"It was nice digging a grave I knew would stay empty." Gabe says as Aaron comes in.

"No luck?" Aaron asks.

"Nope," I respond.

"We searched the house, Rosita's. There's nothing. So what do we do now?"

"If they were anywhere, they'd be here." Rick says. "Spencer's done this kind of thing before. We keep looking. Maybe today works out."

"I'll check the garage," Aaron says, walking away.

"I'll look in Deanna's office again." Gabe agrees.

"I guess I'm rechecking upstairs." I say, heading up the stairs.

Once Rick found the guns, we head outside to see one of Negan's men pesturing Enid.

"Balloons? You going to a party, little girl?"

"Can I keep them, please?" Enid asks, "It's just... Let me keep them."

"Say please again, little girl."

"Please."

"Yeah," he puts a finger on her cheek and I have to look away as I hear him say, "One more time."

"Please," Enid responds, sharply.

"Be careful, little girl."

"They'll be gone soon," Rick whispers, and when I turn I see the judgement in Carl's eyes.

"Come on, Rick. Let's go give the guns to Negan." I say.

He nods and we approach Negan who says, "What you got for me, Rick?" Rick hands him the guns. "Well, would you look at that? They were here after all. Funny how a little 'Holy shit! Somebody's gonna die!' lights a fire under everybody's ass!"

Olivia starts crying, so instinctively I walk over and put an arm comfortably around her as Negan continues.

"So, tell me, Rick. Which one of your fine folks almost cost Olivia the rest of her days?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," Rick says.

"No, it matters. See, you need to get everybody on board. Everybody. Or we just go right back to square one."

They finally start leaving, and there is nothing I want more than to get to walk over to Daryl and hug him, have him pull me in and tell me everything is going to be okay.

"Hell of a place you got here, Rick." Negan says.

"Give me a second," I hear Rick ask.

"No," is Negan's response. I have yet to take my eyes off of Daryl.

"Please, can you just... give me a second?"

Negan starts humming and when Rick comes back, Michonne is with him, a dead deer around her shoulders.

"Look at this!" Negan cheers.

"I thought she was scavenging." Rick says, "She was hunting." I watch in horror as Rick gives Negan a rifle, "This one never came inside. We kept it near the line."

"Look at this. This is something to build a relationship on. Good for you, Rick. This is readin' the room and gettin' the message. I've said it before, I'm gonna say it again. You, sir are special."

"Now that you know we can follow your rules..."

"Yes?" Negan asks, almost singing.

"I'd like to ask you if Daryl can stay." I look gratefully at Rick.

"Not happenin'."

"Please, he has a newborn."

"You know what? I don't know. Maybe Daryl can plead his case. Maybe Daryl can sway me." Daryl keeps his eyes down. "Daryl?" When Daryl still keeps his eyes on the ground I step forward.

"Daryl, come on!" I beg.

Negan chuckles, "Well, you tried. Now what you got to do is get over that tall wall of yours and try harder out there. Earn for me. Because we're coming back soon, and when we do, you better have something interesting for us. Or Lucille... she's gonna have her way. I want you to hear that again. If you don't have something interesting for us. Somebody's gonna die. And no more magic guns. Arat, grab that deer. It's getting late. Let's go home." Michonne throws the deer down.

"Man, I love a gal that buys me dinner and doesn't expect me to put out." I hear Negan chuckle.

We watch Spencer bring Dwight Daryl's bike.

"I'll take that," Dwight says. "Rosita! Got a little thank-you. That's all you're getting back. Took all your guns, most of your beds. I hope you find a place to lay your pretty little head." He gets on Daryl's bike and says, "Did you find anything else out there?"

"Just your dead friends," Rosita shoots back, and walks away.

Dwight revs up Daryl's bike and for a moment I'm brought back to the memory of me riding with Daryl to lead the dead away from Alexandria. How it felt to be so close to his body as we helped our community.

I watch in disgust as he rides over to Daryl and says, "You can have it back. Just say the word." When Daryl doesn't respond, Dwight rides off.

"So, nobody died." Negan says to Rick. "And you know what I think? I think you and I, we've refined our understanding. Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you want me to go?"

"I think that'd be good." Rick says.

"Then just say those two magical words."

"Thank you," Rick says.

Negan laughs, "Don't be ridiculous. Thank you."

As another of the dead makes his way towards our community, Negan says, "Another one. You need our help. Davey, hand me that candlestick over there." The man called Davey hands it over. "You know what I think, Rick? I think we're both gonna come out of this winners. Watch my form!" He cleans out the walker in one swing.

"Ahh. Yep," he turns back to us. "Win-win." He drops the candlestick. "You should clean that up for me for next time. Let's move out!" His men start moving. "Oh, wait." Negan chuckles, turning back around, "How careless of me. You didn't think I was gonna leave Lucille, did ya? I mean, after what she did, why would you want 'er?" He takes the bat back, "Thank you for being so accommodating, friend." I watch as Negan whispers something in Rick's ear.

Then they leave, vehicle after vehicle, the last one taking Daryl away with it.

I stare as Rick closes the gates behind them, and then he approaches Spencer, "Spencer. We took the guns you had in your house. The Saviors wanted ours, all of them. There were two missing from the inventory. They were gonna kill Olivia." Spencer doesn't respond so Rick says his name.

"You went into my house?" Spencer asks.

"They were gonna kill Olivia. Look, I'm not faulting you for having the guns. I did it myself. But the food and liquor?" Rick sighs, "That's 'cause you're small, Spencer. You're weak. You got lucky with the walls. You got lucky with us." Rick starts walking away.

"We should've made a deal with them when we could've." Spencer shouts after Rick. "Oh, yeah, we're so lucky. You've led us all to the Promised Land! Isn't that right, Rick?! Here we are! I guess Glenn and Abraham were lucky, too?"

Rick stops, doesn't turn around and threatens, "You say anything like that again to me, I'll break your jaw, knock your teeth out. You understand? Say yes."

"Yes." Spencer starts walking back.

I follow after Rick to go back to my room.

There's no bed in there anymore, but they left the playpen for Hope.

When Mason walks in holding her, he sits on the floor next to me, "You know why I wanted you to name her Hope?"

I nod, "Because we need hope?"

He shakes his head, "Because you need a reminder to have hope. Ever since this started, when we lost Tonia; you started going on runs alone. When the prison fell and we were reunited, you wouldn't even let me out of this house. You are always so scared of the next bad thing, Mom. Well, this is the worst bad thing that's happened and you don't have any hope. But Hope and I need you to have hope. We need you to be here, to keep us safe."

I nod, "Okay."

[amphetameme-queen-blog]

If you slip up...

Here’s my master list of how to take care of yourself after a b/p, stay strong my lovelies!

1. Physical Damage Control

Teeth -

It's usually a warning sign to have bad teeth as someone less than seventy years old. It's a 'classic' symptom of bulimia and I've heard a lot of (rookies) swear by brushing their teeth. DON'T FUCKIN DO IT MAN. I used to b/p anywhere between three to ten times a day at my worst, but I always kept a handy supply of TUMS or antacids on me. Your teeth become weakened when you b/p in the first place, so the abrasiveness of toothbrush bristles tends to wear down on your enamel. I never brushed my teeth after I would purge, and I've been b/p'ing on and off for about four years now. Like I said - ten times a day at the worst. I went to the dentist last month and they said that my teeth were like, perfect. It was actually shocking. Thank god for chemistry I suppose.

So how does it work? Well, the calcium carbonate (the main ingredient of TUMS) neutralizes the hydrochloric acid (stomach acid) on our teeth like it would in our stomach. It's basically a high school chemistry equation.

CaCO3+ HCl -> CaCl2 + CO2 + H2O.

The symptoms you'll get (after an antacid) is basically just burping up the CO2 lol. It's much more preferable to tooth decay, might I say. OH and if you don't have any antacids on you, baking soda works in the same way. Just put a teaspoon of baking soda into water, swish it around your mouth, and spit it out. It doesn't taste great, but you could probably mix it with a little alcohol-free toothpaste so it tastes more minty. I highly recommend against swallowing baking soda because it will most likely irritate your stomach and make you even more nauseous, and not in an emetic way. (Ana butterflies don't get any stupid ideas it's not gonna work like you think). Swallowing baking soda just makes you kind of uncomfortable, really.

Y'all need to floss too. I sound like I've got a major stick up my ass, because who actually flosses flossing is for old people and l0zers fuck that shit. Nope. Flossing once before you go to bed helps your teeth against yellowing, in my experience. I wouldn’t recommend flossing post-purge as your gums tend to be much more sensitive. ‘Cuz who’s trynna get gingivitis yeah no one.

Sinuses -

​Remember that time you (regrettably) b/p’d on rice? And you felt that rice grain up there and took a napkin and blew fuckin snot rice into your napkin, like the sexy beast you are?

Yeah I remember that too.

It’s pretty apparent that stomach acid anywhere besides your stomach is a recipe for havoc. The stomach acid eats away at the mucous membranes in your nose, leading to constant sniffling, loss of smell, and chronic sinus infections. Even if you don't feel irritation in your nose immediately following a b/p, the acid can still lead to damage.

So how do you remedy this?

From my experience, the Neti-Pot saline rinse is the best bet. You can use the one that looks like a tea kettle or the one that's a squeezy bottle - both do the same thing. I have the squeezy bottle and it's really simple to use. You add water up to the fill line

And then you pour the saline packet into the bottle and mix thoroughly (just shake the bottle). Be sure to use FILTERED DRINKING WATER because tap water often contains heavy metals like copper or iron, which isn't good for your nose. Then put the plastic bottle with the saline-water solution into the microwave for approximately 35 seconds, and be careful to make sure it isn't too hot. Make sure it's just slightly warm and then screw the cap on tightly. Lean over a sink and gently squeeze the bottle into one nostril until the water comes out the other. Don't worry, it doesn't provoke the dreaded “oh god there's water in my nose I feel like I'm drowning” feeling. Your sinuses are connected and because the water is warm (like body temperature) it won't come as a shock to your body. Repeat the process on both nostrils until the bottle is done.

I've had actual chunks of food come out of my nose before, and I'm like, “shit, that would have just been hangin out in my nose the entire time?” So it's really important for preventing sinus infections or acid damage to the nasal cavity.

​Electrolyte Imbalances -

​If I had a dollar for the amount of times I've seen THAT PICTURE of the dead bulimic girl I would be richer than Donald Trump. Yeah, she died from gastric rupture blah blah blah but I always see blogs referencing that picture with the danger of heart failure and death in bulimics.

Despite how frequently I used to purge, I'm not dead yet! Hurray I guess! I used to get serious heart palpitations after a long day of purging, but I could mitigate some of those side effects with proper hydration and electrolyte drinks.

I ain't talkin no purple Gatorade shit either. Gatorade isn't as hydrating as one would think. It's made for athletes who are working out and sweating, and releasing salt through their skin. Gatorade replenishes the sodium and sugar, but if you're not working out/sweating a lot, the extra sodium could cause water retention *panics* The best option for electrolyte-replenishing is coconut water, in my opinion. It's naturally high in potassium, which is the principle electrolyte lost by vomiting. Pedialyte takes a close second for hydration because it's designed to replenish electrolytes, like if you have the flu or something. You can buy Pedialyte over the counter at most (American) pharmacies.

Electrolytes are important in muscle contraction, which includes the heart. This is why many bulimics die from heart attacks

Of course, the best way to get potassium is through potassium-rich foods. Some examples:

Avocado

Acorn squash

Spinach

Sweet potato

Wild-caught salmon

Dried apricots

Pomegranate

Coconut water

White beans

Banana

Source: Dr. Axe

Y'all also gotta be mindful of your magnesium too. Magnesium is lost (most notably) through diarrhea and thus laxative abuse. Here's how to remember the electrolytes:

Potassium is lost through Purging and Magnesium is lost by taking Mega Shits.

I'm laughing bahahah but I shouldn't be because the magnesium thing is no joke.

2. Psychological Damage Control

The Post Purge Freakout-

​Quit playin. You know what I’m talkin’ about, that anxiety like fuck fuck fuck what did I just do I’m a worthless human I deserve to-

Stop.

These thoughts seem real, like ground-breaking realizations that affirm your worthlessness and desire to continue hurting yourself with ED behaviors. Diffusing these thoughts feels like the hardest thing to do in the moment, of course, but self-care is one of the most important factors in preventing another episode. I’m not trying to be some over-simplifying, self-righteous therapist who thinks that mindfulness is the only way out ‘it’s all about positive self talk, honey!’ Nah fam, anyone who’s dealt with the vicious cycle of bulimia knows it’s not that fuckin’ easy, and so I’m not trying to sugarcoat the fact that post-b/p self-care can be really goddamn difficult.

The best post-b/p self care I’ve implemented is putting on cozy pajamas (if you’re at home) and just taking a five minute break from what you’re doing to listen to music, draw/write, or go on a short walk. Let yourself feel comfy and secure, like being wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket. Give yourself just five minutes to collect your feelings, and realize that a past slip-up can’t determine the future. Because that’s all it is - in the past. What’s in the past is done, and no amount of hateful self talk or self-injury will change that. But what you do in the present is what matters. Think about it as a fork in the road -

“Okay, so I just binged and purged, I have urges to hurt myself or compensate for what I just did, but what will happen if I don’t do either of those things?”

Nothing.

You might panic. You might cry. Let the tears come, if you are in a safe place where you feel you can do so. We know that the day might have sucked, but time stops for no one. The next thing you know, it’s the next morning. The sun is shining through your window, you are alive and your body is resilient. BOI IT’S A NEW FUCKIN DAY! YESTERDAY WAS A CAN OF SHIT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, TODAY DOESN’T HAVE TO BE. The important thing is that you lived through those horrible feelings, and you’ll remember that. You’re stronger, more resilient, and persistent than you think. You don’t even have to be in recovery to apply this. That’s not what I’m getting at. If you’re pursuing a goal, whether it be eating at regular intervals or meeting a certain calorie limit, there are going to be times you might mess up. And good god, it is absolutely okay.

Imagine yourself going to bed the next night, realizing that you had your first binge free, purge free day since you could remember. Knowing that you fought your urge to b/p will help you remember that next time, “hey, I’m stronger than my urges.”

I guess what I’m emphasizing here is self-forgiveness. I know a lot of people’s ED’s are driven by self-hatred and you’re all such beautiful human beings who deserve to love yourself as others love you. Wow. That got really deep real fast. But hey, I’ve been through it all.

~

Yo. I'm gonna add more to this, but only if people are interested in my ED-related writing. I'm actually working on a blog right now but I figured I might as well post some stuff here for feedback. PLEASE comment I would love to hear from you guys. 'Do I write like a sappy self-help book'? 'Is it relatable and/or helpful?' Let me know in a comment or DM what you're feelin about it. Sending hugs!

[classic-rock-roller]

1. You and Tom and Kevin are joining Bonham in the Game Grumps studio for filming of the 10 minute power hour. They have the schedule set so that you each are guests individually except Tom because he doesn’t like it. You all watch the recording when each other is serving as a guest, and when it’s Bonham’s turn they are doing each other’s makeup. At one point she is working on Danny and says, “Your fucking hair is in the way, hang on.” She holds his hair back like a headband, and sits on his lap to get a better view. None of them are making a big deal out of it, but Kevin is visibly fuming in the seat next to you. He says to you, “Can I please tell her to get off of him? I don’t like how this looks.” Arin says to him past the camera, “Dude she’s putting children’s makeup on him for a shitty YouTube show, you can’t honestly be jealous right now.” How does Kevin respond, and what do you, Tom, Danny and Bonham say?

Kevin: Of course I am. Have you seen how beautiful his hair is?!

Danny: Why thank you, Kevin. I use coconut oil and special shampoo.

He flips his hair which messes up Bons. 

Bons: Knock it off, Danny. I gotta do this. 

Tom: (under his breath) This is so stupid. 

I pat his thigh. 

Me: Just let us enjoy the stupidity, Tommy. 

2. You and Bonham and Tom and Nikki are standing offstage at a Quiet Riot show, and you’re all loving it. At one point Nikki says to Bonham, “I dare you to go out there right now.” “What no, are you insane? I’m not interrupting a show.” Tom looks at you and says, “Watch this.” then turns to Bonham, pushes her out onto the stage and says, “Yes you are!” She stumbles out onstage and instinctively freezes. Kevin is jumping around and sees her, and he shouts into the mic, “There she is! Look at my girlfriend! Kiss me you scandalous bitch!” What happens and what do you, Tom, and Nikki say?

She is still frozen. I go out and go to pull her back in and Kevin goes, “Look! My best gal pal too. Hey Tom! Get out here! Kiss your girlfriend!” Nikki Pushes Tom out and we’re all kind of standing there. I peck Tom on the lips and then pull Bons backstage again. Kevin screams, “Ladies and Gentlemen, my wonderful girlfriend and Mr. and Mrs. Keifer.” I glare at Tom after we get backstage again and go, “You’re a fucking asshole” before taking Bons to a chair so she can calm down because it looks like she’s going to faint. 

Tom(following after me): come on, honey! You know I meant nothing by it. 

Nikki has been cackling since Tom pushed Bons onstage.  

3. You’re returning from a hot date with your college boyfriend when you see Bonham scurrying back to your dorm with a trash bag full of instant coffee packets, but they’re all empty. You ask what she’s doing and she says, “All will be revealed in due time.” Later that night, there’s an angry knock on your door. Bonham answers calmly and says, “Hey Vince, what’s up?” He pushes her squarely in the chest, and she topples over. He stands over top of her and says, “Don't play dumb with me you fucking bitch! What did you do to my room?” She says, “You mean why are there nine hundred instant coffee packets spilled in everything you own? It can’t possibly be because you stole all my underwear, so in that case I’m stumped.” Her sarcasm is just pissing him off. How do you react to hearing what she did, and what does Vince say about the situation? What does his roommate Tommy say when he gets back?

I’m giggling and Vince glares at me. “You know I could just tell the RA your boyfriend is in your room when he shouldn’t be.” He glares at Bons, “You’re helping me clean it up.” Tommy thinks it’s funny because none of his stuff was touched. 

4. AVERT YOUR EYES KIDDOS AND STAFF YA FUCKIN SQUARES

You’re sitting with Tom on your couch one day and after a while you both get bored so you start kissing. Things are getting pretty intense, and finally Tom tells you, “Touch yourself.” “What?” you say. “Don’t play coy. Touch yourself. I want to watch.” How do you respond, and what does Tom do?

Me: Uhh, no way. You know I don’t even normally do that when you’re not here and you know it makes me uncomfortable. 

He pulls me in for a kiss.

Tom: Then I guess both of us’ll have fun instead. 

5. You’ve been with Tom for a couple of months now, and Bonham’s been helping Kevin out. He’s been out of rehab for a couple of weeks, and the four of you are hanging out for the first time. It’s been a tough week and you’re all tired, so you end up dozing off. At one point you hear Kevin make an uncomfortable noise and Tom says, “What’s the matter DuBrow?” He makes the same noise again and says, “Nothing I’m……fine…” You open your eyes a little bit and see that Bonham fell asleep across his lap, and she’s got her chest directly on his lap. You soon put two and two together and figure out why he’s uncomfortable. They don’t know you’re awake yet. Do you say anything? What does Tom say? Does Kevin move Bonham?

I don’t say anything but I get up to get something to drink and Tom says, “You’re in a real predicament there aren’t you, DuBrow?” Kevin doesn’t move her. He just sits there until she wakes up. 

6. AVERT YOUR EYES STAFF kids idc so much this one ain’t  so bad

Your band and Cinderella are getting ready to film a video together. Kevin is there too. At one point, Tom accidentally runs into a secretary and just says, “Sorry.” Kevin says to Bonham, “That Tom guy is so stoic I don’t know how he and BabyCarrot are going to have a kid.” Bonham says, “Oh what ever, he’s just as much of a sex fiend as you, he can just hide it.” “No way, I’ll bet you fifty bucks that he’s a complete prude.” Kevin says. “You’re on,” Bonham says. “And I got just the way to prove it.” (you are unaware of this whole conversation, this is just for context). Bonham comes up to you and Kevin is off to the side. She’s trying to open one of those squeezy water bottles. “I can’t get this open, can you? Maybe Tom can. Hey Tom! C’mere!” He walks over and says, “What?” “We can’t get this open, can you–ooooooooooopsss…” Bonham grabs the bottle from you and says an exaggerated ‘oops’ and squeezes the bottle super hard, soaking your shirt. You were getting ready so you don’t have a bra on. “What the hell!” you say. “Oh no, now you’re soaking wet!” Bonham says exaggeratedly, “I’d better get a towel!” she walks off, and when she comes back and hands it to you, she says to Tom, “Help your wife clean up!” and thrusts the towel at him. He starts to dry you off and then when it’s time for you to change your shirt he says, “I’ll uh…be right back.” “What was that all about?” you ask Bonham. She says, “Oh nothing, I’m just clumsy but Tom seemed REALLY HOT AND BOTHERED ABOUT THAT.” She shouts the last part over her shoulder and you see Kevin fume before coming over. “Alright you win.” He says. How do you respond? Who explains what’s going on? WHo are you more mad at?

Me: What do you mean? What’s going on? 

Kevin: Bons bet me that Tom was as much of a sex fiend as I am and I told her she was wrong so she had to prove me wrong. 

I smirk at them, “Of course he is. Where do you think the two of us were earlier for a half hour?” 

Kevin’s mouth is hanging open after i grab Bons arm and pull her away for sound check. 

7. You and Bonham and Kevin and Tom are visiting a community college to do a talk with the students. You’re walking down the science hall when a terrible droning buzz comes over the intercom. “ATTENTION ATTENTION. THIS IS A LOCKDOWN. PLEASE SEEK SAFETY. LOCK YOUR DOORS AND TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS. A POLICE OFFICER WILL RELEASE YOU WHEN IT IS SAFE TO COME OUT. ATTENTION ATTENTION…” this continues on a loop. Your tour guide, the dean of students, pulls you four into a science supply closet and locks the door. THe announcement hasn’t said whether or not this is a drill, so you’re all a bit confused. You’re all sitting in the closet, the only light coming from the eerie green exit sign. Bonham and Kevin are sitting on the floor, you’re sitting on the counter, and Tom is pacing around. After fifteen minutes, Tom turns to the dean and says, “So when’s this drill up? We’ve got shit to do.” Just as he’s finished talking, you hear a pop come from the hallway. The dean just looks at him and says, “If this was a drill the announcement would have said so. Someone’s in here.” More pops sound. Bonham kinda squeaks and grabs Kevin’s hand. Tom really quickly yanks you off the counter and puts his arm around you. How do the four of you respond to what the dean said? How long does it last? What happens when you come out?

Tom: Seriously?!

Kevin: You should have better security. 

I’m hyperventilating and trying to keep myself calm and I go over and hug Bons. 

We all just sit there and wait for like an eternity which was actually only 20 minutes when it’s over and we can come out, we find out they caught the crazy guy and no one was killed, thank god. 

8. You and Bonham and Kevin and Tom are getting ready to go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. You and Tom are ready to go but you hear Bonham tell Kevin, “No, you are not wearing that.” “Why not? It’s fine.” “Kevin I love you but your fashion sense is the worst thing I have ever seen.” How does Kevin respond? What do you and Tom say when they finally come down?

Kevin: No, it is not! 

Kevin comes down in that god awful pink suit. 

I stare at him and go, “No, you’re not wearing that. I thought I burned that thing.”

Kevin: I have multiples. 

Bons: He refuses to change.

Me: Well we’re changing that. 

We both take him upstairs and he changes. 

Tom: God, you’re burning my eyes in that thing. Why do you even have it? It’s atrocious. 

9. You and Tom are in the studio one day when you get a call from a cop. “Is this A. M. Keifer and/or C. T. Keifer?” “Yes, why?” you say. “I’m on the scene of a car wreck and one of the victims has you as her emergency contact. We’re at 45th and Youngsfield. You might want to get down here.” He hangs up before you can say anything. You and Tom go down there and you see Kevin before you see the cop, but you’re more confused by the wreck. Kevin’s car is there and the front end is smashed, but the twisted pile of metal on the other side of the intersection is harder to recognize. THe driver’s side is smashed in, but it looks like Bonham’s car. You ask Kevin what happened and he’s a bit hysterical. Through his ravings, Kevin tells you that he was planning on meeting her at a new restaurant, and she was turning and he ran a red light and hit the driver’s side of her car head-on. He’s fine except for a couple of scrapes and bruises, but the EMTs are loading Bonham into the ambulance as you speak. The cop who called you earlier is walking up just as Kevin is telling you all this. How do you and Tom respond? What does the cop say? What happens next?

Me: Kevin, you fucking idiot! 

I hit him with my fists and Tom grabs my arms. 

Tom: Whoa, whoa, whoa, there tiger, calm down. 

I go with Bons in the ambulance and she’s fine but we have to postpone our upcoming concert because she broke her leg again. 

10. Your band and QR are hanging out one night and drinking when the subject of death comes up. Everyone is slowly speculating how everyone will die, and Bonham suddenly says, “I know exactly how I’m going to die, I’m going to shoot myself with a smile on my face. I’ll make sure my friends are happy and then I’ll take myself out cause God knows that no one is going to help me.” That’s dark. How do you, Rudy, Kevin, Carlos, Frankie, Erik, Linus, and Sean respond?

I burst into tears and go, “Please don’t please.” 

Kevin hugs me and goes, “We’d miss you Bons. Please don’t do that.” 

Rudy pulls her into a tight hug and Linus and Erik join it. 

Frankie is sleeping because he’s too drunk and its late. 

Carlos: Whoa, heavy man.

Sean was in the bathroom and comes back, “...what did I miss?” 

11. AVERT YOUR EYES STAFF

You and Tom and Bonham and Kevin are hanging out for the first time since he’s gotten out of rehab. At one point you’re all playing cards, and Bonham steps out to get drinks. She puts beers in front of you and Tom, and as she’s placing Kevin’s drink in front of him, she rests her chest on his shoulder and whispers something about strategy into his ear. She says more loudly, “But that’s just me.” As she sits down, Tom nudges you and points to Kevin. You look up and you see that he’s flushed beet red and is fidgeting in his seat, meanwhile Bonham’s got a smug look on her face. What does Kevin say? How do you and Tom react to what just happened? Does Bonham say anything?

Kevin: I...uh...I’ll...be right back. 

He gets up and makes a beeline for the bathroom. 

We both look at each other but don’t say anything. 

Bons just has a smirk on her face. 

____________________

1) Your singer is pregnant with her and Tom’s first kid and Tom is halfway across the country performing when she goes into labor. You and Kevin take her to the hospital and Kevin is going to her once they get her in the room, “Just breath.” She glares at him and screams, “That’s easy for you to say! I don’t see a kid coming out of your vagina!” How do you and Kevin respond?

2) Your sitting in the front row of a QR concert with your singer and Tom. Kevin is leaning over the stage and singing and Tom goes, “Eww, something wet just dropped on me.” Your singer looks up and goes, “Oh yeah, that’s just Kevin. Slobbering as usual.” How do you and Tom respond?

3) Your singer was given four free tickets to a Stryper concert. She takes you, Kevin, and Tom with her. At the beginning of the concert, you see the band tossing something out. One lands in front of your singer and your singer picks it up, “First concert I’ve ever been to where they throw Bibles into the audience.” Tom looks behind you and goes, “And people stampede to get them. Look out.” A horde of people are coming towards the four of you at the front. What do you, your singer, and Kevin say and what do you guys do?

4) Before Kevin goes to Rehab, you, Rudy, Carlos, Tom, and your singer are drinking and having a good time. Kevin has had a couple beers and is drunk. Your singer gets up to get something and Kevin follows. Soon you hear your singer screaming, “Kevin, get off me! Help get him off me!” The four of your run out in the kitchen to see Kevin has her backed into the corner of the counter and the next thing you know he slaps her hard across the face. You have no time to process this before Tom has him on the ground and is wailing on him. “Don’t you ever hit my girlfriend again! Understand!” What does Kevin do and how do you, your singer, Rudy, and Carlos respond?

5) You, your band, and Tom are working on an album when some guy who’s been stalking your bad gets past the recording studios security and comes into the building. He’s begging you guys for autographs, he’s brandishing a gun and saying, “If you don’t give me what I want I’m going to shoot you.”  Your singer goes, “You want something buddy? How about a knuckle sandwich.” Before she punches him in the face and disarms him. Once the security come to take him, Sean goes, “You’re 78.3% badass.” Your singer looks at him and goes, “How can someone be 78.3% badass?” How does Sean respond and what do you, Tom, Erik, and Linus say?

6) You and your band are drinking and talking about your sexual escapades when Sean goes, “I’ve been around the block a few times.” Your singer smirks at him, “With yourself or with someone else, Sean?” Sean glares at her, “With someone else, Smartass.” How do you, Linus, and Erik respond?

7) Fifteen-year-old Cassie comes walking out into the kitchen where you, your singer, Kevin, and Tom are sitting and goes, “Mom, you used to date Uncle Kevin?” Your singer shakes her head and goes, “Yeah, Cas, I dated him a couple of years before I met your Daddy.” Cassie looks between your singer and Kevin and goes, “I don’t see it.” How do you, your singer, Kevin, and Tom respond? 

8) Kevin is very drunk one day and he leans on the wall beside you at a party you’re at and goes, “No one can take me from being inside of you.” Your singer pipes up from next to Tom, “You realize semen only last about five days in the female body and then is dispelled from the body or dies so she’s actually getting rid of you inside her.” Kevin looks at her, “...shut up, BabyCarrot.” How do you and Tom respond?

9) You and Kevin are in the delivery room with your singer while she’s in labor with Cassie and is holding both your hands. Kevin is visibly uncomfortable and goes, “Why are we the ones helping you? Where’s Tom? You should be breaking his hand.” You glare at him and go, “Kevin, man up! He’s across the country performing. He’ll be here as soon as he can.” Right when you say this, the door bangs open and Tom says, “I’m here! I’m here! What did I miss?” Kevin looks over at him and goes, “You missed your wife breaking my hand.” How do you, your singer, and Tom respond and what happens next?

10) You and Kevin are going over to your singer and Tom’s to help them take the kids trick or treating. When your singer opens the door, you see she’s wearing what she used to wear when you went to QR’s first concerts. “What’s with the get-up?” you ask her. She’s about to say something when Cassie runs up to you and Kevin and goes, “Uncle Kevin! Uncle Kevin! Look I’m you for Halloween!” Kevin leans down to height and goes, “And who’s Sammy?” “Sammy is Uncle Randy and mom dressed Chrissy up to look like Uncle Rudy. And guess who daddy is,” Tom steps out at this moment in a 70s outfit that Drew would have worn. You, your singer, and Kevin burst out laughing. He looks at you, your singer, and Kevin and goes, “I hate you all.” Cassie runs up to him and goes, “Doesn’t he look amazing!” What does Tom say to her and how do you, your singer, and Kevin respond?

11) You and your singer come back from having lunch to find Kevin’s car in your singer and Tom’s driveway. When you come in you hear Tom and Kevin talking. “Don’t you dare tell Cassie, Sam, or Chrissy what I did to BabyCarrot when we dated. It was a bad time in my life and I’ve regretted it once I got sober and realized what I did. I don’t want them looking at me differently.” You hear Tom sigh, “We may have had our problems in the past, but I’ll never tell my kids that. They love and look up to you, especially Cassie.” You and your singer know you weren’t supposed to hear this. Do you make your presence know? If so what do you and your singer say? How do Tom and Kevin respond?

12) You, your singer, Tom, and Kevin are sitting at the kitchen table when 17-year-old Cassie comes storming into the kitchen and slams a magazine open to an article in front of Kevin. “I found this in a drawer in your office. Care to explain?” You, Tom, and your singer look at it and find that it’s the article that was printed when Kevin beat your singer up pretty bad with a not so flattering picture of her face. Cassie has huge tears in her eyes and she goes, “I’m so mad at you right now, Uncle Kevin. I can’t look at you. How could you do that to mom?” How do you, your singer, Kevin, and Tom respond?

13) You’re over at your singer and Tom’s with Kevin while Tom is on tour. You walk into Sam’s room to find him...busy. You squeak and he hears you. How does he respond? Do you tell your singer what you saw him doing? What do you and Kevin say to him? Does your singer ask Kevin to give him ‘the talk’? How does that go?

14) Your singer is nine months pregnant with Cassie and you're sitting with her on the couch. You’re listening to Crüe and Tom and Kevin are sitting on the opposite couch. Your singer is gently rubbing her stomach while talking to you and you hear Tom go, “Isn’t she the sweetest?” Kevin responds, “Yeah who can punch a guy out no problem and listens to lyrics like, ‘”I’m gonna break her face’.” How do you, your singer, and Tom respond?

@osbournebemydaddy your turn Bons :) 

[fishandchipsandvinegar]

So You Want To Record a Podfic?

So Les Mis Podfic Week ( @lesmispodficweek ) is coming up in June and in order for us to maximize the amount of amazing podfic for this fandom, I thought I’d make a tutorial for anyone out there who thought about making podfic, but then looked and said “well this is rather terrifying” and ran in the other direction.

I’m here to make recording podfic easy peasy lemon squeezy. Mostly so you can make the amazing authors you’re reading for squee with delight.

This post is going to just be about setting up to record podfic, we’ll handle the mess of actually recording and editing later. (and if you’ve been around the block before, I’ve hidden some trade secrets in here for all interested parties)

So to start out you’re going to need 4 things:

A microphone

A free piece of software called Audacity

A super awesome amazing fanfiction to record

A bunch of big blankets and chairs.

Let’s tackle these one by one below the cut. (and we’ll do a summary at the end)

MICROPHONE

Please, for the love of all that is holy, get a microphone.

If you do one thing for me, it will be going outside (scary, I know) and retrieving a microphone. It can be a:

Beautiful, expensive Blue Snowball or Blue Yeti

A cheap, less than $25CAN microphone from Walmart

That USB Microphone that came with your Xbox or Playstation so you could play Rock Band when you were 9

Hell, at worst, use the microphone on your smartphone.

But please, PLEASE do not use your laptop microphone. It sucks. No matter what computer you have, IT IS THE WORST.

“But Amanda, I sound okay on Skype and Discord, do I really need…”

YES. YES YOU DO.

When you record sound using your laptop microphone… it also picks up all those lovely little sounds happening inside your computer that you can’t hear. And it’s nigh impossible to edit them out. I want to hear you reading, not your computer. So PLEASE get some kind of microphone.

Ideally, you want a microphone that has a USB on one end. That’s going to be the easiest way to do this.

“But Amanda! My microphone has a 3.5mm Headphone jack on the end!”

That’s alright. There should be a microphone port on your laptop next to where you plug in your headphones. If there isn’t, record into an app on your smartphone/tablet and then download it to your computer.

“But Amanda! There’s some port on the end that’s not a USB and it’s not a headphone jack…”

Props to you for finding a fancy professional microphone! But, you’re going to need an adapter. Most music stores sell them.

“But Amanda! Can’t I just use the microphone on my headphones?”

You know, I’ve never actually tried this. If anyone can get it to work, please let me know and I'll link how to do it here. (You might be able to record this way using an app on a smartphone/tablet.)

AUDACITY

So now that I made you go spend money on a microphone, I’m damn well NOT going to make you spend money on software. Enter a free, open-source, lovely program called Audacity. Think of Audacity like the cheap grocery stores of the world. Everything is the same (mostly) as the big, fancy, grocery stores, but you get everything for cheaper because the store doesn’t look pretty.

Audacity looks intimidating and terrifying, but we’re here to help. You can make Audacity your bitch.

But first you need to install it. Or… you need to install two parts of it.

The actual program

A piece of extra software that will let you import and export MP3s (called Lame)

There are a dozen tutorials on how to install this software so I’m just going to link them here:

DOWNLOAD AUDACITY HERE: https://www.audacityteam.org/ DOWNLOAD LAME (the software that lets you use MP3s) HERE: https://lame.buanzo.org/#lamewindl

INSTRUCTIONS TO INSTALL BOTH (for WINDOWS): https://manual.audacityteam.org/man/installing_and_updating_audacity_on_windows.html

INSTRUCTIONS TO INSTALL BOTH (for MAC): https://manual.audacityteam.org/man/installing_and_updating_audacity_on_mac_os_x.html

Note: If you also want to work with WMAs, then you may also need to download another piece of software called FFmpeg. The installation instructions above cover that as well.

Okay, now that you installed those, did you restart your computer? Audacity won’t link up the two pieces of software if you don’t. Go do that and come back.

PICKING A FIC

Look, I know that 60k slow burn, fake dating AU owns a small part of your soul. I get it. I’ve been there.

This is not the fic you want to pick for your first podfic. Trust me when I say pick something short.

One-shots in the 3k-5k range are a good first project. It’ll give you more than enough audio to practice your editing skills, and shouldn’t take you much longer than a couple hours to record.

More importantly, it should edit down to something about 30 min. long, which is an easily listenable length for most people.

“But Amanda! I reaaaaaaalllly like this one fic and…”

Live your dreams, kid. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Another thing you have to do is ask the author if you have permission to make a podfic of their work. Some authors don’t like it, and others will be absolutely thrilled. In the case of Les Mis Podfic Week, everyone on the list has granted permission, so you’re good on that front.

BLANKETS AND CHAIRS

Time to get comfy, yo. Put on some PJs. Drag out some pillows. And then box the whole thing in with the best damn blanket barricade fort you’ve ever built.

(has anyone else noticed that Courf just hands Gavroche a gun in this scene? OMG)

And then christen the barricade fort by reciting the recording cardinal rule:

THOU SHALT RECORD GOOD AUDIO.

No amount of editing or fancy software can fix audio that was bad in the first place, so nest yourself into an environment that’s as close to perfect as you can get.

Building a blanket fort is a cheap way to build a (mostly) soundproof space. The blankets are soft and will absorb harsh sounds, but also insulate the space from outside.

You could create a blanket fort one of two ways:

The classic tables, chairs and blankets method

Throwing a comforter over your head while you record

One of these ways looks more like a barricade. Just saying.

If you’re blankets don’t quite reach the ground it’s okay. Just make the side you’re speaking towards longer than the side towards your back (this will also help to ventilate the fort, which will probably get hella warm).

Then climb in your fort, set up your computer and plug in your microphone.

Now sit for a full minute in quiet meditation and just listen.

You’re listening for anything that would interrupt your revolution you would consider loud and annoying while you were making a very important phone call.

Are there windows open? Can you hear the outside world? Close them. We are going to a world of pure imagination, we don’t want the real world.

Is the fan on your computer being unbelievably loud at this, the one time you need it to be quiet? Close some of the things you have open and see if it calms down. If not, move the microphone to the opposite side of your computer from the fan, and pull it as far away from your computer as you can. I like to stick my computer outside the blanket fort and the microphone inside on one of the chairs.

Can you hear other people in the house? Ask them to be quiet while you record, or move to a part of the house where you can’t hear them.

Is the air/heart in your house very loud? Mine is SO LOUD. It’s like a vacuum cleaner, I swear. Turn it off.

Basically, you’re looking to eliminate any sound you have control over.

Now you’re ready to record. We’ll deal with how to do this in another how-to, but some things to consider:

Be very still. Your microphone will pick up you shuffling. Get comfy or pause to shift and then continue reading. You can always cut out the shuffling parts in editing.

Take breaks. Stretch. I like to do this every time there’s a page break.

Bring a drink. Your voice is gonna go wonky with all that chatter. Enjolras is gonna be a word that gets harder and harder to say. Feuilly’s just gonna be hard right from the start.

Watch your microphone cord. If your microphone is handheld, the shifting of the cord as you speak will also be picked up by the microphone.

Consider duct taping handheld microphones to lamps. No, I’m not kidding. Duct tape your microphone to a lamp. Got one of those articulated lamps like in the Pixar logo? Look at that, you’ve basically got a professional microphone stand. AND IT’S ALSO A LAMP.

Don’t read straight into your microphone. Hold it/set it up a couple of inches to the left or right of where you’re speaking towards. This will stop you from popping your P-s and spitting your S-es

NOW LOOK AT YOU!

You’re practically a professional already.

So let’s say the recording cardinal rule together.

Thou shalt record good audio by:

Using a real microphone. NOT YOUR LAPTOP MICROPHONE.

Downloading and installing Audacity. And the extra bit that lets you use MP3s.

Picking a fic to read that’s around 3k.

Building a badass blanket fort and eliminating ambient noise.

If you have any questions or are really stuck on something, you can reach out and message me. Also, if this tutorial was helpful to you, tag me in whatever you make! I want to hear how awesome you sound.

You got this, kid. Now go out there and tell the world’s stories.

(also <3 to @mysunfreckle for helping me format this in a way that was actually readable)

[yukipage]

Antithesis: Chapter 14 (Darkiplier/Reader)

Characters: Darkiplier, Reader

Summary: Choices is the theme of the day, when you land in the other dimension. Some unimportant, some life-changing. What will you pick?

While it may be fine for a simple piece of paper, traveling across dimensions unsheltered as a complex organism comes with some… complications. The space between realities is nothing to sneeze at, so the demon has to rush them through to ensure their physical and mental healths are in peak condition for the super-duper ultra, very exciting half-time game. Not that he would have any trouble speeding the process along; on the contrary, it was quite easy for him. The demon had nearly unlimited power and that could get terribly boring from time to time. Piddly actions, such as limiting Darkimoo’s teleportation, he could perform with a snap of his fingers. Only the greatest of feats came with a power limitation, and a small one at that: consent. At least two parties involved had to be willing participators. It was becoming increasingly too simple to manipulate his subjects into doing something fun, though. Ah, well. This new game should be exhilarating, if at least for a short while. One of the chosen players has proven to be extremely interesting, a good choice if he does say so himself. She holds the potential to amuse even outside the game, if he can clear the conditions. Just as much of a child as he is a strategist, the demon wiggles on his throne in eagerness of what is to come.

You can sense the change in surroundings as soon as you close your eyes. Darkiplier is gone from your arms and you feel a cold surface appear below you, offering no solace. It is as if the journey through the portal had taken no time at all. Your tensed body relaxes slightly and your eyelids open. You are in a most curious room. The walls, black in color, swirl and wisp like smoke trapped behind glass. The floor is made of the same material. You run your hand over it; it’s as smooth as polished stone. Despite the shade of it all, the windowless room is well-lit from several mounted lights dotting the walls. A luxurious canopy bed stands to one side with a dressing table next to it. Atop the little table sits a clear basin, filled to the brim with what seems to be water, and a cup. Your thirst once again hits you at full force and you scramble over to the container. Snatching up the cup, you only hesitate for a second before plunging it into the liquid. You drain the glass in one gulp and fill it again and again, hardly savoring the feel of cool, sweet water running down your throat. You drink until you can hold no more, then tiredly shuffle over to the bed. The water sloshes around in your overfull stomach as you sink into the mattress and heave a sigh of contentment. You swear to yourself that you never again will take water for granted. Now that your thirst has been quenched, you sit up and try to get your bearings.

You absentmindedly run your finger through the coating of dust and sweat on your arm. What you would have expected is for the stupid half-time game to have started already. Instead, the demon just split the group up. You assume that the others are in different parts of this… house? Building? You don’t even know what kind of structure you are in. You attempt to ignore your aching body as you cross the floor to open one of the two doors located in this room. Door number one leads, surprisingly, to a bathroom. It carries the same aesthetic as the rest of the room, but never-the-less seems to be a normal restroom, shower and all. A small pile of white cloth is folded neatly on the closed toilet lid. You graze your hand over the fabric and gasp. It’s the softest thing that you’ve ever had the pleasure to feel. Smooth and silky, your fingers pass over it almost frictionlessly. Gingerly, you pick it up and realize that it’s a sleeveless dress. Fresh undergarments lie tucked underneath it. You hold the item up to the mirror. It seems to be your size, but it’s pearly white pleated folds starkly contrast with the layers of dirt covering your skin and laced into your bedraggled hair. You resolve to take a shower.

After spending nearly an hour indulging yourself under the pleasantly cool water while scrubbing the grime off of your body, you step out of the shower and dry yourself off. You slip on the clean undergarments and the dress. Immediately, you are in heaven. The dress flows over your form like water and feels lighter than air. Moving your hips back and forth, you swish it playfully around. Another glance in mirror takes your breath away. Even with your wet, stringy hair, you look like an Egyptian goddess.

Your senses return to you when you step back into the main room. As far as you can see, you only have two choices. Option A: cocoon yourself in the blankets on the comfy bed and sleep until something happens. Option B: go through the second door and see if it leads somewhere; if it does, explore said somewhere until you find someone. Something, somewhere, someone; neither of these plans are very specific. First you need to test if option B is even possible. You pull the door open a crack and peek out. It opens up to a hallway lined with doors, stretching far to an adjacent passageway. Glancing back in the room, you stare longingly at the bed.

Screw it, you can’t just sit here and do nothing. You step into the hallway barefoot, loathe to put back on your defiled shoes. You leave the door open. The corridor stretches just as far to your right as it does to your left. In a moment of decision, you turn right. As you go, you try several doors. All of them seem to be locked. When you reach the end, you turn right again. Try every door in the corridor. This time turn left at the end. Wash, rinse, repeat. You quickly lose yourself in the maze of doors. The sameness of it all and the hopelessness that comes with being completely and utterly lost starts to unnerve you. You feel as if you are doomed to wander these halls for all eternity, always searching and never finding anything. Then you turn another corner for what feels like the millionth time and run headlong into a giant ring.

Rubbing your tender forehead, you step back and see that the giant ring is in fact a handle attached to a large door. You shrug and start to tug on the handle. It opens more easily than you would think for a door that size. You peep in.

The entrance leads to a massive chamber. Rows upon rows of chairs line the space, parting only in the middle for a blood red carpet. At the end of the carpet, steps lead up to a gigantic geometrically shaped throne. On the throne sits a small shadowy figure dwarfed by the largeness of its surroundings. The figure is humanoid in shape, but with no distinguishing features except for an unsettlingly large mouth, stretched into a grin, and two white, pupil-less eyes. Those eyes happen to be trained on your person. The figure speaks. “Hey there girly! Why don’t you come on down? I’ve been wait’n for sooo looong.” He spoke with the voice of the demon. This was the demon. You never thought that he had a physical form, let alone that you would ever see it. You open the door just wide enough for you to step through and start down the aisle. It’s not like you have a choice or anything.

You venture to speak as you walk. “I thought...” Your voice cracks. You start over. “I, uh, thought we were supposed to start your game or whatever.”

“Heeheehee,” the demon giggles. “That we will, that we will. I just wanted some alone time with you before the fun begins. You know, so we can talk.”

“Talk?” You grow bolder as you stop at the steps. “What could I possibly have to talk about with you?” Once you are close, you get a good measure of his actual size. He’s no larger than a child. The eyes and mouth still unsettle you though.

“I have a proposition for you. One might call it… hmmm, shall we say, a deal?”

You step back and throw your hands up defensively. “Oh no. No way. Your deals have caused nothing but trouble for me and for Dark.”

“But this one would solve aaall of your problems. And you even get to choose which one to take! Option A or Option B.” He winks at you.

“What? How did you…”

“Option A. After we finish these games, it’ll be no fun with either Darkimoo or Glitchy just running around by themselves.” The demon makes what you assume is a pouty face. “So, I’ll take them out of their hosts for you! See? That would make your life so much easier! Darkimoo would be out of your hair forever and ever and ever. You would go back to normal.”

You stare at him in shock. “Would Mark and Jack be alive?”

“Of course, silly. That’s easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.”

You gulp. It seemed like everything that you had been striving for. And yet… Something unsettling nags at the pit of your stomach. You do you best to suppress it. “So what’s the catch then?”

“Wait, wait, wait! You haven’t heard Option B yet! B is the real kicker. It’d keep me entertained for a long while. I’m sure you’ll like this one.” The demon rests his chin on his hand, his elbow supported by the arm of the throne. “I could make Darkimoo fall in love with you,” he croons with a sly grin.

You turn as red as the carpet you're standing on. “Are you crazy?” you stutter. “ I’m not… he’s not… I wouldn’t… Why? I don’t…” He presses his fingers against his thumb and your mouth clacks shut involuntarily.

“Oh please, my dear,” he spits out mockingly. “It’s so painfully obvious. You run back and forth with him, all over the world, without protest. Don’t tell me you aren’t enjoying the time spent with him. Enjoyed him holding you. You do everything he asks you to.” You mumble a muffled protest. “And what girl wouldn’t fall in love with a man like that? He’s saved your life three times, carried you on his back, offered to give you anything you desired. And what a dreamboat, smart, powerful, handsome, and with that amaaazingly sensual voice. Ah,” The demon pretends to swoon. “The real Markimoo would never even glance your way. But this one? He would be yours. All he would need is a little nudge in the right direction. You would never be lonely again. And, I’ll even throw in the removal of Glitchy. How ‘bout them apples?”

Through this whole speech, you shrink smaller and smaller into yourself with every word uttered. He just might be right. He just might… Oh, who are you kidding? Of course he’s right. You want to smack the living daylights out of yourself for being so stupid. You? Fall in love with a being that kidnapped you, locked you up, and dragged you around half the world? How could anyone be so ridiculous? Yet, it is true. Every single word that he says is true. He releases his hold on your mouth. “Well? What do you have to say?”

You feel like a cornered animal. You lick your lips nervously and swallow, your mouth suddenly very, very dry. Eventually, you find your voice. “F-fine. You win.” You hang your head in defeat. “I, uh…”

“You love…”

“I love… dang it! Don’t make me say it!” Tears stream down your cheeks.

The demon cackles. “I knew it! I knew it, I knew it. So, now that everything is laid bare on your end, I’ll expose mine. In exchange for either of my lovely proposals, I get the right to inhabit your body until the game is finished. Then I’ll do what you’ll have me do and be on my way. It’s simple, really. A bargain, if I do say so myself.”

“You want to inhabit my body? Like possess me?”

“Yeppers. And only for a teensy weensy amount of time. However. There is another catch. This deal is available if and only if you win the super-duper fantabulous extra-exciting half-time game. You get to make you choice at that time and what happens, happens.”

Your mind reels. This is so much, too much to handle. You’ll have to choose one way or another; you might not even get to if you lose. What if you don’t take the deal? Then there’s a hundred percent chance of either Sean dying or… Darkiplier and Mark dying. You don’t think you would be able to survive either one. You tell yourself not to be selfish. You tell yourself that you’re better than this. You should pick A. Regardless of morals, you still don’t know which one you would choose and it eats you up inside. You sigh. “I’ll take the deal then. When I win.”

“Excellent. The game can begin now! Let’s bring out our brilliant contestants!”

|A03| |Chapter 1| |Chapter 2| |Chapter 3| |Chapter 4| |Chapter 5| |Chapter 6| |Chapter 7| |Chapter 8| |Chapter 9| |Chapter 10| |Chapter 11| |Chapter 12| |Chapter 13| |Chapter 15|

[crystallinerage]

Road Trip to Confession City

I wrote  something, wow. Its just a classic meteorstuck davekat fic. Anyway I’m not fantastic at writing so feedback is appreciated.(Alt title: Dave Stole Fizzy Lifting Drinks)

The air on the meteor is calm, sedated almost. You and Karkat are just kind of chilling in Can Town, sitting just a little closer than would be considered normal back on Earth, you notice. You tell yourself not to worry about it, Earth's dead, and so are all the bullshit social rules that came with it. So who cares about what would have been okay on Earth, right? But, it doesn't stop the dusting of pink that creeps up your neck and onto your ears from just the thought of being so close.

Shit, come to think of it your hands are almost touching. So close that you could just reach over a little and close the space between you. You don't though. It would be too weird.

Karkat's occupied, scribbling doors and windows onto some cans to make buildings, and rambling about some movie the two of you watched a few nights ago. You're responding, but you have no idea what's coming out of your mouth. You must have said something funny though, because Karkat turns to you and laughs in a way that when you had gotten to the meteor you didn't think he was capable of. It's just so... soft and real.

It slowly dawns on you that you have to do something. Anything, just to get something out to tell him. You don't know if you're ready for this. Or if he is either. Or what you're going to even do. But before you can second guess yourself more, you sit up suddenly. It gets you a questioning look from Karkat. The kind where his thick brows are furrowed together, but one of them is peaked up a bit. Confused, sarcastic, and sort of endearing. Jesus Christ you need to get your shit together.

You lean back on your arm a bit, desperately trying to seem casual, "So uh... you wanna like, go somewhere?"

Fantastic. So well executed. The kind of intelligence and way with words that will get you three straight As on your next English papers. Aren't you just the pinnacle of speech.

Karkat's brows crease further. "Go where? And why, what's wrong with Can Town?"

"I... I'll explain when we get there ok?"

"that sounds extremely suspicious but ok, I guess out of everyone on the meteor you’re the least likely to be the one that does me in for good."

Karkat starts to stand up, raising an eyebrow in your direction. You walk towards the exit and wait as he catches up to you.

You walk in silence for a solid three minutes before either of you says anything. You start to wonder whether this was a good idea. Your stupid god tier pajamas don't have any pockets, so you resort to playing with the edge of your cape. You sneak a look over at Karkat from behind your shades and oh god he's looking at you. It's that look with just the slightest bit of confusion and concern. It makes your hands start to shake. Shit, you're staring now. You snap your gaze forward, hoping he couldn't see your eyes from behind your glasses.

He's still looking at you as he asks, "Hey, um, are you like good? You haven’t said anything for the past three minutes and while I’m usually all for you finally shutting the fuck up I still have no clue where you’re taking me and you’re being really goddamn weird about it."

You shrug and try to laugh it off, "nah dude everything is all good, 100%, The goodest it’s ever been and get this it’s about to be even better because would you look at that we’re here."

You panic a bit as you trail off and end up pulling Karkat into the nearest empty room with you.

Shit.

This was a really bad idea.

The room you’re standing in is almost identical to every other room on the meteor. Same grey walls, tiled floor, and fluorescent lights that strain your eyes even with your shades on. You better be able to bs your way out of this one fast.

You flex your fingers, letting go of the cape you forgot you practically had a death grip on. You get another look at Karkat. Oh no. He’s got that look on his face. The one that’s pretty much his standard brand of mildly-and-constantly angry, but with the slightest bit of anticipation in his eyes. The kind of look you’re only able to recognize because you spend so much time with him. On anyone else it’s a look that’s off putting, but with him it’s vaguely pleasant. It’s in the way he looks just slightly up at you, waiting for you to speak, and inevitably ramble your way into oblivion. Speaking of which, you’re doing it again, staring, that is.

You figure at this point Karkat has had enough of standing in silence having you stare him down, because he folds his arms across his chest, sighs, and says, “Alright, so now I KNOW something is up, you dragged me all the way out here, said next to nothing the entire time we were walking, and now we’re in a room that’s completely indistinguishable from any other room on this god forsaken rock and not to mention completely fucking empty. You still haven’t exactly explained what the hell were doing here, so tell me Strider, What. Is. The Deal?”

You let out a long breath, “Yeah ok I guess keeping you in the dark this whole time may have been a bad idea,”

He snorts and rolls his eyes. You probably deserve that.

“But just hear me out okay?”

“Alright Strider, I’m listening. What could be so incredibly important that you had to drag me out into middle-of-nowhere, Meteor City? Am I about to be graced with the most beautiful and moving rap about puppet ass and this room had the best acoustics? Is that it Dave?”

He’s leaning towards you as he says that. He’s close enough that you can see the way his black mess of hair curls around from behind his ears. You know he was just doing it to be sarcastic and condescending but shit if it doesn’t make your heart rate spike just a little. Nothing life threatening, no heart attacks today, but woah.

You laugh and it comes out a little shaky.

“Okay, okay uh, so this is probably gonna sound really weird but just don’t worry about it. I’m gonna say something that I didn’t want to say while we were in Can Town because there’s so many good memories and shit and us being really good friends-like super fucking good friends-and like hell I want to ruin that for myself,shit Can Town is like the one place I can stand to be for more than like two hours, and I also feel like I’d be kinda ruining the sanctity of it or some shit I don’t know -“

“What the actual fuck are you talking about?”

You sigh, God why is this so difficult? It’s not that hard Strider, just get those words out of your dumb shit mouth and hop on the feelings train to confession town. Easy peasy lemon squeezy and all that shit.

“Spit it out Dave.”

Of course this would be the one time you find it hard to speak, of course.

“Alright... alright I-I just, I like you ok, like... a lot. And it took me a while to actually realize it because I was just pulling layer and layer of repression over it and I didn’t want to let Rose know about it because I just know she’d go total therapist mode on my sorry ass so I was just kinda silently freaking out for a while and just kept pushing the thought further and further back in my head. As if I just ignored it long enough it’d go away completely. But then you’d do something that’s just completely fucking mundane and stupid and for some bullshit reason it’d like set something off in my head and I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it for literal days on end. And it’s been going on long enough where I kind of had to come to terms with it but as it fucking turns out that doesn’t help! It does exactly jack shit as a matter of fact! It just keeps piling up and the littlest things make my heart speed up and I know I’m kind of throwing a load of shit at you all at once and I basically already know you’re going reject me so hard I’m thrown from this plane of existence but if there’s any chance just... just please tell me you feel the same.”

Oh boy. You realize that that was maybe a lot at once. You cringe inwardly on yourself as you dare another look at Karkat.

He’s… stunned? You assume that would be an appropriate reaction. You have no idea wether it’s good or bad though and it’s eating at you. He looks at his hands, which are halfway inside his sweater sleeves, and back up at you again. There’s something in his eyes that makes you want to cry and scream out of impatience and the smallest, most microscopic bit of hope. You silently will him to say something. Anything really.

He meets your gaze even with your shades on. It’s terrifying, but it’s sincere and filled with earnest. You can see the small patches of red creeping across his face and the hint of a smile on his lips.

“I- oh... oh my god I- holy shit I woah I thought for sure that there was absolutely no way and that came so far out of left field i just woah”

The smile on his face widens, far enough for you to see his sharp teeth. It’s weirdly adorable.

He shakes his head, making his curls bounce out of his face, “I mean Jesus... yeah ok I mean I guess I’ll just cut to the fucking chase here, I like you too, like a whole lot.”

You could swear your feet have lifted off the ground at this point. You can feel how hot your face is and you’re sure you’ve flushed all the way up to your eyebrows. Your heart is moving at a pace you didn’t think was humanly possible. Is this really happening?

“Wait-you’re serious? Like 100% all jokes aside no funny business serious?”

Karkat’s grin threatens to split his face in half.

“yeah... I uh I’m serious.”

“You really like me, you’re sure?”

“yeah, yeah I really really do.”

Holy shit. This is happening. You’re at least an inch off the ground now, you’re sure of it.

Karkat’s fidgeting with his sleeves. You can see his hands shake a little. He looks up at you suddenly, practically bright red (but it’s not like you look much better).

“I- uh can… Can I yknow? Can I kiss you?”

You’re lifted another inch.

“Oh! Shit! I mean yes! Of course, fuck yes you can! God… fuck!”

He takes the two steps towards you that close the space. He hesitates for a second, but puts his hands up and grabs onto the hood of your cape. Oh shit you’re still floating. Embarrassed, you slowly lower your feet back onto the ground. Karkat laughs and, oh god, he leans in so that your foreheads are touching.

“You’re an idiot.”

What remained of the space between you is now gone. His lips are on yours and it’s so… soft. Not like you would expect from the guy that screamed at you for so long he could barely breathe once, but it’s perfect. It’s long and slow and everything you didn’t even know you wanted out of a first kiss. Before you realize what you’re doing you’re pushing your hands up through his hair. It curls around your fingers as you notice that Karkat has pulled you even closer, his arms around your neck.

You break for a second, less than inches away from each other.

“Sorry,” you breathe.

He smiles, “ For what?”

“For taking so long.”

And then you kiss him again.